Saturday, December 03, 2016

Nathan of Crayblock (A Short Story)

Someone turned the music off... while I was still listening to it. It was a really good song, one of those ones that prepares your ears for a smooth transition into something quite delightful. But anyway, that's all gone. I hope I don't get a headache from that abrupt ending. All I could hear now was an icecream van play tunes in the distance.

Usually, I'd get pretty excited about that. ICECREAM! But you know, I can tell by the drifting melody that I'd never reach it in time. I'd run and run and I'd just see it soar off around some side street. Just like every single day when I miss the bus.
Anyway, someone turned the music off. Actually, I was alone. So no one there actually could have done it. My wifi was still connected so that was not at fault. I put total blame on Spotify! Of course I do. They probably wanted to throw an advert in there, begging me to give them some real moneys. The advert most likely glitched out and boom! music stopped.
But no, I was wrong.

Actually, I was right. The internet just cut a bit and then the music started again. Ha, I made that all sound way dramatic. It really was not that dramatic. But it did make me realise one, very important thing. I really wanted icecream.
So I went outside my house, locked the door behind me, realised I'd forgotten my money, went back in.... out again. Blah Blah Blah. The sun was going down now so it was like, URH Soon I won't be able to see. I was wearing my glasses you see, (Get it, SEE). Anyway, they are really old, I'd had them since I was like 12. Because of this, the lenses were incorrect for my deteriorating eyeballs. I usually wore updated contact lenses. But that day, I was slack.

And I heard this manic laughing come from behind me. It was from the house behind me (Which was mine because I was out the front of my house). But then I realised it was actually coming from the house BEHIND MY house. I made that uneventful event sound way too eventful.

I thought, that's odd. Who on earth would laugh so loudly and so embaressingly?
Then a man ran out from behind, laughing. I could tell from his laugh that he was from New Zealand. Though, that may have been the background sound of the icecream van's song mixing with the sound waves of his roaring screams (of fun). I'm getting off topic... AND FAST.

He stopped when he saw me, stopped laughing.. and stopped running. Stopped dead in his tracks and pebbles went in his sandles. He was going to regret not slowing down at a nice calm pace once that pebble started irrtating his foot. I did not say anything about the pebble, it was not my place to start stressing people out with nonsense ramblings.
"DIDN'T YOU HEAR? GOD'S JUST APPEARED! IT'S ALL OVER THE NEWS!" Whoa! He screamed in my ear. He seemed delighted actually.
"Hi, I'm Nathan." I said cautiously.
"HI NATHAN! YOU SHOULD GET INSIDE."
"Hi.. Um yeah, no I'm going to get icecream."
"Well, I've got icecream. Why don't you come in my house?" He asked.
"No. I... No, I don't go in strangers houses. What do you mean, God has appeared?"
"It's all over the news! It's on the BBC News! It's on the CNN and the SKY Sports News! It's on ITV and ABC and The Daily Mail! and all the important ones and NONE of the fake news sites."
"Now listen here, strange man that lives in the house behind my house... You standing here telling me that God has appeared and that it's not on any fake news sites is the equivalent of me actually reading a FAKE news site."
"Hey mate, I'm just trying to help. No need to get all up in my face about it. I was an Atheist yesterday and now I definitely believe in the letter A. AND GOD."

He was breathing heavily, his eyes were getting larger and larger, but not in any inhuman way. Don't get me wrong, you've most likely seen someone act like this before. He wasn't alien or anything. He was just your regular run of the mill crazy person. Uh.. from New Zealand. I'm not going to make any jokes about New Zealand people, they made that wonderful King Kong movie so no faults I say!

"So what did the newspapers say about God then?" I asked.
"Not the newspapers. This is very recent. The newspapers won't get the news until tomorrow." he replied.
"Oh yeah. Ok, So what did the online news say?" But before he could acknowledge what I'd said, he was off on another one...
"Oh no.. there it is again...." He started getted sidetracked. His pupils were dancing up and down... and his ears were twitching!" (Not streaming)
"What?" I asked.
"The icecream van music. God said, If we hear it for too long, we'll turn into dead people!"
"ZOMBIES?"
"No.. just dead people. We'll die. The icecream van music will kill us."

Ok, I'd had enough at this point, and the more this nut-case said the word 'icecream', the more I yearned for some.
"Ok, thank you. I have to go now."
I waved a goodbye and headed off down the street.
But I was not alone for long. The guy from next door was following me, doing this creepy walk. 'Patter' 'patter', light footed, like a cartoon burglar. Plus, more people starting drifting out of their homes and walking beside me.
I stopped and turned around. I was feeling rather scared really, what if they were part of some kids knife gang? Did they exist? Probably. My mind flashed back to when the Seventh Doctor got shot by some adults in the Doctor Who Movie. Then it occured to me how irrelevent that was ... not knives... guns.. not kids.. adults...
"Excuse me, you guys ok?" I asked them. There was about 10 I could count. Including one small child with her mother.
They all glared at me with worried faces. Maybe they were worried that they were all going to stab me?
"YOU HAVE TO GO IN YOUR HOUSE NATHAN!" It was the mother that shouted at me.
"YES! RETURN HOME CHAP!" This was a wonderfully posh man with a top hat and a cane. But not in any weird way. He was just trying to be real cool. But I'd seen him out and about at gigs and art gallerys, he just could never find a place to settle. So OF COURSE he'd join the mum and new zealand guy in this ubsurd little street group they'd set up. Groupaholic!
"Ok, I don't know what you guys all want. But all I WANT... IS ICECREAM!"
The kid giggled and asked, "What flavour, mister?"
"Not sure yet, cookies and cream? Mint choc chip? Plain ol chocolate? Maybe even toffee!"
The mother tripped up the child so it landed flat on it's face. "DON'T YOU TALK TO THE NICE MAN!" The mother shouted at the girl, spit spiraling out of her mouth. "I LOVE YOU CHILD, BUT YOU ARE NOT WORTHY."

This struck a nerve for me, for one, what she said made no sense and for two, you should not trip over your own child in most circumstances. "Hey! Don't do that!" was the only thing that came out of my mouth.
"I'm sorry 'Nathan, of CrayBlock'. I will never trip over my daughter again. For you." The woman pleaded on her knees.
"For HER you mean! And don't do that, you'll hurt your knees. The road is real bumpy and hard. Anyway. I appreciate all of this weird, I mean.. nice supportive stuff you keep saying to me but I really must be off."
I waved at the woman, the posh chap and smiled awkwardly at the New Zealand man. His nod was mechanical.

Of course the moment I turned around, a new face was in my face. A wrinkly old face, a wise woman's face. Or at least she sounded wise by the way she spoke. But I'm pretty sure dumb people
can have wise voices as well.
"Nathan of Crayblock, you must stay in your house. Away from the sound. God said you are the only one that can save us from this musical virus."
I sighed.. in my mind.
"Ok, Woman of ... the dustbin. What on earth is CRAYBLOCK? And if this icecream van music is SO BAD then why are none of YOU in your houses keeping safe?"

The wise woman nodded and with a calming notion, waved her hand toward the other folk. "Lord Nathan of Crayblock is correct. It is foolish of us to all risk our lives trying to save his. Especially with the child."
The mother just laughed.
The wise woman continued, "I want everyone to return to their homes while I remain."
And with that, 9 out of 10 neighbourhood nobodies left me and went back to their stupid homes and left me a blummin lone! Just that wise woman left then.

"Hey, thanks for that. I owe you one, how did you get all of them to leave anyway?".
"I am the owner at the community hall. I suppose they are just used to me talking for them at the podium. Haha, I moan a lot you know. About pot holes and people wearing offensive clothing in the town. It's all very offensive to me."
"Oh ok. Well thanks again, I'll be on my way now to the shop."
"I'm sorry Nathan of Crayblock, but that is impossible. You MUST return home. You've most likely already heard the icecream van music too much. If you do not return NOW, YOU WILL DIE."

And then I noticed the most horrible, annoying thing I could ever have noticed.... the sun had gone down. And you remember that thing I said about my eyesight? Yeah. I was stuck with a weird old woman with no real idea of how to get to the shop. My surroundings had become a blurred palette of colour. I was blind... mostly. Something about the night time just doesn't agree with my eyes.

"Ok... well, I've missed my chance to get to the shop now. So.. Great. Thanks. I Guess.. Damn it, I guess I'll just have to go home. I'll have nightmares and.. and I'll hate you and I'll hate myself and all I wanted was icecream and you took it away from me. I hope you feel happy old woman. I hope you, and your little neighbourhood pals all feel real proud of themselves. GOOD BYE!"

So I turned away in a huff, went home and slammed the blummin door behind me. WHAT A NIGHT.

So anyway, when I woke up in the morning God was on my sofa.
"Oh.. hey God."
"Hey."
"So you really appeared?"
"Yeah."
"Why are you on my sofa, God?"
"You don't know? Do you not even read the news?"
"Not really. Sometimes I'll read headlines. But the news is way depressing."
"That's true. Not my fault though." God shifted in the chair.
"I'm glad you cleared that up."

By the way, don't leave a comment on this post asking if God was a man or a woman ok? I have no idea what God was. What I saw on the sofa was a glowing feeling of power and the voice seemed to be my own minds voice with an echo effect added in audacity.
God smiled at me and then frowned, and then smiled. It was all very confusing. "So you left an old woman to die last night, Nathan."
"WHAT?"
"That old woman, you kept her outside so long the icecream van's music ripped her ears out, She's outside, no one has cleaned it up yet."
"That's horrible.....I.. feel so responsible."
"All because you don't read the news, Nathan." And that was the moment I got told by God.

"Ok, so what was all this about you on the news then? Why are you back? What's this stupid icecream van nonsense??"

God asked me to sit down so I could settle in for a rollercoaster of a story. But it ended up being pretty short actually.
God spoke, "Satan now owns all of the icecream vans in the world. His icecream van music will kill anyone that hears it for too long. You almost died last night. Which would have been a great tragedy because Nathan, you are The One."
"Like Keanu Reeves?"
"No, Nathan of Crayblock. You are Nathan of Crayblock."
"What does that even mean?"

God was really grumpy that I never read the news. Apparently he had explained everything in a dramatic speech on top of a mountain, everyone was there. He'd contacted all of the worlds media himself!

"Do you even know how many babies Princess Kate has had so far?" God asked me.
"No."
"FOR GODS SAKE NATHAN!"
"Jesus..."
"This story is all kinds of sacrilege." (I have no idea which one of us said that line.. possibly because of the mind voice confusion thing.)
"Basically, Nathan. For years now you have been stuck in a whirlwind of Creative Block. Am I right?"
"God yes. I have had so much trouble creating things, animations and such for so long. My drive for it has hit such a dead end. It's been depressing, it's been tough."
"Yeah, wah wah wah. That is because, all of this time. Your creative energy has been building to create one massive explosion that will wipe out all of the icecream vans in the world!"
"That sounds horrible, why would I want to destroy icecream vans?"
"Because Satan is in all of them."
"Oh man...But I love icecream. And although the icecream in icecream vans is always a bit disappointing, I would never want to destory them all."

I had a dilemma on my hands. Losing icecream vans, or everyone dies forever and Hell rises to Earth.. Hmm

"So, if I do this... If I use this Creative Block power, will I finally get my creative surge back? Will I be able to jump right back into doing what I always loved for so so long?"
God said "NO."

And I decided to save the world anyway, because that's the kind of guy I am. I mean, no more icecream vans and still no creativity but hey. people are alive. Annoying people like that guy in the house behind me with that weird laugh. And that wannabe posh guy and that mum that trips over her kid. Yeah, lots of annoying and horrible people are still alive because of me. And Donald Trump is gonna be president.

Maybe I should have just let the world die with Satan.. uh..

Oh and if you were wondering. The Creative Block mind explosion felt exactly like a brain freeze.


- Nathan


Thursday, November 24, 2016

What year is this?? Who am I?

Why do i's always have to have capital letters?

So I'm here again and it feels odd returning to a blog I created in 2006. A blog I created to write completely fictional news (Which is very big now on the internet by the way) and update nobody about my animation, art and videos.

Well, 2016 has been the year of stepping back from most of my regular creative business. I have been doodling sure, but for the most part it's been 'earning money' and 'experiencing the outside world.' By outside world, I mean this place I am currently living, Western Australia. It is weird to say it.
But I've been here almost 2 years now. Today I was on the bus and some young men behind me started playing some loud Australian Rap Music on their phones or whatever (Not a boom box). So, I've heard Australian Rap Music before and I really enjoy it! But it made me realise, that I'm still not fully comfortable with where I am. I can't switch the TV on without feeling a little like, 'where am I?'. There's nothing wrong with that, but I feel like I am on a very long holiday.

I grew up here in Australia, so you'd think I'd be used to it. But I guess I was never listening to anyone back then... only Del Boy and Damon Albarn. In real life conversation I don't notice it that much. As I say, there is nothing offensive about it to me, it just makes me feel like my feet have never quite touched the ground.
In the UK, while I may have felt more at home with the accents I didn't feel quite at home with the flooded shoes.

I have been posting a lot on instagram since the end of last year when I went to Sydney to watch The Peanuts Movie. A lot of what I post is random pictures or videos of places I've been. One of my favourite places in the world is called Fremantle. I don't care too much about the rest of Perth, Australia but Fremantle feels like it's own place in it's own time. I have a job right in the centre of it. Also it's good to have my family around as well.

No matter whether I have a bad day or a good day I can walk outside and feel this natural relaxed vibe that flows through the town.
In Fremantle they have old style architecture, lots of coffee shops, charity shops, people riding on bikes everywhere, an old prison, a cool market, hippies and an art scene. Plus, almost every week some other crazy event is happening. I've seen random wooden castles appear for a week and then disapear, busker festivals, arts festivals, days where people just draw on the roads with chalk.... Even today I saw a whole road closed off for a charity christmas dinner event. There were dining tables all the way down the street.
Not quite in Fremantle, but I saw that in Perth City they were having a cow month.... ... not sure what that's about. There were Cow banners everywhere. And painted cow sculptures scattered around the city. (A bit like they did with Shaun the Sheep and Paddington in the UK).

Coincidentally a cow jumped off of a boat in Freo, swam to the shore, walked along the railway and eventually was caught (and killed). So much for Cow month! And on Facebook there seems to be two groups I've noticed. One is a group that just lets locals gossip about Fremantle, and the other is a bartering group. It's pretty cool, I personally have nothing to offer, but I've seen fruit exchanged for haircuts and bikes for wine bottles. Pretty cool!
Kind of makes me think of that 'Are you local?' thing from The League of Gentlemen though.

So let's get back to the core point of my writingz. What year is this?? Who am I? Well, it's 2016 and I'm older than i was in 2006. Which is a very important point. I yearn for that year and a few after that. But lives change and we must pitter patter on until death surrounds us and then takes us. Grim I know, but without bringing it up, how can we find happiness? If we don't think about death (In a non depressed way) then how can we appreciate life? So that's what I do. I look at the sun (Because we got that down here in Oz) and I look at the flowers and the smiles and I eat the food.

So that's where joy has been coming from. But if you know me, you'll know that all of my life I have created cartoons and stories. I started drawing comics when I was 10, moved on to animation when I got to highschool... made brilliant videos where I was a fictional detective and animated on a BBC kids show. So at the back of my head is the constant drumming (dr who reference deliberate) to CREATE. I used to animate a lot of cartoons. I'd also take breaks in-between to do fun, lazy live action videos with my friend/s. Well, things have changed a bit now. I'm not sure I have the same energy I had for making improvised live action videos. (I'd love to try again) but I think for now, those times are gone.
The reasons for my decline in doing animations (That i want to make) .. are..

The Internet
Since facebook turned up it really has become a massive part of everyones lives. For goodness sake, it was a huge influence on getting a cartoon character elected president in the US. That is HUGE. It stays avaliable to anyone at any time. It has replaced phones, it has replaced PEOPLE.
Up until now I have decided to avoid getting a smartphone. For a few reasons, but a main one being the fact that I'd be constantly destracted from life. I'd also be more stressed out by my social interactions (or lack of) and the current thundering news.
I've seen posts from friends who live on the other side of the planet reporting something massive just happened next door to them hours before it even hits the news. WHAT IS THIS? It's distracting is what it is. But even without a smartphone I still have my laptop and wifi connected Ipod. Ideally I would not have it.
But we're in an age where it is necassary.......
Look at youtube! They now have videos hours and hours long! When a video ends it fires up the next one in the *list* before you can even breath. These are massive distracting changes.
I know what you're thinking, if it's your passion then these things should not matter right?

Well I love animation, I love drawing my characters and making them do wacky things and say funny things. But getting over the first step of pen to tablet, and setting aside a few hours freaks me out. Also over the years I have become a lot more picky about what I release.

I've entered this horrible place where art wise I either have to be really happy with it or it has to be completely lazy (but still personal).
Because I expect so much quality and detail of my full length animations (On my youtube channel) I get totally freaked out by this massive mountain in front of me.

This is why most recently (If you follow my instagram/facebook) you'll see I mostly only upload doodles and sketches. The expectations don't exist there. I know no one actually has expectations but my mind tells me I do. Plus, the project I most want to produce next is one that weighs so heavily on my shoulders. I want to do a short film based around characters I've had since I was 10. Some of them feel like real people to me.
It's not just all that, I'm also just not happy with my art.... well I kind of am. I  like my own art but I don't trust my characters in MY hands, standing in front of MY backgrounds.

This is why Adam &  Kat exists as both the animation and comic. As well as those Nathan Ruins (Video Games) videos. I love them for their comedyness but I also love them for being pretty easy for ME to work on. Hardly much expectation. Lesmovids puts all the effort in and I just turn up. But creatively, I still feel like I've added something to my creative mind gallery that needs stocking every once in a while.

On a side note, I don't have too much time anymore. Like with any full time job, I feel exhausted by the end of the day.
But I am volunteering in a Perth Art Gallery called Paper Mountain on Sundays. It's relaxing, encouraging creatively and sometimes I'll meet some very kind people. The art scene is great in Perth, I'd go as far as to say there is too much of it. (What?? How can there be too much of ART?)

Well, in the UK, no matter what village you drive to there will always be an old church on a hill. Well in Perth and Fremantle, it's just gallerys. Gallerys everywhere.

So, to conclude, while I am enjoying life as much as I can (and feeling both settled, and hovering above the earth at the same time) all I want to do is bring Tomothy to life. (Tomothy is my character from childhood)

I have plans, i have animatics... i have a bunch of stuff. Tomothy is ready to erupt but life is busy. If i died before Tomothy did get his little animation I would not mind so much. It's still nice to be around. Hey James Berridge!

While writing this blog post, Youtube (Without choice) played a David Bowie Playlist. I suppose the internet is not SO bad... back to Blur now though guys.

(Above picture taken by James Berridge)



- Mr Nathan

On btw my instagram is https://www.instagram.com/thedailycrumb/





Wednesday, June 08, 2016

What is a Tomothy?





















Hello reader.

You may have come across this little post because you were browsing the 'Tomothy Comics Website'. Or maybe I sent it to you as SPAM. Or maybe you clicked the link Katy Perry posted on her Twitter page after I hacked it.


Oh, whoops, I forgot to link it... oh blimey.

Anyway... why am I here? Basically just to give you a little bit of information about how long Tomothy has been around.

I created Tomothy and many of his family/friends when I was about 9 years old. Every day at school, during every break, I'd draw comics in my sketch book. Over the years the characters aged and developed more interesting personalities. Though my jokes were always terrible.

Below are some examples of Tomothy comics from back in the day. I think all of these are actually set before Tom grew up a bit. I'll get some of the early 2000s drawings uploaded soon. 

But two things that you can clearly see from these early strips are the appearance of Tomothy's little sister, Ellie and the excited personality of Yo breaking out.




 

 

 

 




Then, around 2002 I discovered Macromedia Flash, which allowed me to make cartoons MOVE! (Not before I made some stick people bleed.)

I was really excited to bring some of my Tomothy comics and characters to moving pictures. The comics began becoming adapted in Tomothy Live Episode 3

You can watch all 3 episodes below.




I think I got a bit distracted after that, but soon enough I was back on track.
Next up I made Tomothy and Pals Episode 1. This is the only animation I have ever made fully with the LINE tool. This is why it looks the way it does. I have never used it since because it looks ugly to me.

You can watch Tomothy and Pals Episode 1 here (But not on your tablets I'm afraid because it is playable only in Flash Player).


What happened next you ask? why Tomothy and Pals Episode 2 of course! It looks and sounds completely different to the previous episode but why not?
Tomothy and his dad look for jobs? Finding a job has always been an interested concept for my with the Tomothy comics (and life) and that's why I dedicated a bunch of time on it during the 'Summer' theme strips. Again, sorry but it is on Flash Player. A lot of these are....



Then AT SOME POINT along the line I found someone crazy enough to help me make a Tomothy game called FIGHT TO THE SAUSAGE. True story.
Check it out.



Then I got very desperate to win a Christmas Animation Contest on the 'Bitey.com' Brackenwood Forums. The prize was some Bitey artwork by Adam Phillips! It's a bad animation with even worse sound (Believe me, this has the worst sound EVER). But it won the contest and I got the drawings! They are now my precious.

This was my entry, and also my first inclusion of Tom's brother, 'Tadhg'. Though, his design has yet to take shape.

What happened next for Tomothy after his big win? Well I made another christmas short (That's right, Tomothy had 4 Christmas related animations plus Christmas comics). Tomothy really likes Christmas.
In this one I wanted to experiment with simple animated acting and awkward 'Ricky Gervais Style' acting. Watch HERE


I'm not sure when it was, but around this time I guess, I wanted to make comics again! I got that rush to stick Tomothy in some tiny boxes. It was around the time I was constantly working on my webcomic, STARGAZED.
Anyway, 23 Tomothy comics were made but nothing much came of it.
















Tomothy, Ellie and Jerome made a short 'sketch like' cameo appearance in a cartoon I made called 'Munch's War'. They are at 2:05.

Then, for some reason Tomothy's dog sent a message to the British Prime Minister of the time, Gordon Brownies.

Next, it was time to get ambitious!!!!! But instead, I made a 7 minute Tomothy and Pals animation all about Jerome. It was titled, 'You can't handle the knowledge' and as weak as it is story-wise, and visually, I do like it. It has one or two moments I am proud of and I still sing that song today.

Then everything took a DARK TURN














I was in college and felt Tomothy was holding me back. I just wanted to make another stories and characters (That went really badly by the way) and Tomothy had to be gone! I'd keep wanting to do more Tomothy, I felt like I'd never achieved what I wanted to achieve with him. I still have this feeling today.

Anyway, I shot him dead. Well, I got a cuddly bear to do it.



There are actually jokes I really like in this cartoon but overall it was a pretty grim thing to do. Especially to my fictional son. Though one thing I will say for it, it does actually feel like a sequel to 'Knowledge' so at least that is something!.

Tomothy died in 2008. In 2012 he was REBORN. I started up the comics again with some new characters (and old), hoping to have them printed in a newspaper or book. The concept behind the comics felt a lot stronger now. I was to create comics that kids would hopefully enjoy reading, inspired by my school days, I wanted to make the stories and jokes based on relatable childhood moments.
Unfortunately my comics were not good enough for newspapers but interest did spark with a local publisher/magician. After agreeing that he'd publish my book he remembered he was actually a magician and disappeared his own company!

By then, I had done a lot of comics and it had really helped me become comfortable at drawing again. The last strips in the book (The Time Travel and Love Story) feel quite developed. BUT I am developing even further.


So the book went no where and I had loads of comics that had never been read. What happened? Well, they stayed hidden. Most stayed hidden until today actually. 08/06/2016.

But let's backtrack a little. Previous to this website update I did also pitch Tomothy and Pals as a BBC Television Show. It actually had a really positive response! The reply compared the idea to Arthur and they really enjoyed the characters of Yo and Vinnie. Unfortunately, they found Tomothy himself to be a bit of a bore, saying he worked well in comics but not in script.

Yo and Vinnie had been developed quite a lot for this pitch, Yo, actually turned into a GIRL. Yes, you heard, YO is now a girl. One day I will hopefully explain this in some comics, it will be very jokey, But even if I don't, Tomothy died and was reborn so.... There really is no canon here dudes...

I made this animation test I am quite proud of for the pitch. (Though since then I have developed the designs even further). But this WAS the first time the characters had necks.... shh. You were not meant to notice that before.


So I guess that brings us to where we are now. All of the comics are now online to view. I hope chuckles will be had and tears will be..... slurped back up into your eyes.

A few days ago I put Tomothy in a new jumper. This is a massive change, he's worn the same jumper
since about 2000-2001. So I guess it was getting pretty stinky. His new one looks warmer anyway. Hopefully we'll see some new stories with the new designs and characters soon.





















Byeee!

- The Daily Crumb

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

TOP 10 REASONS BUZZFEED EXISTS

TOP 10 REASONS BUZZFEED EXISTS



1. The creator of the website fed a Buzzard too much Buzzard food.
(Buzzard is a type of bird)














2. Cracked.com was just too intelligent for us.
(Because that website has very long paragraphs)














3. Everyone wants to be a Disney Princess.
(Even the manliest of men that kill animals and build walls and eat Nutri Grain want to be a Disney Princess. Question is, which one?)














4. People like lists.
(I like lists, so this must be true)















5. Buzzfeed asks the question 'What kind of Old Person will you be?' But never asks the question, 'What kind of Young Person were you in World War 2?'
(They are actually ageist)













6. Adorable Giraffe Products.
(27 Adorable Giraffe Products You Need In Your Life can be found on Buzzfeed.com. Don't miss out on this amazing opportunity. Below shows someone wearing a Giraffe ring)














7. Stupid, terrible, physical magazines that gossip about celebrities have been replaced by Buzzfeed.
(The ghost of our dead hamster is giving my child the father-son relationship he really needs)




















8. If you click things, Buzzfeed probably gets money.
(This IS the top 10 reasons Buzzfeed exists..)












9. It talks to cool children who know how to speak the lingo.
(It's main website links are titled 'LOL', 'WIN', 'OMG', 'CUTE','FAIL and 'WTF)
(What on giddy earth are they talking about? Bless their little cotton socks)












10. You have interests, you have nostalgia, we have connected culture. And they feed on that. 
(It's your fault for being privileged)



Thanks for listening.


Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Childhood Strikes Back 2015

2015 will certainly be the biggest year for bringing back the stuff I loved as a kid. Unlike some people, my taste in media has pretty much remained exactly the same. I don't feel too insane, I know plenty of people like me. Even grown-ups can appreciate the media they loved as a kid, even if it's not quite as obsessively as I do.

Is bringing back our childhoods a bad idea? Will regurgitating my younger days keep me forever from maturing?

Who cares! (But probably yes)

The trickiest thing to do when bringing something so loved back into the limelight, is getting it right. After all, there is a lot more chance of upset among viewers than a completely new idea with no fan base.

So, have my childhood favourite reboots succeeded in fulfilling my inner 10-year old's expectations?
Unfortunately, a few of them have not been released! But they look promising.

So let's start with the ELEPHANT in the room. It's that one that has taken the whole world by storm. STAR WARS was a huge part of so many peoples childhoods. The universal love has actually become one of those amazing discoveries only the internet can offer. It was not just you playing with your STAR WARS toys who loved the films. It was EVERYONE.
The original trilogy had very human characters, amazing ideas and lots of fun. Oh and lots of toys. My favourite bit was when I learnt Luke had built his own shiny new green lightsaber. That guy was so cool.
I quite liked The Phantom Menace as well. That's all I've got to say about the prequels.


STAR WARS:The Force Awakens is not out yet and so could still be a train wreck. But it has grabbed the exact look and atmosphere that I think every fan was hoping for. Something subtle and surreal in this world that feels so much bigger than our own.
Without the prequels, we'd probably not have something that looks so right. I'm hoping the amazing visuals compliment a good story... else we're in trouble. But looks as if we may be in good hands.

An honourable mention now. The 21st of October this year was celebrated as the day Doc and Marty arrived in Back to the Future II. It was a bit depressing that the day had finally come, but a good day to remember some excellent films. (3 is my favourite... )

While we're talking about big Hollywood films vaguely related to Steven Spielberg, 2015 also brought us Jurassic World! The fourth installment in the Jurassic Park Series and personally my least favourite.
Another one we were all so excited about. Who wasn't inspired by the original? It still stands today as one of the greatest films in history.
Unfortunately 'Safety Not Guaranteed' Director, Colin Tomorrow delivered a bit of a mess of OK and awkward. While Jurassic World has one of the most exciting ENDINGS I've seen, it has messy characters and boring, unrealistic dialogue. I still prefer Jurassic Park 3 to this. Did the film feed the Jurassic Park fan child? No, not really. Chris Pratt was great, but he was no Sam Neill.
Spoilers in this CLIP


While we're talking disappointments, can't forget the recently released PAN. Really, the only reason I say disappointment is because it has not done very well in the critic circuit. Also, my little brother didn't really enjoy it.
Thing is, I really liked it! I will probably be buying it on DVD as well. While I'd say the first half had the better scenes (The nuns and the circus act pirates) it does have some massive problems that can't be ignored. Though, as I mentioned in my full Pan Review, it's probably the best Pan Adaptation we've got since the brilliant, Hook.
As it's kind of the point of the article, did PAN feed the HOOK and Disney's Peter Pan fan child inside? A lil bit. It didn't make me upset at least.
Here is the trailer (Why was this song not in the film? *sigh*)


Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation released this year. The fifth in the series, a series that looked like it might have been dead after movie 2. It's not that special that a new Mission Impossible came out this year, they've been coming out at a good rate for the last few years. But this one felt kind of special to me. The original Mission Impossible film is another for my list of serious favourites from childhood (Obviously not THAT young). But it was certainly up there with Star Wars and Jurassic Park. Out of every Impossible installment, this one felt the MOST like the original. Gritty, dark, spyey, but a lot more funny. Loved it!
Did it win in the fight against the child fan? Yes.

Some other quick mentions before I get onto my TOP 1 and 2 childhood favourites coming back... Even though this is not a TOP 10 list, it's not a TOP anything list.

So these are some that didn't really make much of an impact on me but I do think are important to mention.
Terminator: Genisys, Goosebumps, Spongebob Squarepants (Sponge Out of Water), Batman V Superman....
Oh and can't forget Mad Max: Fury Road (That was awesome)


So really, everything has been MOVIES. Where are all of the music and television shows? Well, none of my personal favourite television shows have come back! But go and check out the new DANGER MOUSE series. It is magnificent. There is also a new Peabody and Sherman series on Netflix I have yet to see. Or you could just go and watch this hilarious parody of Peabody and Sherman instead by my friend, Rob Yulfo.

Now to music.
 I'm not going to go through all of the bands that came back after a long hiatus since childhood.... why would I do that? No, I'll just do one, Blur. Undeniably my favourite band ever. I have no idea why, they've just always made music that I connect with.

I discovered Blur close to the beginning of their.. split I suppose you could call it. I discovered them in 2000 and they released their last album in 2003. While I was super excited for their 2003 Album, Think Tank (And loved it) it was saddening to know that guitarist, Graham Coxon was not involved. Then silence, as Damon Albarn's Gorillaz hit it big.

It was in 2009 that the band got back together to do a few gigs, reliving the old days. But I don't think the scars had healed. Not for a while. I was lucky enough to see them in 2009 at Hyde Park and it was amazing.

We did have a few new tracks come through. Most noticably in 2012 with two songs written for the Olympic Year. At the time we were ecstatic, but looking at what we have now... they could have been better.
Time moved along for us fans as our Blur forum was closed down. All of the band members seemed to be busy with their own things and it looked like we'd probably never have another Blur Album.

Bring on February 2015. An out of the blue press conference broadcast live announcing a new album. Blur: The Magic Whip.
It was a miracle really, for both the band and the fans. In tribute, I even made an animation for them. I'm such a nerd. Anyway, the album was marvelous. And like I hope STAR WARS and THE PEANUTS MOVIE will be, it was kind of exactly what the fans were hoping for.

It's funny with something like that because the fans have SO long to wait and churn up ideas for how it might be and so easily let down. But The Magic Whip was not a let down, it exceeded all expectations. Now let's hope it leads to more!  (Not getting my hopes up)

Two things make Blur's return even more special. I always thought, if Blur were ever to come back, I'd want to be in my home town. Or at least, in the place that I first fell in love with them. Blur came to Perth Australia on July 30th 2015 and I was there. And my animation made it into their official music video for song, I Broadcast.

To top it all, they are releasing a film about the making as well!



Whats next? Only the most important film of 2015!

THE PEANUTS MOVIE (OR The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Peanuts Movie outside of the US)

I've made enough videos on Youtube for you to know that I'm a huge fan of Peanuts. I read it in the paper, I collected the books and watched The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show at 5am when it stopped being on at prime 'Home from School' time.

I've always been inspired by Charles M Schulz's art, character writing and stories. I've not watched every single special broadcast but I have a lot of them on DVD and hope to continue building my collection. I also have many toys, it's RATHER EMBARESSING. What can I do? Nothin. Peanuts has always been perfect for me. When I was a child I related most to the later Snoopy, but these days it's Charlie Brown.

As most of us know, every Peanuts film or television show up until this point has been animated in 2d. Whether that be traditionally, or digitally.

Happiness is a Warm Blanket Charlie Brown was the last special to be released (2011). It had quite a digital look that they had trouble shaking off. Plus it was mainly based around the art style and stories of the earlier years of Peanuts so didn't  really appeal to the mass market.
I still really liked it though, it had that weird pace that only the classic Peanuts could pull off. It was a mix of converting comic punchline to screen and using real child voice actors.

This is something I don't think The Peanuts Movie will have much of. Judging by the trailers, it looks like they've thrown out the comic by comic way of writing screenplays. This is probably for the best, as it will make a more flowing picture with space for real human dialogue.

Stories always came across magnificently in the long running comic strips, but not quite as good in the specials. (They still have that wonderful charm about them that will make them timeless).

Just judging by the trailers, they've taken dialogue and relationships from the strips and just spread them out for the big screen.

Look wise, this film looks beautiful. I'm a bit scared that this will call the end of 2d animated Peanuts films (and so never giving me a job on a film). It's kind of generally bad for 2d all together... but at least it will bring people back to reading the comics and watching the specials.

But FAN WISE, by golly, it looks like a painting. It absolutely brings the comic strips to life in a perfect way.
I've seen a good mixture of slap stick, good dialogue and fun Snoopy scenes so as long as it's all paced out well .. I'm totally on board! (On Snoopy's Kennel).

Unfortunately, the film will be coming out quite a while after the original release here. So this means I'll be seeing Jermy Jans and Chris Stickyman posting their reviews FIRST. So I'll be avoiding them at all costs.

Everything looks right to me. It's amazing that it stills feels like the specials, the TV show and the comics though.. wow.
Also, I don't mind all of the music that has been advertised, but I am hoping for some smoooth Jazz.

Does it go down well with my inner fan child? So far, YES!!!!!!!



Thanks for reading!




Saturday, September 12, 2015

Every Doctor Who related thing I've ever made. I HAVE to stop NOW!

Blummin Biscuits, Doctor Who has taken away many many hours of my creative time. From space travel to regeneration, the show is full to the brim with artistic inspiration.

It's not always a great show as well. In fact, it's gone quite downhill in recent years. But unlike other series it can never really be a case of 'It used to be better'. Because it's always had it's goods and bads. But at the core the magic still stands, for almost 52 years. The mystery man in the blue box, travelling through space and time.

It is no wonder there are so many fan made series being produced online. There are always stories to tell in a world of hardly any rules.

Since I first discovered it I've made many Doctor Who related videos. As my next one is coming out (hopefully) at the end of the week, I thought I'd list them all.

Here is the trailer for the new film!


Let us start at the very beginning.

I'm not sure what year this was made. Possible 2005 or 2006. It's titled Attack of the Quazwoks and is short, has no direction and has ear bleeding sound quality. CAUTION: Just don't watch this one

Click the image for video

I was at a point where I was trying to design my own Doctor. Not realising that my Doctor was pretty much just an alternative Tom Baker. 

As a side note, I was also working on my own webcomic that revolved around a time-travelling toilet. The comic was named Stargazed and the toilet was called the S.T.A.R (Space, Time And Rubbish)
You can read the strip online by clicking below.
Click the image for comic

Next up, my first proper Doctor Who animation. Doctor Who: Paranomax. It stars my Doctor, K9 and a little blue cat called Para Cat. Para Cat would then go on to cameo in Stargazed, Matt Smith 2010 and my film, Cliff and the End of the Rainbow.


I suppose that was the start of making Doctor Who comedy shorts.

Here is an art piece I uploaded at the time of my Tom Bakerish Doctor and an updated Tardis...

This Tardis design would then go on to star in 5 Doctor Who animations. 

First up! Doctor Who Extremely Short Short!!
It's so short you'll blink and you'll miss it. SO DON'T BLINK.
Click image for video


My Doctor also returned for an Audio Play. It was absolutely terrible. I quite like the Tardis Interior and Cyberman I drew for the SWF though. 

Click image for Audio Play

Next up, my Doctor became a bit more commercial. He then starred (Voiced again by Courtney Leacock) in an Apple Advert Parody video. Also my first attempt at an American accent I think.... ha..


It does not stop there! Then was a busy time for this Doctor Who fan. Here is a short live action video I did where David Tennant (The 10th Doctor) is a talking security camera. 


and another where I made a Doctor Who episode in The Sims 2! Which became very popular at the time. I do find it quite funny that the adults are voiced by children. 


2008 NOW!
Catherine Tate was announced as new companion for the Doctor. Of course I had to make a video for this. She was quite a popular comedian in the UK at that point and so seemed an odd choice. As we know though, she ended up being one of the best companions we've had. 


This one always bothers me because I forgot to put the monsters voice actor in the credits. It's also, sadly the LAST appearence of MY Tom Bakerish Doctor. BUT it was the first cartoon to include Woo the wizard! Who will again appear in the new film. 


I love that guy. 

Next up, probably the most popular of all of the Doctor Who shorts I've produced, Matt Smith 2010


It's weird but I feel like it has aged quite well.
I was so excited about Matt Smith as the Doctor. In preparation for animating I'd watched every performance I could find of him. He did not disappoint. 

Next up a collaboration project with Lana Cohen called Dalek in Love. I really like how clear the direction is and how sad it ends. aww



Now for my least favourite animation really. There were some good ideas in there but mainly,  it's ugly, lazy and unfunny. But it was great to get the cameo voice in there of Blogtor Who.


Phew... I told you the list goes on and on and on. Do you need a tea break? 
I do... 
hold on I'll be back in a second.




Okay, I'm back. Now for a slightly odd one. Some of the most popular videos on Youtube are game related. I've always found it quite difficult to try and be apart of that world. Mainly because I'm terrible at games and my interest in them is limited. (Until I managed to find a good enough reason to produce a Sims related animation). I do love The Sims.

Anyway, at this time I'd really been enjoying Minecraft with Lana Cohen. So, we decided to make something short and simple. Really I'd like to have had more Minecraft ... or even more Doctor Who. But it was not to be. Luckily Ireused some of the animation at the beginning in Tardis Not Included. 


Next up, Tardis not Included! I remember the moment I finished this and uploaded it. Was a nice feeling, now 2 years ago! I was very lucky it did well considering it was not about any big event in Doctor Who news. It was just a general comedy short. 


Still very proud of some of the jokes in that one. 

Last of all so far on the list is my little effects short I did with my cousins! Regeneration is such a magical idea, so I really wanted to try it out for real. 



I hope you've enjoyed the nerd overload.

Ta ra!

- The Daily Crumb