Saturday, February 24, 2007

John Howard: Alive!

Today in the news
[Quote] Lisa Nowak's definition of mature turned out to be putting on a diaper and filling a bag full of objects that would be dangerous in the wrong hands. As of press time, jealousy crazed adults wearing diapers are still considered to be "the wrong hands" for nearly every object in existence, and are only mentally capable of getting tasered. [Quote]
That's right, a crazed murdering mother with a "full" diaper on her head was caught attempting to commit an offense called mu
rder. What else would you do if your love cheated on you?
Shipman gave Nowak a chance to explain why she was dressed as a serial killer that smelled like baby s***, but she was instead greeted w
ith a face full of pepper-spray. [Quote]

[Quote] NASA is currently trying to determine whether or not Nowak suffered any psychological damage as a result of space travel. Some believe that her condition is reminiscent of previous cases of space-rabies. [Quote]
How do we know she's not been taken over by an alien?
And further more, what evidence do they have that shes was trying to murder them? Everyone has pepper spray in their pockets to protect themselves from oncoming people who want to talk you out of being insane.
[Quote] Nowak was found by authorities in the process of ditching any incriminating evidence from her person. In addition to the wig, BB gun and pepper spray, a search of her car yielded a new steel mallet, a pocket knife, rubber tubing and large garbage bags. [Quote]
Maybe she was just going bowling?

In other news:
Check out this awesome email i got today!

(click on it for better view)
Also in the news the dog who ate John Howards arm and legs was arrested for doing drugs, we always new he was a bad'n.
We will always remember John Howard

("Please God, give me some human flesh")
Daniel (Vector) Kerr (The smartest man in the world) remembers the day John bought a piece of brain from him.
"I remember that smile he had, that glowing smile. Brings a tear to my eye, he licked his lips and said, "Dats a good bitta brain int it.""

BBC1: "We did, sometimes forget who this man was sometimes.. but all in all we'll remember him by this."

The Daily Crumb:
John Howard emailed me yesterday at his email
I asure you, Tony Blair and George Bush were telling the truth. They did not eat him. John said in the email he was running away from the law, he's actually eaten his own wife. He added, "With syrup" and thinks that the police are after him.
Now i dont know why he chose to email us because... well, no one ever believes us at the Crumb.
But we'll get down to it.

His email was connected with the one i posted above

- Nathan (munch) Viney

Astronaut info from

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