Thursday, August 28, 2008

Double Trouble

A home made movie

- The Daily Crumb

Film trailers

Today in the news a tennis teams mascot fell over the net.

Also in the news.
I thought id put some trailers up of some brilliant films i have seen recently.

Children of Men
The main greats about this film are the long busy takes and detailed locations.
Very good.

The League of Gentlemen's Apocalypse
Based on the chaarcters from their bbc series this film is brilliantly written. In a way it is better than the series put together. But in another way... it is the same.
But what ever way we go.
This film shows the characters AS characters and the real world... as us.
Amazingly written and directed, great animated creatures as well. Almost the perfect film for me.
The fact that they collided so many of the same actors in the same locations, and reacting together is amazing.
Dont you just hate the American voice over in the trailer?
You can never beat that music.

One of the friendlist and most lovable films i have ever seen. The life of a plumber as a mockumentary.

A cute and artistic film about friendship and making films!

- The Daily Crumb

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Town

Today in the news a garbage man threw himself into the garbage.
He'd decided to stop living a lie.

I've finished the first draft idea for the next silver screen episode and it is hopefully going to have a good amount of nice locations.
This episode will basically be a chase of characters and locations before the 5th episode.

Keep a' watch

- The Daily Crumb
+ and Princess Artistic the Apple Princess

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Write down your dreams

It isnt an amazing written masterpiece. But it did feel extrememly real.
My thoughts and dreams swept along and I ended up opening my eyes to the inside of an aeroplane. I had been asleep in my seat. At this time i still felt tired, my eyes half open. Then i realised something, i didnt remember going to the airport, doing all of the paper work. I didnt even remember booking the flight.
It all felt so real, i really was sat staring down the hall of the aeroplane. (Keeping in mind i was on 4 of them a month ago so my mind knew exactly how to trick me)
There was a girl with a pony tail sat next to me (i never sat next to someone like that). I turned to her and i think i said, "Where are we going?" What she said is just a blur, but i remember wondering whether this plane was off to Singapore or Perth.
Thinking, i'd only just got off the plane recently, had i been so eager to get back id booked another flight? Well, here i was. So real, so realistic and half asleep (Inside a dream)
As i wrote earlier, i began to convince myself that i really did book the flight with my family by my side.
I remember telling all of this to the girl, she eventually moved a seat away from mine.
The next thing i remember is stepping out of the plane and walking. You can either feel the heat or the cold air when you do that walk, this time i felt cold air on my arms.

Next thing i was in singapore airport. I did not even remember getting my tickets so finding them in my red folder was a surprise.
But unfortunately the number and gate of my flight were not on the board, flight to Perth. I remember one was to Australia, but some place called Mango. Plus it did not say Australia, it said 'Aussie'.

I asked someone about it, from here on it became more of a dream, more of a blur as i maybe drifted off into other thoughts
I remember meeting two men, a fat one and a thin one. The fat one was wearing a colourful shirt and looked very much like John Lassester. The thin one was thin with glasses, with not so exciting clothing.
Beside them was a suitcase, obviously theirs.
It felt very much like i knew the two of them but i dont know their names or who they are. But i spoke to them like i knew them, they said they were heading to Australia as well and their flight was not there.
Some worker walked past who i recognized, i think from either another airport dream id forgotten or last time i was at the real airport.

Then the dream falls into a pit of circling blur as i was woken up.

I never got to Perth.
I fell back to sleep after wakeing up and so when i woke up the second time the flight seemed a long while ago.
I was sure i was on a plane last night, on my way to Perth.

- The Daily Crumb

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Fighting for justice and Invisible Frank's Invisible Biscuit

Today in the news a magician was arrested for pulling his own head off and the filling his insides with gallons of coca-cola. He then asked a volunteer to pour a bowl of melted icecream down the hatch.
After all of this he placed his head back on and shook. "Bring back vanilla coke": The mime said at the time.
The town centre he stood in was covered in blood and he did eventually die in a glass cell later on of blood loss. Also in the cell was a mime working out where he was which is a rather interesting story in itself.
"After hours of feeling the walls i am sure i am in a glass box." We spoke to an officer in the station a little earlier on, "We arrested this soul for dressing up as a stereotypical burgualar. Oh i am sorry, suddenly the Pink Panther theme tune has gotten lodged in my skull."

More on that story on page 312 beside the comic strips.

Invisible Frank meets Benjamin

Benjamin Biscuitboy was making a cooling mixture with the help of some apples on the side. Princess Artistic had worked all day and was trying to get her head over how she died and came back to life since the first story.
The wooden door of the basement knocked.
Benjamin stood silent staring at the wood, waiting for something. Suddenly the circular speaker on the wall buzzed, "Hello? This is Queen get your head out of the clouds! i demand an explanation for Mr. Frank's invisible biscuit!"
Invisible Frank crashed through the door ready to shake someones hand. "Invisible Frank," he said.
Artistic woke with the bang and ran into the basement. "You dont look invisible."
"It is just a name," Invisible Frank frowned, "Passed down by family, maybe one of my grandparents were invisible. Who knows? I'M HERE TO MAKE A COMPLAINT!"
Benjamin fell backwards causing a pan to fall and clash onto the stone. "About?"
"I ordered a biscuit from your website, And it came in a package today and guess what? IT WAS INVISIBLE!!? EXPLAIN THAT!"
Princess Artistic turned to Benjamin hoping for a reason.
"I cannot explain it... how do you know it is even there if it is invisible Mr. Frank?" Benjamin asked politely.
Mr. Frank Invisible smiled suddenly, "I took it up to Mt. C-c-c-COLD and held it up in the blowing snow, there i saw the shape of the biscuit in the wind. Plus it has a weight."
Princess Artistic was reading a large book in the background, "Frank, i must let you know this. It says in the Kingdom history books the Invisible family were cursed to turn things they held invisible. The curse appears at your age in life."

The basement went silent apart from the Queens crackly breathing whilst she listening in. "NOPE! That is not it!" Benjamin Biscuit broke into the silence. "You said it arrived invisible, before you even touched it."
"Oh yes."
"I dont see what he is complaing about, if its got weight its going to taste just the same," Princess Artistic mumbled.
"Shh," Benjamin said smiling, "The thing is Frank Invisible. We dont actually have a website called I think you were ripped off into buying an invisible biscuit!"
"Hazah for Benjamin Biscuitboy!" Frank squeeled.
He turned away smiling, "Goodbye you fellows, and thankyou for your service!" The moment he touched the door knob the whole door turned invisible. He then disapeared up the stairs.
"Thats going to be a problem," Artistic muttered. "Well Benjamin! You saved the day once again! Who would have thought he was ripped off by some no-bodies."
"Well, he was! I just didnt package anything into the box! I had to make that little story up about not having a website. But we do actually. I put a toad in the box, that is probably what the shape that formed was. Wonder why he didnt think it was an odd shaped biscuit?" Benjamin giggled, "It was a one off joke! Didnt think anyone would notice."

Queen get your head out of the clouds spoke. "You do know jokes are illegal in my kingdom."
"Yes... miss."
"That was not a question."
"It sounded like one."
Princess Artistic spoke, "Are you talking to me?"
"No.. there are some guards with me at the moment, hold on. Yes, go down there and chop his head off. Good. Fine, fantastic!"

The room shrunk around Benjamin as he shook in fear, "Oh golly gosh. I forgot jokes were illegal now!"
Princess Artistic felt tears fall down her cheek. "What are we going to do?"

And the guards stormed down the steps. Running for Benjamin in the basement, staring at him. Eye to eye.
And then they all crashed at a fast pase into the invisible closed door.
They collapsed backwards as a huge pile of crumpled up guards. Soon the armour went quiet.
One guard pulled himself up and started moving his hand around the invisible wall he just shot into. He could not understand it.

Benjamin and Princess Artistic giggled and continued making biscuits.

- The Daily Crumb

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Apple Biscuits

Inside the mug of warm mud Benjamin Biscuitboy had placed a delightful worm. It wriggled into the thick soil and eventually melted in the heat.
He giggled!
He then grabbed a black texta from a box beside him and began drawing lines on his arms and face.
Suddenly the circular speaker on the wall shuddered. Queen get your head out of the clouds screamed through. "Biscuit boy! Biscuits! NOW!"
This is the story of Benjamin Biscuitboy
He put the texta down and walked over to the wall. The wall was showered in wooden shelves, on every shelf was a medium sized barrel. Inside each barrel were one hundred hand made biscuits.
He picked up the barrel and then made for the stone stairs up to the main room.

"You were so slow biscuit boy. Your title does not even deserve capital letters, or to be spoken. Thy fathers would look down on you and say that those biscuits were bare. Where is the variety? They would say, maybe you had no heart in your trade."
The Queen sat on a high throne speaking down to Benjamin.
"My love is not in making biscuits your majesty."
She dribbled. "Well hand me the barrel and i will judge whether you will keep your head."
He handed her the barrel of biscuits. She picked one out, stared at it and then threw it into her mouth. She shook her head.

Princess Artistic came in urgently from a side door. "Benjamin! You can make apple biscuits!"
Queen get your head out of the clouds shuddered. "What is the meaning of this? OFF WITH THE BISCUIT BOYS HEAD!"
The guards grabbed Benjamin and pulled him backwards.
"Wait, NO!" screamed Princess Artistic. She ran over to the Queen and asked her to place a nice piece of apple on top of a biscuit.
The Queen did this and then swallowed another biscuit. She suddenly smiled.
This lightened up the room, the Princess may have just saved the biscuit boys life.
The Queen mumbled and then said, "Thats it, i have made my decision."
Benjamin was almost sure this would mean he could be released.
"Yes, my decision is this. Princess Artistic will be the new biscuit boy! ON WITH YOUR WORK EVERYONE! Daughter, go down to the cellar, burn that old boys stuff and set up work. I want three barrels of APPLE BISCUITS by sundown or you will be for the slice."
"But you cannot kill a Princess!"
"I can when she is a biscuit boy! NOW GO! GET OUT OF MY EYE LINE YOU FILTHY SMALL PEOPLE!"

Benjamin did not have his head chopped off. Instead he was given a new job, sitting in the oven with the biscuits.
Whilst both Princess Artistic and Benjamin worked together, they became better friends. Both of them worked hard to produce brilliant Apple Biscuits.
Soon, the Queen was not enough.
Soon they were asked to produce biscuits for the whole kingdom. They worked harder and harder until finally, the whole kingdom was BUILT BY BISCUITS.

- The Daily Crumb

Monday, August 18, 2008

RIP Toby Fruitcake Johnson

Toby Fruitcake Johnson, the only marble that didnt roll down the road and splash into a river. Young Swat McFerguson was a cat boy who loved collecting different marbles, small and large, clear or magic. He had his large jar on the front of his bike, held there by his chin and the handle bars. But unfortunately the jar slipped from under his chin and exploded on the road below him firing the marbles down the street.

He stood over the broken crackly glass noticing one marble was left, a yellowy glass ball. "I think i'll call you Toby Fruitcake Johnson. You are 'the one that lived.
He cared for Toby so much, he made him a little cardboard home and even poured him glasses of water.

As time went by young Swat became old Swat and could no longer stand on his old legs. He held himself up by a walking stick at all times.

One day he stepped on the cardboard house accidently and slipped on the marble. He fell backwards and died as soon as he hit the ground.

It was a sad day of course. Toby Fruitcake Johnson was arrested for murder, sentanced for life.

In jail he was given a shared cell with an axe murderer.

Toby got through a few days but was soon cracked to pieces against the stone walls of the cell by the violent murderer.

This is in memory of Toby Fruitcake Johnson
The boy that lived

Happy 100th Birthday Animation!

Lets see another one hundred years!

-The Daily Crumb

I loved the story in this animation.
Directed by Hugh Harman

Peace on Earth (Thanks Esn)

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Berry Blue Fish

Berry Blue Fish was walking down the street, leaving puddles of water behind him. He went to the card shop and asked for a set of cards.
"What kind of cards?"
"The best you have."
"Alot of them are in good condition. What price range are you looking for?"
"Just the rangt lo;hmfm


Berry Blue Fish ran out of ink and collapsed onto the card shop desk in front of the old woman. She screamed as the fish then fell onto the floor and stopped breathing.

The funeral is tommorow afternoon

Mcdonalds drive through

Bleep Bloop, Bleep Bloop. Hello madam, what would you like?
Why do you say madam without knowing if i'm male or female?
Only women go in the drive-through
What? That isnt true at all
I know. HAHAH, ok sir, what would you like?
A Double Quarter Pounder with cheese please.
Meal or on it's own?
On it's meal.
What for mate?
Would you like that as a meal or by itself?
By itself as a meal.
So you want a meal?
A Double Quarter Pounder with cheese
As a meal?
Thankyou sir. Small, medium or large?
Small medium and large.
You want three meals?
No, are you trying to get me to pay more or what?
No... small medium or large?
Yes please. A Double Quarter Pounder with cheese
Ok. I'll give you a medium.
I want a large thanks
Ok, large it is, what drink do you want with that?
No, medium drink if you can do that. Large chips, medium drink.
Ok.. wait, just typing that in.... ok what type of drink?
You already asked that.
Yes, but you did not give me an answer.
Then you're doing fine.
Is this because i called you a woman sir?
Ok, could you reverse sir?
I've just been given orders to tell you to reverse.
Arghh! I've driven into the car behind me now.
Oi you!


-The Daily Crumb
Would you have a look at his?
The old and historic Munchmedia Forum

Sir. Coal Muffin to be killed.

Jibble Imp feet for thee Shay
Sir. Coal Muffin was emptying a bucket of water into a large barrel. "I do this job because i am forced too, they pay me in golden coins. The trouble is, i cannot spend the money because they lock me back up in the dungeons."

One morning Queen get your head out of the clouds asked Sir. Coal Muffin to explore the caves below the kingdom. Sir. Coal Muffin was happy to do this for freedom of the dungeon. The Queen was not pleased and asked Archer Archer to burn Coal.

Archer Archer made the mistake of telling Princess Artistic who was sat by the grounds apple tree all about the plan to kill Sir. Coal Muffin. Benjamin Biscuitboy sat close eating some of his biscuits in a barrel.

Artistic loved and adored Muffin just like a father, well, he was her father. But her mother, Queen get your head out of the clouds shunned poor Coal Muffin into the dungeons. He was only ever released when a job was to be done around the kingdom.

One night Benjamin Biscuitboy brought to the dungeon doors a tray with a juicy red apple sat on it. Gillian Guard opened the metal door and let Biscuitboy put the tray on the stone ground.
As soon as everyone had departed the small red apple transformed into the wonderous Princess Artistic the apple princess.
Sir. Coal Muffin was overjoyed. The both of them slid through the bars of the high window and ran off into the night to start a new life as Father and Daughter.

Benjamin Biscuitboy did not speak of the escape although he was the last one to see Coal. Soon he was threatened, a blade to his throat.

Gillian Guard bought some flowers for Queen get your head out of the clouds.
Benjamin never said a word.

- The Daily Crumb

The Apple Princess

Twose Thrivin Gull Maroota Junscivan Balloon
Today in the news Prince Mud and Princess Artistic went for a walk around the grounds. The mother of young Artistic was not happy with this. Queen get your head out of the clouds was fuming with anger and hired Archer Archer to shoot down Prince Mud.
Archer Archer was rather astonished at these remarkable commands as he had grown to love Princess Artistic in the time he had worked in the kingdom.

The next glorious morning a torn up parchment was found by Mud's dorm. Prince Mud read it, apparently some ripe apples had grown and fallen in the grounds.
This was perfect as a gift for the wonderous Princess Artistic. Prince Mud made his way to the centre-field apple tree only to find another note. He picked it up and read, "Smile for me." Prince Mud was rather dumb but a heroic character, a sportsman and rescuer. He smiled.
An arrow shot through the centre of his forehead and exploded out of the back sticking into the bark of the apple tree.
Queen get your head out of the clouds patted the young Archer Archer on the head and resumed her daily sleeping.

Princess Artistic was most distressed at the death of her Prince. She began to eat hundreds of apples a day, soon thousands.
The Queen watched as every day her daughter turned into a giant, red apple. Tears fell down her face as she hugged the hard fruit surface of Princess Artistic. "I am so sorry, i did not mean to kill your Prince."

The apple obviously still had thoughts, and sucked her mother inside. Queen get your head out of the clouds awoke inside a giant seed, and then suffocated violently.
Artistic was finally happy, she hopped up and sat on top of the apple tree staring at the stars. Eventually the tree was not strong enough to hold up the giant red apple princess and snapped. The apple fell and exploded into hundreds of juice and skin pieces all over the grounds.

The next day Archer Archer and his team of warriors:
Benjamin Swordsman
Lucy McLucyfan fan fighter
Toadstool Asoldierscomfort
and Brannigan Biscuitboy.
found the giant apple pieces and used them to slide down high grass hills. They all lived happily ever after.
and Toadstool Asoliderscomfort was elected the new Queen (being the closest relation)

- The Daily Crumb

Thursday, August 14, 2008

You Can't Handle the Knowledge

Today in the news i thought id embed this film which is probably now classed as old.
It is hard to hope and believe i'll be able to put that much detail into a future project and still make it look average.
Well, we'll see.
Tomothy and Pals
You Can't Handle the Knowledge

Watch more cool animation and creative cartoons at aniBoom
I watched Son of Rambow recently on the plane, it's a good film and i have decided to buy it. I recommend renting it out.

- The Daily Crumb

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

RMN COPZ final scenes located on Plymouth Hoe.

Today in the news thousands gathered around to watch the filming of the final scenes of the latest RMN COPZ episode which was released today.
They stood around, held back by barriers and security as Jake, Nathan and Matt starred in an emotional ending.
The scenes were filmed at the Plymouth Hoe amongst thousands of onlookers. Although some parts of filming were covered by large umbrellas so nothing was ruined.

We all remember when the two goth kids got parts in the cartoon series by waiting in the longest line Matthew Menhenick had ever seen.
As the series goes on the storylines have a larger impact on the Plymouth community and more people want to get involved.
The film makers did well to avoid anyone getting into the backgrounds and interupting the story.

Well, except one person

"Finally a famous series produced in the town of Plymouth, us folks are very pleased about this. Maybe now we'll be put back onto the map because at the moment we'd been whited out."
- Mayor of Plymouth.
"I'm hoping, if they are looking for a new person to play the mayor, that i will be asked or excepted. It sure would be a thrill."
"I was walking down the street yesterday, and even though i look nothing like the RMN COPZ mayor some children were asking for my autograph. I was rather pleased and it made me want to actually be in the television series."
- Mayor of Plymouth.

The episode was broadcast today and i do agree that the final scenes are very emotional and the public are going to love it.
If this episode is as famous by itself imagine what the last episode in the series is going to do. The sound recorder who was aged 6 was thrown into Plymouth sound after the final scenes were recorded.
He lived to see that he was fired unfortunately.

RMN COPZ has used the shop JAKES for alot of episodes and based a character around it, after the owner 'Gary' complained that they'd made him look fat they decided to make this emotional episode.
Gary was pleased with the result.
"I really did enjoy this episode, and finally i am pleased to say my company is in a huge Plymouth series."
The police station, hospital are mostly built sets but the alleyways and parks are all part of the Plymouth atmosphere.
Keep up the good work RMN COPZ Team.

The episode came out to today, episode 8

- The Daily Crumb

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

The Golden Star Pub Sundays

The Golden Star Pub Sundays has finally released information on the upcoming events.

Sunday 17th August:

That is all.

The Daily Crumb is writing a messege.

'Maggots in Gravy the toasted and sealed beef and chicken roast factory' released some news today.
They said they would no longer be giving away cheap meat slabs in packets with fillings of cold gravy. They have swapped to broken (recycled) plastic boxes to fill the mush up inside. This means, when you order from a 'Maggots in Gravy' vending machine your sealed meal may well be dribbling out of the box.

The prime minister had a few words to say about this.
Unfortunatly we did not record any of them.
So we've made it up.
The PM: "I hate that factory, my mother cut her fingers on the broken plastic of her sealed meal. What kind of service are we paying for in our vending machines? I've eaten three roast dinners with pieces of sharp plastic stuck in my potatoes. It is horrible and bad."
"It is horrible and bad."
We only quote the important bits.

We went to the offices of the factory today and knocked on the large metal door.
We heard a tiny voice, "Who is it?"
"We're not journalists."
So we were allowed in. Of course, when i say we, i mean me. Because the rest of The Daily Crumb are dead at the moment.
Inside we met the cheif of the industry Sir Beatleshot Berkunsphere. We added the 'Sir'.
He said, "I've just bought Son of Rambow the film on Amazon and i'm not sure when it is going to get here."
I told him to stay positive and everything would be fine.
He was happy and gave me a free plastic box of crushed up roast beef and a fork. When i attempted to pull off the lid it snapped in two firing a sharp piece of plastic into Beatleshots eye. I watched as the man bled on the ground.
Some tiny men stood around me mumbling a tune.

I left there hoping to meet Sir Smellalot. But he never met me to exchange articles.
Nathan is once alone again.

Then suddenly, over the hill Sir Smellalot appeared. "MY GOD, ITS SIR SMELLALOT! THE GREATEST SWORDSMAN IN THE LAND!"
I was overjoyed but he just passed me, didnt even notice me.

- The Daily Crumb

Sunday, August 10, 2008

I was bored

aujourd'hui dans les nouvelles

Wonka's Bucket and the Charlie Factory


The Coloured Space Game Official

Now written for you to understand.
you can download the rules as a pdf here

Or read them below:

The Coloured Space Game

Number of Players: 2+ (including 1 person taking scores)

Starting position:

Both players get a *made-up* stack of 10 boards.

For each player that's playing, they get:

10/10 boards

0/10 snizzle and whip points

2 x Corner the Greens "1's"

1 x Corner the Greens "2's"

(1's and 2's will be explained later)


The winner is the player that gets rid of all of their opponents other boards.

Play continues until only one player is left.


The first turn both players must "stack their boards".

After that you can do one of the following:

· Use a "Corner the Greens 1" (explained below)

· Use a "Corner the Greens 2" (explained below)

· Use a “Corner the Greens 3” (explained below)

· Use “Snizzle and Whip”: This adds a snizzle and whip point to your opponents score. Once their number gets to 10/10 points you automatically win the game.

Explanation of Corner the Greens "1's" and "2's"

1's and 2's are used to either add boards to your stack or take away snizzle and whip points.

To use to it you have to say, “Corner the Greens (Boards/Points) 1.” (2 or 3)

1 adds one board to your stack.

2 adds two boards to your stack.

You only have two "1's" to use and one "2" so be careful where you use them. (Also, keep count on the score sheet of each player’s 1 and 2’s.)

For example:

Corner the Greens (Boards) 1 = I don't take one from the opponent but I add one board to my own stack.

Corner the Greens (Points) 1 = I don't give a point to the opponent but I discard a point from my own stats.

1 and 2 are very useful when running low on boards, or too high on ‘snizzle and whip’ points.

Explanation of Corner the Greens "3”

This is the big one, when you ‘Corner the Greens 3’ you take a board away from your opponent.

Example: (Their score)

10/10 boards

‘I Corner the Greens 3’

9/10 boards

Once this gets to 0 you win.

Recap of Corner the Greens.

1: Add one board or remove one point from your score (Can only be done twice)

2: Add two boards or remove two points from your score (Can only be done once)

3: Takes away one of your opponent’s boards)

Example start

I have elected Player 1 as the score taker.
The taking of boards will just be called "Corner the Greens" and the giving of points "Snizzle and Whip".

P1: I'll take the scores for this game.
P2: Very well.
P1: I've stacked my boards.
P2: I've stacked my boards.
P1: P1's name: 10/10 boards

0/10 Points

P2's name: 10/10 boards

0/10 Points

P1: Corner the Greens 3

P2: Snizzle and Whip 3

In this case, P1 has taken 1 board from P2 whereas P2 has given 1 snizzle and whip point to P1.

P1: P1's name: 10/10 boards

1/10 Points

P2's name: 9/10 boards
0/10 Points

P1: Corner the Greens (Points) -1
P2: Corner the Greens (Boards) 1

now in this case; P1 has discarded 1 point, whereas P2 has regained a board.
They both have lost a Corner the Greens 1. (1/2)

P1: P1's name: 10/10 boards

0/10 Points

1/2 1's

P2's name: 10/10 boards

0/10 Points

1/2 1's

Additional rules

· You must stack your boards before you select to take or add any points or boards.

· You cannot have more than 10 boards, or less than 0 points.

Created By Nathan of ‘The Daily Crumb’

Adapted in second writing by Timothy Bull

Game created by Nathan Viney

- The Daily Crumb

Saturday, August 09, 2008

Episode 10 of Edible Castle STOLEN!

The big news in the interweb universe today is rather big. And it smells like cheese.
Thats right, as it says in the title, i dont have to spell it out.
E d i b l e C a s t l e e p i s o d e 1 0 h a s b e e n s t o l e n!

The creators Will Arbuckle and Andy Dennis had this to say,
"I came into the Edible Castle office today arm in arm with good ol Andy Dennis. We were really excited about submitting the 9th episode of The Edible Castle today and the final episode of Edible Castle tomorrow. This 10th episode was going to mark the end of the 1st series of these cartoons and like I said a week ago, it was going to be a very special episode indeed. But our joy soon turned to horror as we found a note left on our desk"
The note was left by none other than the castle wizard.
This is the note the wizard left the artists

(Click to zoom)
I was totally shocked as i am sure Arbuckle and Dennis are at this moment in time.
I cannot really say anything else other than PLEASE help them find it.
The episode apparently had alot of talent contributed to it.
Those involved in making the cartoon were Tom Fulp (Newgrounds), The Swain (Blockhead), Mike Parker (College University), Ego Raptor (Awesome Series), Chase Suddarth (Tomorrow's Nobodies), Dim (SuperFlashBros), Lazy Muffin (Nameless), Will and Andy.

There is a way you can help them out, plus there are prizes to be won. So GET INTO IT BOGOS BLEETAMUS.

"We're so keen on getting the episode back we're also issuing a small reward which includes:

- an Edible Castle shop item
- a 15 page Edible Castle sticker book
- a Newgrounds T-shirt
- Newgrounds stickers
- a Newgrounds AngryFaic key-chain
- the chance to both be in and voice act in an Edible Castle cartoon
- a collaborative piece of artwork by me and Andy
- and a 2 pence sterling coin (it's probably worth like $2000 or something, I'm not sure what the exchange rate is at the mo)

Knowing the Wizards sloppy, slap dash ways I'm sure he'll have left a clue around somewhere. And like the king said at the end of the 8th episode, he's been posting rather strange messages on the Edible Castle Kingdom Blog over at our website.

Let's hope one of you lot can find this episode asap! We really appreciate your help with this. Oh and don't forget to check out today's episode!

Cheers guys,
-Will and Andy"

Help a duo out.

Now start looking for clues.
They suggested going to the Edible Castle Blog where the wizard had been posting rather random material.
This is serious buisness.

This was the last time he was seen. The photos were taken by a Cheesearian Photographer who thought the wizard had nice eyelashes.

- The Daily Crumb

Thursday, August 07, 2008

The Coloured Space Game

This game requires one of 2 players (or more) to keep track of the score on a document. The design of the score counter can be seen throughout this article. The image above is not what the score sheet would look like.

The Coloured Space Game
...has been a game used in boring conversations since before conversations even got boring. Basically whilst chatting to a friend of yours you can begin to start and wonder if they'll catch on.
First you have to stack the coloured square boards.
'I've just stacked my coloured space boards.'
Your opponent must then stack theirs as well. This can be done without any real eye contact as well.
So that is your beginning line, 'I've just stacked my coloured space boards.'

Then it is your opponents turn.
They can either choose to
'Break into a bottle of lemon snizzle and whip alcohol.'
or 'Corner the greens'
Both of these have different tables.
This is Corner the Greens:


If your oponent crosses out more than 2/4 circles you have to take one board off of the stack.
'I've taken my board off of the stack.'
You may wonder what
'Break into a bottle of lemon snizzle and whip alcohol.'
it is PLUS points.
Once you have sent TEN of these you will BEAT your opponent in one go. Every single board in the stack has to go. But of course it works the other way around, if they give you TEN boom you're gone and they win.

so, you have to choose between taking boards one by one (Corner the greens) or adding up snizzle and whip points.

Have fun not understanding what i mean!

IF YOU'RE LOW ON BOARDS CORNER THE GREENS ONE AND YOU CAN ADD ONE BOARD BACK ON BUT YOU CAN ONLY DO THIS TWICE. Corner a Green 2 can give you 2 new boards but this move can only be used once.
ONE AND TWO CAN ALSO REMOVE SNIZZLE AND WHIP POINTS FROM YOU but under the same conditions as above.

Step 1: Stack your boards "I've just stacked my coloured space boards."
Step 2: Choose from the 2
'Break into a bottle of lemon snizzle and whip alcohol.'
or 'Corner the greens'

person 1: I've just stacked my coloured space boards
person 2: I've just stacked my coloured space boards
person 1: (Each person has a STACK of 10 boards. person 1 has now got to choose between
''Corner the greens'' (more on this below) which (if crossing out 3-4 circles takes away one board from your stack 9/10 or 'Break into a bottle of lemon snizzle and whip alcohol which adds a point to your opponents snizzle and whip counter.
Basically the loser is the first person to lose every board in their stack.
person 1 says:
Break into a bottle of lemon snizzle and whip alcohol
Person 2 then adds a point on the (example: 1/10) on the snizzle and whip counter but dosent have to get rid of a board unlike the powerful Corner the Greens.
A written down game counter should begin like this
10/10 boards in stack
0/10 snizzle and whip points against you
You add snizzle points and you take away boards.
Person 2: Corner the Greens
Now person 2 has to choose whether to cross 1-2 circles out (1 adds one board to his stack but can only be used twice, greens 2 adds 2 new boards but can only be used once. or crossing 3-4 circles out meaning person 1 has to remove one board from his 10. Person 1 takes away a board from his stack.

At this point person 1 has 9/10 boards in his stack and person 2 has 10/10. But due to snizzle and whip person 2 has one point taken away from the counter meaning both are as close to the end as eachother.
At this point:
person 1
9/10 boards in stack (Took a way a board when person 2 did the 'Corner the Greens 4' move)
0/10 snizzle and whip points against you

person 2
10/10 boards in stack
1/10 snizzle and whip points against you
(Added a point when person 1 did the 'snizzle and whip alcohol' move)


'Break into a bottle of lemon snizzle and whip alcohol.'
8/10 boards in stack
3/10 snizzle and whip points against me (Added 1)

I corner the greens 3


7/10 boards in stack (ive just taken one away)
2/10 snizzle and whip points against you
i corner the greens 4
7/10 boards in stack (we're even now :O )
3/10 snizzle and whip points against me

I 'Break into a bottle of lemon snizzle and whip alcohol.'

you: (Your results)
7/10 boards in stack
3/10 snizzle and whip points against you (added yours)
'Break into a bottle of lemon snizzle and whip alcohol.'
7/10 boards in stack
4/10 snizzle and whip points against me (added 1)

I corner the greens 4

you: (Your results)
6/10 boards in stack (got rid of one)
3/10 snizzle and whip points against you

Corner a Green 2 can give you 2 new boards but this move can only be used once.
ONE AND TWO CAN ALSO REMOVE SNIZZLE AND WHIP POINTS FROM YOU but under the same conditions as above.
Corner the Greens
1 = add one board (can only be done twice)
2 = adds two new boards (can only be done once)
3 - 4 = take their board away

+ and -

- boards: 6
/10 boards in stack
+ points: 3/10 snizzle and whip points against you


10/10 boards in stack
0/10 snizzle and whip points

Mrs. Xray
10/10 boards in
0/10 snizzle and whip points

If you get bored of saying
'Break into a bottle of lemon snizzle and whip alcohol.' why dont you try out making things up, its inventive and fun.

Another example of a game:

nathan: i corner the green 2 for boards
4/10 boards in stack
2/10 snizzle and whip points

8/10 boards in stack
9/10 snizzle and whip points
X: i corner the green 4
Nathan: i corner the green 3
3/10 boards in stack
2/10 snizzle and whip points

7/10 boards in stack
9/10 snizzle and whip points

Ok, so the aim of the game is to either
get rid of your opponets boards
or shoot them down by adding up their snizzle and whip points.
its that easy

- The Daily Crumb

Monday, August 04, 2008



A circular beam of flashing light moved across the floor criss-crossing other lights and moving bodies. Benjamin Jerriko had turned eighteen only a few hours earlier and was now glugging down pints of alcohol amongst three hundred and fourteen teenagers.

It was a large hall, booked out for a night of loud music, small talk and drinking. Faces appeared and then morphed into shadows as the disco lights shot past their thunderous expressions. They laughed and vomited, some spent their time outside and others danced embarrassingly. It was girls and boys, conversation, dancing, lounging, drinking, smoking and talking like they’ve been friends for years. Benjamin was in this position, acting a fool for his audience who won’t remember it in the morning.

The doors were wide open around the beaming hall. Youngsters would walk in and walk out; only around sixty guests were actually ‘invited’ to join the celebration. The others were friends of friends and trespassers.

And then there was Mr. Mood. A man who, like hundreds more was not invited. He wore a dark black hat and sunglasses that hid his eyes behind dim lenses. Even the disco lights could not break through to reach the reflection of his pupils. He was watching the motions of the teenagers, wondering if their tiny brains could get any smaller. Maybe their brains had already disappeared; maybe they were just party going zombies. A girl with dark brown hair smooth but curled at the ends handed Benjamin a small piece of paper. She shouted something, but under the volume of the stereo playing even shouting couldn’t be heard more than a metre away.

“Hey, are you going to join in the party mate?” Mr. Mood had watched the girl walk back into the wall of dancing scum and not noticed Benjamin was talking to him. “I just got that girls number!” There it was, talking to him like they’d met before. What else was there to do but reply to the boy, “Yeah dude. Well cool.” Mr. Mood’s deep voice bellowed in the music. Benjamin stood without expression for a while, and then laughed. “My parties always rock!”

“So, what was the girl’s name?” Mr. Mood faked a smile.

“Not sure man. Anyway, enjoy the beer!” Benjamin disappeared as a disco light shot past him.

Mr. Mood was frowning under the sunglasses; he was frowning most of the time. He always kept his eyes hidden. If they knew of his hatred he’d be kicked out, but now was the right time. He’d decided, finally on his victim.

He felt the cold breeze fall upon him as he stepped outside. The street was packed with students wondering around looking for their brains, shaking bottles for attention.

Benjamin was lighting a cigarette by a fence whilst chatting up another girl. Mr. Mood casually stepped over the wet grass towards him. “You’re greedy aren’t you?”

The damp grass was covered with tiny white sparkles in the night. “How do you mean?” Benjamin replied. “Hey dude! I saw you inside, what’s your name?” Ben was happy to see the stranger.

“Don’t change the subject, why are you changing the subject?” Mr. Mood’s eyes hidden under the lenses. Ben’s smile disappeared; he was either lost in an empty head or thinking up a way to beat up Mr. Mood. “I don’t... know what you mean? I’m greedy?” Ben was confused.

“You got a girls number earlier, now you’re getting another one?” Mr. Mood turned to the blond girl that was standing next to Ben. “How do you feel about that?” The girl shrugged. He should have known, he was the only sane one at the party.

“What? Are you from the olden days mate? Get lost!” Benjamin dropped his cigarette to the ground and stepped down grinding it into the grass. Mr. Mood smiled, “Why not specify a year?”

“Ok... two thousand and get the hell out of my party!” Benjamin started giggling to himself, the blond girl joined in. Under the lenses Mr. Mood’s eyes flickered from the two. “I won’t stand too close. I might catch ‘dim’.”

Benjamin was once again silent, and then he began to roll up his sleeves. “Get the hell off my party!”

“‘Off’ doesn’t make much sense, a party is not an object unless I was standing on top of a mosh pit.” Mr. Mood stared down at his feet, “Which I’m not.”

Benjamin blinked and Mr. Mood had disappeared, no man stood in front of him. “Did you see where he went?” He had turned to the blond girl who was shaking her head.

“I’m behind you.” Mr. Mood grabbed Benjamin by the neck and pulled him swiftly over the fence. The girl screamed as the violent character was invisible in the dark. Ben’s head hit the gravel on the other side of the fence as Mr. Mood let him go. “Benjamin.” Mood’s voice was slow and unhurried. Ben could see two hands covered by black gloves hovering over his face. He screamed and shook his body trying to reach out. Mr. Mood was holding him down heavy watching his victim shake violently. “I thought an eighteenth was meant to be special.” Mood was speaking quietly now, the music in the hall sounded dim out here. “But you’ve had a party exactly the same as this for... what is it? Months... underage as well, like many of your guests today. Maybe I should kill them as well.”

“Are you the cops?” Benjamin squealed.

“God, have you ever met a policeman that said he’d kill people? You are the perfect victim; you are the human stereotype of all these people, their leader. The HOST of the party.” Mr. Mood pulled a knife from the dark and held it flickering in the moonlight over Ben’s face. “What is it with you people following the terrible trends of music, beat rap and pop? Why can’t you expand to the beauties of classical and rock? You can dance to any of them but you all prefer the upbeat excrement that is rap music. This is what it does to you.”

The knife slid into Ben’s ear leisurely as a glove muffled his screams. “Oh I’m being pointless Benjamin. Here’s the next bit. There has to be over three hundred people here, you could hardly know ALL of them. Surely not, oh no. But you let them roam around anyway. No, don’t speak, meeting new people huh? Why the hell would you want to meet new people? People destroy! You destroy Benjamin; you destroy the beautiful world we live in. This generation you’ve come from are all rotten. And you all deserve to die, but I can’t kill everyone now can I Benjamin?”

Ben’s eyes were squeezed shut, the pain from the side of his head fired through his body. Fear glittered in his eyes. Mr. Mood slowly pulled the knife out from Ben’s ear moving it in a circular motion similar to releasing a nail. “You love beer don’t you? No, don’t answer, I know it is true.” Blood squirted onto Mood’s gloves and Ben’s clothing. Sharp tiny droplets started appearing on the cement below the two of them. A chunk of red liquid frothed out of Ben’s mouth and dribbled down his chin. Mr. Mood placed the knife carefully on the cement ground beside him, then moved to select a shady bottle of alcohol from a collection of three. “This is the bottle you left half empty on the counter when you went off to make out with a girl you most likely do not know the name of. Why pay for a bottle of beer Benjamin? If you are not going to drink it?”

He shoved the end of the bottle into Benjamin’s mumbling mouth. Ben shook once again trying to escape as the liquid in the bottle slowly fell down his throat. But eventually it was too much for the boy to handle and he was gasping for air. He ultimately drowned under the bottle. Mr. Mood did not speak; he only watched the body become motionless.

Mr. Mood dropped the head to the driveway it laid on and pulled himself up. He snatched the gloves off one by one and dropped them onto the teenager’s body. Then, he pulled out a new pair from his black, zipped up jacket pocket and slid them onto his hands. “The funny thing is, because no one knows anyone at these parties... everyone suspects everyone.”

As he stood up straight wiping dust from his jacket he noticed the girl, scarred on the other side of the fence staring in shock. She was shaking when she spoke, “Are you going to kill me?” Mr. Mood didn’t show any emotion, but maybe under the glasses he did. “I don’t kill girls, unless it’s with my eyes shut and my finger on a trigger.” He paused. “Of course if you tell anyone what happened here I might go ahead and find that gun.”

Mr. Mood heard the girl swallow loudly and stay put as he stepped aside. As he paced away he was smiling, anxious of suspicion. Suddenly a man fell into his shoulder firing a nerve of shock through his body. “Hell of a party ay man?” Saliva exploded out of the drunken man’s mouth. Mr. Mood, without thought swung his knife towards the man’s face slicing flesh from his cheek. There was a yelp and Mood ducked away into the darkness of the night.

A caution tape was placed around the murder scene the next day, police cars surrounded the area.

Mr. Mood was lounging around on his favourite arm chair whilst watching the clouds pass through his lighthouse window. His lighthouse was high and mechanic, flowing a beam of light across the ocean for the ships. He pulled a book out from his low wooden shelf and brushed it open to glance at his page, a red ribbon bookmark slid out. The lighthouse was not owned by him, but now he had decided that this would be where he lived. It was the perfect place to relax, a tiny sound of crashing waves, a clear breeze of fresh air and peace. A blackboard stood in the corner of the small circular room he sat. None of the furniture was his; they were left there by an old man who stayed and squatted some time ago. He passed away by falling off of the balcony and into the sea and Mr. Mood took over the property. The old man had no family left so no one had missed him. On the blackboard were rough chalk scribbles of hatred over faces and names. Circles and doodles criss-crossing through the list of people.

At the top of the board was a title, ‘Odium.’

He took his glasses off in the privacy of his home.

The night sky was dark, sparkly and LOUD. Below the clear full moon stood a house rayed with lights. Inside was the same noise but louder.

Inside was a party.

Mr. Mood wondered through the front door which was, as usual, open. Inside it was the typical bodies being thrown around, drinks being spilt and people chatting about relationships. Then, under his glasses his eyes widened.

A young boy was moving around the busy front room pushing people away, “GET OUT! GET OUT OF OUR HOUSE!” The boy ran to a taller boy leaning against the television set gulping down a bottle. “Brother! Why the heck did you invite all these people?”

His brother replied, “I didn’t.” He then burped and drank some more. Red grew in Mood’s eyes, he already knew the brothers name, ‘Larry Hens.’ And he wanted him dead. Larry picked himself up and left the half empty bottle of beer on top of the television. He walked towards a girl who was sitting on the sofa sipping a dark liquid in a glass. Mood recognized her as the brown haired girl from the other party. “Do you want to go upstairs? I have a pool table.” Larry was balancing on the arm of the sofa. The girl shook her head, “No thank you.” She sighed and put her head down. Mood observed everything that happened; he’d watched so many emotions now he could almost read minds. The girl was a guest of course, invited by a drunken buddy. She did not like being there without her good friends. Larry’s brother was another ‘sane’ Mood imagined. The ‘sanes’ always live.

Larry moved towards another girl who was talking to her friend in a corner. “Larry.” Mr. Mood had spoken before Larry could try and chat the girl up. “What do you want specs?”

“No I don’t want specs. I’d like a discussion outside if you don’t mind.”

Larry shook his head, but not in denial, just to release some snot that was hanging from his nose. “Not outside, come, we’ll play pool. The winner gets the lady.”

“I don’t think that’s a choice for you to make.” Mr. Mood replied. The girl turned away from her friends and faced the two of them, “I don’t mind.” Under the lenses Mood was once again frowning.

“Tell me. How are you going to clean up all of this vomit, alcohol stains and collapsed bodies by the time your parents get home?”

“I’m not. I’m going to blame my brother. Say I was asleep the whole time.” Larry started giggling to himself as the three of them moved up the creaky stairway.

In the quiet games room Mr. Mood closed the door behind them. He stood glancing around the room and inspecting for security cameras. After all, this was a large house ruled by a rich family. Larry threw Mr. Mood a cue and held onto his own tightly. “So what’s your name?” Larry asked. “And how did you know my name? Friend of Jennifer’s are you?”

Mr. Mood smiled whilst circulated the cue with his hand. “You know what it’s like to have a broken heart Larry?” Larry blinked and then glared at the girl.

“Sorry mate, I don’t follow.”

Mr. Mood leapt forward with the cue’s point pointing towards Larry. The cue crashed into Larry’s chest bursting through the flesh and ripping out of his back. He screamed in agony as the stick welded through his heart. His screaming became just a gush of air very soon as he collapsed onto the pine floor below him, blood squirting in every direction. “That’s what it feels like. I just thought you should know, as you’ll never find out otherwise. But maybe a few of your ex girlfriends do? Hm?”

The girl in the corner was screaming extremely loud. “WHY DOES THERE ALWAYS HAVE TO BE A WITNESS? And a girl at that! And a gunshot would grab too much attention from downstairs...” Mr. Mood was lost in thought, staring at the glass window as the girl screamed. Then he decided.

He ran forward throwing his arm out to grab the girl as he moved. Her legs lifted as she was pulled away with him towards the reflecting glass of the window. It smashed in front of him and they both fell through soaring through the air and crashing roughly into a spiked bush.

Mood got up noticing the bloodied body sinking into the shrub. Then, he ran.

The new morning light shone through the tall windows of the lighthouse and the eyes opened of Mr. Mood. He had fallen asleep in his armchair whilst reading and was now stretching. How old was he now? 30? 40? 60? 20? He couldn’t remember. He was always lost with the date, and due to no one celebrating his birthday he’d lost count of the years. Was it 2007, 8 or 10?

Up until now no one had released information on Mr. Mood, but now was about to change. The television was one thing Mood did like to avoid but he couldn’t deny enjoying the news. But not today. On the screen stood the bloodied girl standing outside the large mansion. “He wore sunglasses to hide his eyes, and a dark black hat. He wore a black coat and black gloves. Like he was deliberately trying to look suspicious. He killed Larry.” She started to cry in front of the news crew. Then a voice-over sounded, “Here is some CCTV footage of the character escaping into the night after murdering a teenage boy with a pool stick and pulling a young girl out of the window with him.” And there it was, clear as cream, Mr. Mood leaping out of the window. He smiled at his own stunt and ability to run so fast, maybe he was 18-20?

He wore the same jacket, but with no gloves. He replaced his hat and glasses with an old war helmet with tinted goggles and walked cheerfully along the busy night streets. There it was; a night club. The next hit, a public murder. But at the gate he was halted, “I’m sorry sir, but you will need to remove the helmet.”


“Identity check. It’s the rules.”

Mr. Mood frowned under the helmet and turned away, maybe another day.

Suddenly Mood caught sight of her again, the smooth brown haired girl with curls on the ends. She was walking towards him. Then she paused in front of him, “Trying to get in the nightclub huh?”

She was rather beautiful in the night. “I... yes... Do I know you?”

The girl smiled, “We’ve ‘seen’ each other before but never properly met.” She held a hand out. “I’m Juria Canuna. And you are?”

Mood was lost for words, “Mister.... Mood, but my friends.... Yeah, my names Mr. Mood.” Juria giggled and shook his uncovered hand. “I think you’re cute. Always hiding your identity.” Mr. Mood was weakly smirking, he kept staring at her under the lenses, and all other thoughts were put to a halt. “You’ve got a cool jacket.” She put a finger to the leather and asked him to turn around. Mood accepted and swung around on one foot awaiting her next conversational line. But there was a clank of metal instead of speech.

His hands were trapped, hand cuffed by the sweet ‘sane’ with the brown hair. Under the goggles his eyes were fuming as he shook violently to release himself. But it was impossible.

Juria spun him around, still smiling, most likely at her success. “I’ am arresting you under suspicion of the murder of five men. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you may later rely on in court. Anything you say may be given in evidence. Understood?”

Mr. Mood did nothing, most of his adult life he’d killed people for betrayal and alienating him and now he’d walked right into this. “You have nothing on me.” He whimpered.

“Not yet, but if you’re finger prints match the ones on the gloves found on Benjamin Jerriko’s body we will do.” Mood cursed in his head, why the hell did he leave his bloodied gloves on the body anyway? Over stressed that night is a possibility. He became attracted to the girl he thought was more like him, but she betrayed him without even getting to know him. Like every other scum in life. Mr. Mood was sat in a deserted planet of waste, by himself. The last ‘sane’ man alive.

“What if I deny giving you my fingers to examine?” Mood was not smiling, only thinking.

“We won’t need you, you shook my hand remember.”

Mood shut up.

Some police cars pulled up around them causing some interesting conversations in the crowds of night club goers. They were probably worried they’d be noticed as underage or carrying drugs in their pockets. Mr. Mood was pushed head first into the back of the vehicle landing on the soft cushion seat. “You’ll never stop me fixing this world, I WILL FIND EVERYONE LIKE ME!”

“No one’s like you buddy.” A male voice came from the front seat as Juria stepped into the passenger’s side, “That’s right.” Juria and the driver shared a light kiss and then the key was rotated. Mood’s eyes turned red under the goggles and he leapt forward head butting the driver as the car moved slowly forward. The driver, with his foot down dropped his head against the wheel causing it to fall round. The whole car skidded out of control spinning in a circle creating a sphere tire track.

Juria screamed, Mr. Mood laughed.

The metal vehicle shot into a metal gate which separated the road from the ocean. The car soured off of the side of the high bridge and dropped in slow motion towards the watery sea.

It crashed creating froth and tiny droplets of liquid, then sank slowly downwards into the unknown blue.

Water was seeping through the windows extremely fast, the driver was already dead. Drowning in his sleepy state. Juria was attempting to press the button to open the window, but the machine was broken down under water and she was trapped.

In handcuffs Mr. Mood kept his mouth closed keeping in the air he had left, but he knew it would run out very very soon. He watched Juria struggle for air, bubbles exploding out from her area as she banged on the glass in literal slow motion.

Then Mood opened his mouth to perform one last silent laugh as Juria became motionless in struggle and started to float to the roof of the sunken car. Then, it was Mr. Mood’s turn to die. Was he the last ‘sane’ one left? If so, the world will soon fall into its own pit of fat, vomiting, drunken, teenage pregnant rap music.

In Mood’s eyes it was impossible for the whole world to be missing the people of its past like himself. The people who could see what a horrible world it was becoming, because that is what he truly believed. He truly believed everyone deserved to die.

His younger life was filled with lies, betrayal and rejection so his later life was filled with revenge. But so much thinking made him forget it was revenge, he eventually created his own moral reasons for doing it and still stood by them on the day of his death.

As he took his last breath he found it was not his last breath. The car was being slowly lifted by a giant crane; ambulances surrounded the bridge and roads flashing their colourful lights in patterns across the sky. Fresh air seeped into Mood’s lungs; this was a sign from the gods. They wanted to keep him alive to save the human race from what it was becoming. Of course!

He continuously hit the cuffs against the ledge under the window frame as the police car was lifted. Eventually, due to the water damage they cracked open and collapsed onto the soaked floor below him. He laughed silently and for the first time, slid his helmet off in public. No eyes peered though as he replaced it with the policeman’s hat and switched clothing and badge.

Officer Henry Ledgeson. Born to save the earth from where it’s heading. Doesn’t look much like his passport photo.

He slid the bookmark out of the novel once again whilst sitting in his armchair. He then glanced up to see there seemed to be a new name on the list. He was shocked, very shocked. He did not remember chalking another name on the board. Mood had changed his identity by clothing to a Mr. Henry Ledgeson, on the bottom of the Odium list was ‘Mr. Mood’.

Someone had followed him home into HIS lighthouse, wrote on HIS blackboard. He’d had a trespasser and for some reason the whole room seemed suddenly dirty. He quickly stood up firing eyes across the walls and furniture looking for movement or change. He hated change.

Mr. Mood walked closer to the blackboard placing a finger on the rough white chalk name. “Don’t you wish it would snow? I sure do miss the snow,” the voice came from behind him. Mood slowly turned around, the man standing by the armchair came into view. “Who the heck are you? Get out of my lighthouse.”

“I’m Cheswick Hens, brother of Larry Hens. You stabbed him with a cue. Now I’m to do the same to you.” In his right hand stood a tall wooden cue awaiting its command. Mr. Mood laughed suddenly, he realised he did not have glasses or goggles over his eyes. His eyes were naked to the world and now his identity was lost. The only thing left to do was kill the boy. “I thought you were sane. Are you not happy your brother is dead? After continuously blaming you for those house parties?”

The brother shook his head a little. “No. You see things like that you can forgive, murder, you cannot. Do you know how depressed my family are?”

“No. Every family is different. Whether they are sane or not they will react differently to something like this. Maybe they’ll be pleased, or if they were party goers themselves, saddened.”

“You killed him because he was having a house party?” Cheswick lowered the cue a little.

“Maybe I need to tune myself in a little more. That is two people I thought were ‘sane’ but made a mistake now.” Mr. Mood turned away and started grinding the chalk against the board writing ‘Cheswick.’ He then turned back glaring into the eyes of the boy, who was obviously frightened.

“I hate you. I hate everyone.”

“Why did you steal that policeman’s identity?”

“So I could get home to be a new person.” Mr. Mood walked over to a large wooden cupboard and carefully pulled both of the doors wide open. Then, he pulled out a red top hat. “What do you think? Suit me?” He put the hat down and started looking around for more; he pulled out some rabbit slippers. “I could even play an old man! But then students may get suspicious of that.” He giggled to himself and turned back to Cheswick. “Your parents deserve to die just for thinking up a name like Cheswick. What a scar that must have been on you growing up.”

Cheswick had not attacked, he found himself sat down on the armchair, feeling the hate rising. Mr. Mood walked over to him and propped the red top hat onto the boys head. “Parents, parents, parents,” Mood mumbled to himself. “By the way, now you’ve seen my eyes I’m going to have to kill you.” He made himself sound threatening but calm.

“Go ahead.” His grip loosened and the cue fell out of the boys hand landing on the pine floor with an echoed clatter. Mood raised an eyebrow, “I’m sorry?”

“It doesn’t matter anyway. But could you make it... quick?”

Mood made no emotion but went to push the boy off of the chair violently; he then replaced him on the cushiony surface. “This is my armchair. Boy, do you hate me?”


“Then kill me.”

“I hate everyone.”

Mood had heard these words before, hundreds of times from his own mouth. “Then kill everyone.”


As the sea crashed into the giant rocks the glass framed window at the top of the lighthouse burst open. A tiny shadowed body crashed outwards flapping through the air and falling backwards onto the stones below. A crack of bones, a shriek of pain and Mr. Mood was dead.

Through the broken glass Cheswick stared down at the helpless body on the large pointed rocks. He then turned and moved to the Odium black board. He picked up the chalk from the tiny wood shelf and carved in a new word, ‘parents.’ He then dropped the chalk, stepped back and went to read the book left by Mr. Mood.

- Nathan Viney

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Marshmellow pickle sticks. Again a reality?

Today in the news this water i have got is in a blue plastic cup.
its odd, but fun

Now i had several complaints about the ripping of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory yesterday. Actually, i had none. But i just want to let you all know that writing about the evil doings of Willy Wonka was extrememly fun.
So thankyou Welsh man.

I want to write another one. But i shall not.
I am back from the Australia place now. It's not a dream yet, but it will be.
I got a helmet my mum thinks is weird, i have some books i shall get down to reading. I will see Wall-E in the next few days. I've got some Wall-E toys in which i love!
Is this the first time ive ever written anything 'real'? This must be interesting. So, very interesting.
It seems interesting even to me... has my imagination disapeared? I am speaking in the words of reality. Who on earth likes reality? It can occasionally brighten your day but can also drop you into a boiling pan of water.
I am not sure how many hours i was sat on a plane. Maybe 18-20? I was sat at a bus stop for about 2 hours, which i didnt mind.
Up until then i was fine, then i had to sit in a coach for a few hours and i was a bit uncomfortable at that point.
In Australia i read, i ate an omelete, i read, i watched Andrew Denton make his guests cry. I read some more, ate spaghetti and salads, pizzas and pastas, pies and ice cream.
I found my way, explored, met old friends, spent money and now im back.

Why does that bus stop have to be so far up the road?
Marshmellow pickle sticks.
Brought back into the claws of fashion. There are so many types of fashions, surfy, gothic, kelloggsoligists. I am a kelloggsoligist, you wear what you like, eat what you want, believe what you want to believe.
And only speak, when you can actually speak.
Money will go, and money will decay.

- The Daily Crumb