Posthouse Cake Champions

Today in the news twenty men squashed to death by elderly woman. Twenty men in south London were minding their own business today when a little old lady named "Old Granny Posthouse" drove a steamroller over them.

The woman was not arrested as she is old and did not know what she was doing.
Old Granny Posthouse was last seen in the bakery section at Sainsburies. We caught up with her there.
"One minute they were there, the next they were gone!" - Old Granny Posthouse
You'd run over them with a steam roller.
"No, the cheesy bread. It was here this morning, now its all sold out. Steam roller you say? I have one of those. Was stolen earlier today by this little kid."
BREAKING NEWS! So the 'old lady' that ran over the men was actually a boy thief dressed as a woman!
"Oh no no no. I was angry that the boy stole my steam roller so i battered him with a rolling pin and dragged his floppy weak body into a dustbin. Bloody mess. Then i drove home."
With the steam roller?
"Well yes, i can't drive cars anymore love, i'm just too old for that now."
So you killed the twenty men on the way back without noticing?
"I never killed no men, though that zebra crossing was a bit bumpy. Felt like a bunch of men dressed in black and white business suits."

Find out more information on this disaster event on page 32, or check out Old Granny Posthouses twitter updates.
*
In other news Tamsim Pakes, professional receptionist at Colony Bank Universe claims she saw WANTED criminal Reeta Lota Choclit pass through at super human speed. CCTV footage proves that something came in, but it may have just been a bird.
Douglas Thomas asks us what Colony Bank Universe actually does. We tell him they look after your money and send promises of taking every customer to the moon. When it is possible.
"This is a disgrace. They are promising trips to the moon and taking peoples monkey. They are liars and thieves and they smell very much like sloppy lumps of poo."
It has since been revealed that Douglas did not realise we make everything up here at The Daily Crumb.
*
The cake festival is on in the small village of Censonton in north Bromworth. Senheiser Perkings is at the scene.
"It's an amazing scene down here Crumb. Every single person in this arena is excited. I can see the sweat dripping and the water bottles drowning away. It is going to be an amazing few weeks. We can clearly see that now.
As you can tell i have to shout because of the loud crowds, everyone is amazed at the turn out. It is going to be a wonderful evening. I do believe the players are getting changed, ready to get out here at go for it!"
Are you sure you are at the cake festival?
"Yes! And the crowd is going wild! The players are walking out now. Waiting in a line. They are all standing next to eachother. This is going to be brilliant.
Silence.. aHH! And off they go! All wet already, soaring through. Can they make it in time? Argentina is going for the win. England very close being."
Yeah i'm pretty sure you are not at the cake festival now. cya!


The Daily Crumb
News Networks.
Journalists across the world waiting for a horrible disaster so we can report it first!

4th October update. Lurble Hokords Bud Koostion

.... Tennis Timmy and his mother were as happy as their unrelated relative Larry.

Hi! It's been a while. A little while, or a big while. Well when i write big i should write it in capitals. BIG.. and bold? BIG
It has once again been a BIG while since i last saw your face/s/z/ers/wers/wizzles/dizzles/trifle.
I've been up and down, all around, falling down.. alot. Been to Mars, oh and Jupitar. Oh and i went to this wonderful place to have a picnic. China... Yeah that was in China.
Oh and i got a disease where all my skin started sticking together, like my arms were stuck to my side and my feet were glued together with gloopy skin.
See i think i just fell asleep while lying down on a sunny day. But i'm lucky i guess, that i dont get all sun burnt, i just melt. Is that luck? I think so, i'm kind of lucky.
You can be too, if you're willing to pay for something pretend.
This is The Daily Crumb. We're the online newspaper who stop start pop and fa.. we do many things here.
Lately we've been hitting the walls as hard as possible as a daily workout. I've not got muscles yet and the wall is not cracked. UnforKunately.
UnforKunately is a big word. I like it. If you make the first and last letters big it could be a big novel or movie title.
UnforkunatelY
Did not really work UnforKunately. Oh well. On with the rest of the jazz. Jazz music.. Hows that all going, i want some, maybe when i'm 21... is that one of those 'important' birthdays. No bithday is important, either that or all of them are. I dunno.
Either way if you are going to get some extras for an ordinary birthday just let the people do what they want to do. Party food is good, cake is good. Party Pies are good.
Then there are those teenagers that go for a amazing 16th or something. Whats it called? Super 16th or something? Special 16th? Probably the last one. Where they get lots of money because they think they deserve something big, or that other people do.
Anyway i've gone off topic now... what was the topic. Did i even have a topic? What was for dinner? What was for lunch? Why do i not leave my chair EVER anymore. Apart from the whole melting thing i'm working on Lurble Hokords Bud Koostion which is a fantastic CBBC show, because childrens TV is the rox socks. The show starts very soon on BBC2 but i will be at UNI i have been informed *Insert swear word here*
Go iplayer. I do believe it starts on the 6th.
So have you been researching? Good. If you have you will have noticed that i said i do not leav emy chair. then later on in the wonderful conversation i mentioned that i had UNI. So yes i get off my chair to go to uni. OR is UNI a new.. type of UNIT... U.N.I.T.. (DrWho). Alien/army work i do from my fat home office chair.
Hope you are all having a nice day. Because right now i am NOT!!! It is pitch black outside. But that might be because it is night time.

See you after the break

The Daily Crumb 20/08/2010

Its the carnival here at The Daily Crumb! It's all cake and ravioli! But not together. Because that would taste as terrible as tuna and garbage juice smeared over an ironing board.
Why are we having a carnival you ask? Well it's because the monkeys and I have agreed to change the name to 'The Annual Crumb'.
Catchy aint it? We even have a theme tune. Everyones here. Ekalopse, Michael (From2detec), The folks from Penny Lane, Adam Phillips (Who is wearing a dress as he's playing the dame in the Crumb Pantomime) and various other non-dead associates. Though Blob, Matt and Puddles could not make it today. Seems like a piano landed on Matt recently and since then Blob and Puddles have been stuck, frozen in digital vector space.
So they will be missing out on Peggy's evil sisters Trifle wont they.

If you have been wondering where we've been i'll tell you.
I (Nathan) have been working hard on a childrens television series titled Little Howard's Big Question. I'm not sure what i do for the show as all the animated characters are real and do not need my assistance to make them move.
Here is the trailer for the second series i am working on. Though at the time of putting it together no animation was complete.
video below

*

Ekalopse released 'Ghosts and Gold' at some point in the last.. two months. The reviews were mainly positive.
Big Bodge Films Magazine: "Repetitive and Amature. Like someone making tunes without the knowledge of musical rules."
TFKinternet: "Why was it free? Because it was ****"
Teddy Richmond co. : "PIRATES. Apart from that song i had my bucket ready for chunky vomit."

So there you go. Mostly positive.
Here are Ekalopses views on the album and listeners:

The General: "Like everything i do it's an experiment of sound. I did not follow the rules, not because i do not know them.. but because i wanted to ignore them. Create something thats not completely predictable. Pupendai and I enjoy the album but still see it's flaws."
Pupendai: "I reckon it was because there was not enough of me on it. Whatever man, we'll still make tunes. We're musicians you know. musicians."
The General: "Well i am."
Pupendai: "Yeah."

*

Here is Mitchell and Webb doing a hilarious yet emotional sketch based on Sherlock Holmes

The Two Detectives

The Daily Crumb has been quiet for a while. The reason for this is our news satellite got destroyed by a satellite that fell from space. So everything has been a little bit blurry.
The only news that was coming through was that anyone important has no chance in the World Cup.

So whilst we are waiting for the satellite to be replaced we've been documenting more of The Two Detectives cases.
Some interesting cases below.
You can also check out their website here
http://thetwodetectives.co.nr
Episode List
Episode one (Pilot): Sweet Murder
Improvised
Episode two: The Man Upstairs
Written by Nathan Viney
Episode three: River of Riddles
Written by Matthew Menhenick
Episode four: The Arch
Written by Nathan Viney
Episode five.. onwards: Pre Production




- The Daily Crumb

The Two Detectives in Blood on the Railway (Story)

The Two Detectives in
Blood on the Railway

Two subtle figures stood close by a recent crime scene, Detective Michael Encyclopaedia and Forensic Investigator Freud Lo-hurt. Michael placed his hand on his old black hat and shuffled it slightly, watching various members of the police force scatter along the railway.
Freud settled his glasses on his nose and stood quietly in thought. The sun was slowly going down in this deserted location. With a light cold wind rushing through and creating waves in the tall dead grass. Michael sniffed, looked behind him then turned back to Freud. “Guy was hit by a train... suicide, accident. Why do they want us? I should be in bed.”
Freud frowned in reply, “I only know as much as you Michael. Let's ask Superintendent Inkwood.” He began to walk across the dry dead grass, it crunched under his shoes.
Mumbling came from the officers, Freud picked up a few passing words, “Trains cancelled...”... “No impact.”
Superintendent Maria Inkwood stood in uniform over the railway track. The sun was moving downwards behind, blazing an orange outline around her. Freud smiled and tipped his hat towards her.
“Freud! Long time no see. How is work now?” She seemed delighted to see Freud. But before Freud could speak Maria's smile soon faded, “You're The Two Detectives?”
Michael burst in, “Yes! What’s the situation miss?”
Maria Inkwood ignored Michael's outburst and continued speaking to Freud, “You're better than freelance work Freud. Especially with... Michael Encyclopaedia.”
Freud chuckled, “I know, Michael is my friend. No matter what people say, we have solved quite a lot of crimes.”
Maria slowly seemed happier to know Freud was comfortable in his work position. “I did hear about that Carnival Sweets arrest, as well as the Moors Murder case. I bet you do all the brain work though.”
Freud did not reply but he could not hide his smile. Michael frowned, “I am right here you know. What’s the case?? I'm missing valuable sleep I am.”
Maria glared at him for a moment then turned towards a tall blue tent, “Bodies in there.” Michael and Freud followed her into the tent, finding themselves staring over a dark, crispy skinned body laying crippled on the floor.
“Oh dear!” Freud remarked, placing his hat down and bowing his head in respect. Maria Inkwood shoved a peg onto Freud’s, and her own nose. “What do you think Freud? Because something is very obvious to us.”
Freud was irritated by the peg gripping onto his nose, “Well...” he said talking through his nose. “I'd say burnt over a long length of time. Deep cuts in a gruesome way... Possibly before being burnt...”
“Exactly. Here is a mystery for you boys,” Maria continued gripping Michael and Freud's taste for crime mystery. “The driver of the train and his wife are absolutely sure they saw a girl stand out onto the track. It was such a surprise... that they were unable to stop the train in time. Apparently they felt and heard an impact on the front of the train. Yet there were no dents or any traces of blood on the front.
After they stopped the train and called us... well look at it. The moment they saw the body it was a burnt wreck lying in the grass with her limbs all cut up.”
Michael was suddenly finding it interesting; he looked down closer at the body. “I guess everyone assumes it is a different girl. Than the one that jumped out.”
“We did... but the driver and wife looked at the body... the face... the clothing. They swear blind it was the same girl. I think they were basing it on clothing though, as you can see there is not much face left.”
Freud stepped out of the tent breathing in some much needed fresh air. “No impact on the body.. so could not have been hit by a train.. car.. bus, well... anything at all. The burn does not look sudden. It looks more like she was dead already and left in the sun to burn slowly for weeks.”
Michael pulled himself out of the tent almost collapsing it, “So impossible for her to jump out on the railway moooments before her burnt body was found.”
Freud turned around suddenly, “Mooo?”
Michael replied, “Ok.”
Maria Inkwood walked over and grasped Freud's hand, “We're transporting the body to the Tavistock Labs. You know where that is?”
Freud closed his eyes and nodded.
Maria chuckled, “Tomorrow, starting 8am. I'd love some of your help.”
Michael waved his long brown jacket around and spun on one foot, “Freud! Asked out on a date!”
Freud frowned towards him, “Over a dead body? Whilst ripping the bodies flesh off to determine true cause of death?”
Michael stopped stunned, “Yeah... well. While you do that I'll be doing some other stuff.”
“What sort of stuff?” Freud asked politely.
Michael was once again stuck speechless; he actually wanted to go and eat ice-cream in front of an episode of ‘The Ruby Sketches hit Hollywood’. Which he hoped to fall asleep to. Then wake up in the morning ready for some ice-cream breakfast.
Instead this case had come up and was once again taking away ice-cream time. Michael grabbed hold of a man passing by and stared, with daunting eyes at him. “How are you related to the case?”
The man pulled himself back from the drunken-like Detective Encyclopaedia. “I am the train driver.”
“Ok! Good... right, I’ll be interviewing the witnesses and stuff. Happy now Mr. Romantic pasta meal over a corpse’s stomach?”
Freud rolled his eyes and pat Michael on the back, “I trust you'll do well without me. Call me with any updates, I’ll do the same.”
“Have fun on your date.”
“It is not a... It is a professional forensic investigation.”
As they spoke Inkwood's gloved hand picked up a black thread of hair from the grass. She mumbled to herself, “Worth a shot.”

*

Michael stood in the living room of Mr. Jacob Peterson's house. He'd taken his shoes off at the door, so his toes were sinking into the thick carpet. “Great TV. So big and brilliant quality. I have a little TV. Don't get enough work to pay for a BIG TV.” Michael said watching a cooking show and eating a biscuit from Jacob's kitchen.
“So you were the driver of the train. Where is your wife today?”
Jacob stopped in his steps, on the way from the kitchen to the living room. “Since the incident she has not been home I am afraid. I've tried everything to contact her but no reply.”
Michael thought about this for a second, “Interesting. So can you run through what you saw again... the incident?”
Jacob sat down slowly onto an armchair; he held a steaming cup and saucer in his hands. “I was driving the train. My wife came in; she sometimes works in the cafe so comes and sees me. The train went on a little bit... my wife got a phone call and then suddenly the girl jumped out onto the track! When it was too late to stop the train I closed my eyes shut tight. Then I heard the wham. Something must have hit us. I opened my eyes and saw my wife looking a bit stressed closing her eyes. I comforted her after stopping the train, trying to overcome things. Then I called police and ambulance to the scene. Stepped out of the train and there was this... dead... burnt body.”
Michael chomped onto the biscuit, crumbs landing lightly on his jacket. “What did your wife say on the phone?”
Jacob looked a bit uncomfortable; he did not expect an unrelated question while working over harsh memories. “She was just talking to her associate Debbie. They work together at a theme park by the beach. She said... 'yes'... 'That’s fine'... she got a bit restless, 'ok we'll have to... yes... do it anyway. Whatever.'... then she hung up.”
Michael smiled, “I noticed a cookie jar on the counter... might I be able to take that home with me?”
“I... suppose so..” Jacob once again looked uneasy.

*

Maria Inkwood walked through the heavy medical centre doors as Freud had a finger up the victim’s nose. “How’s it going?” She asked, walking around the table, the table with the crispy corpse lay motionless. Freud stared at his gloves for a moment, “Checked the body completely, no impact what so ever. It is positive I’d say, this girl burnt from at least three weeks of sunlight. She must have been laid somewhere, kept somewhere... probably dead already. Suffocated first? Then dumped somewhere and forgotten about. Her corpse just burnt naturally in the sun.”
Maria was deep in thought, pacing across the room, her boots echoing on the tiles. “Good.”
Freud continued, “Though the cuts are very recent. So recent in fact I’d say she was cut and then placed there, ready for you to find. Maybe as a way of making it look like she was hit by the train. Someone’s... game? They did a bad job at pretending that she was hit by the train through... with these amateur cuts and no big impact on any part of her body.”
Inkwood sat down and spun around on a rotating chair, then stomped her boot down as a break. She sat, staring at the body, in a trance. “Question is, were they trying to trick us or someone else?”
Freud nodded, picked up a large sheet and threw it over the naked corpse.

*

“Debbie is it?”
“Yes.”
Michael was at a hotdog stand, part of a giant beach theme park. Debbie was standing behind the counter in her work uniform.
“You want a hotdog?” She asked with a dim expression.
“Not right now no. I was wondering if you knew the where abouts of Kate Peterson, husband of Jacob...”
“No. Why you want to know?” She seemed snappy, straight to the point.
“I'm Detective Michael Encyclopaedia and if you are hiding information we'll find out and you'll be getting jail time.”
Debbie blinked; suddenly she seemed more aware of her surroundings. “I did not do nothing. Kate's... Kate’s... I don’t know. She's off doing her own thing now. Aint seen her since...”
Michael shot in, “Where were you yesterday night... around 8.00pm?”
Kate went silent. “Here.”
“Can anyone confirm that?”
“I was at home.”
“You just said here.”
“I meant home... no one to confirm... it... Kate, maybe?”
“You are not very good at this. Kate was on the train.”

*
Jacob was becoming restless; he sat lonely in his living room. His television was switched off and the lights were dim. He pressed in the mobile number again and brought the phone up to his ear hoping for a reply. The painful ring continued and then finished with a woman, “The person you are calling is not available. Please try again later.”
He threw the phone across the room and slumped back down in his chair.

There was a light knock sound behind him. He slowly turned to investigate then found himself smiling.
Blood spat against the wall as the sharp blade of a knife ripped through his centre. Jacob collapsed onto the living room floor, dead. Blood seeping from his throbbing stomach.

*

Michael and Freud stood in Debbie's kitchen staring at their new homely environment.
Suddenly the door bell rang. Michael ran through the halls and to the front window, glaring out of the blinds. “It's Kate! Don't mention we're here Debbie.”
Freud ran to hide behind a sofa, Michael settled behind a cupboard. Debbie panicked, waving her arms around but not making a sound. After a minute or two she calmed herself down and walked to open the door.

Kate walked in, confidence in her movement. She threw her handbag onto the grotty couch and floated into the kitchen. “I'm going to use your shower Debbie. It is done.”
Debbie coughed, looking over at where the Detectives hid away. “Done what Kate?”
Kate stopped and turned towards her, “... I killed Jacob. Wore gloves, they won't find any prints or even a murder weapon. I'll just act all surprised and devastated. He finally got what he deserved.”

Freud and Michael were now standing clearly in the hallway. They were watching Kate as she drifted around looking for soup tins on shelves. Freud tipped his hat and tried to remain calm and understanding. “We know what happened now Miss Kate.”
Michael picked up a crumb from the arm of the grotty sofa and stared at it closely. “It turns out it was quite simple really.”
Freud nodded. Kate was still in complete shock, they could see she was almost boiling with madness. “Tamsin Burke. The victim.... the girl we identified dead at the scene, burnt in the sunlight. We also found her mobile hidden in the grassland close by. Possibly dropped from her pocket. I'm sorry Debbie... we know everything.”
Freud stopped for a breath, before he could continue Michael broke in. “Your hair was found at the scene Debbie. Course we sort of ignored it at the beginning. Two things that could not possibly connect up, a husband and wife driving a train and a girl jumping out onto the track.”
Freud walked over to the counter and picked up Kate's mobile phone. “But they did connect didn't they. That girl, Tamsin Burke... she'd been missing for three weeks. Then suddenly she jumps out onto the track ready to be hit by a train.
Someone wanted it to look like that had happened anyway. Jacob Peterson was having an affair with Tamsin Burke.”
Michael nodded towards Kate and Debbie. Freud scrolled down the address book and call list on Kate's phone as he spoke, “You knew about it Kate. You got angry and wanted to HURT your husband. So you organised this.
You thought if your husband had seen Tamsin being hit by his own train he'd feel the pain you felt when you found out he was cheating on you.”
Michael once again followed on, “But to me, it looked like he was oblivious of this. The train was moving too fast, and it was too much of a shock for Jacob to recognise her. Plus her body and face were burnt so much he had no way of noticing it was Tamsin lying there dead. Which I imagine was a mistake.
Three weeks ago when you found out, you ordered your friend, Debbie to murder Tamsin. Seemed easy enough, Debbie has mental issues as we found out from past police reports. Debbie must have taken her to this very house and suffocated her. Then she did not know what to do. You called up Debbie mentioning that Jacob was not working for three weeks. So Debbie left the body of the dead girl in the backyard. An unforeseen mistake. In the blazing sun her body burnt up. When the day came you tried to keep as far away from Debbie and the crime as possible. Only contacting her by phone.
Anyone recall the phone call? On the train... just before the event. “She said.. 'yes'... 'thats fine'... , 'ok we'll have to.. yes.. do it anyway. Whatever.'.. then she hung up.”
Debbie was telling her that the body was burnt and did not look the same as when she left it. Kate was angry and knew this would not all turn out as she planned but wanted it to happen anyway.”
Kate shuffled her feet and looked down at the tiles.
Freud put the phone down on the counter. “It was all planned ahead, apart from the burns. You asked Debbie to cut the corpse up and make it look like it had been hit by a train.
Here is the interesting bit. You got Debbie to wear a wig and similar clothing to the victim. And actually risked her own life...”
“I know... I’m sorry Debbie...” Kate suddenly spoke; tears were flowing from her eyes. She was looking at her friend who stood in the corner. “I got Debbie to dress up as Tamsin and jump on the track in front of the train. In the nick of time Debbie would jump out of the way and place the body near by on the grass. She cut her up... pretty badly and then ran away. I did the rest inside. I covered my husband’s eyes and hit the counter, a loud whack sound convincing my husband that the train had hit her”
Michael butt in and directed his words at Debbie, “We probably found the hair when you took your wig off.”

Kate was now crying rapids, holding onto the counter and looking away from the Detectives. “How did you find out all this?”
Freud smiled and straightened up, “Jacob Peterson made various phone calls earlier today. The phone rang in the lab, Tamsin's phone. We twigged, plus the hair and your disappearance. It all fitted. Unfortunately it was too late for us to save Jacob's life... You killed him before we could get there. When you came in you clearly said, “I killed Jacob”. Which we recorded. So it is safe to say you are both going down for murder.”

*

Michael and Freud sat peacefully in the park at a wood bench and table. Michael had a can of coke in his hand and Freud had pulled out a book.
The clouds overhead seemed to part letting a bright sun through and a blue sky. Michael sipped the liquid from the top of the can and then placed it back onto the table.
He found himself in deep thought, “I did not like doing all the talking... it is too emotional... I started to care for these people. I'm actually pretty depressed that Jacob died. Don't ever run off to the labs again will you?”
Freud put the book down and frowned, “I will... I have to. But I won't let you go interviewing by yourself.”
Michael smiled in reply, “Thanks dad.”
“Yeah... I’m not your dad Michael.”
“Shut up I didn't say that.” Michael pushed Freud's book back into his face and continued to sip his coke.


The End

The Two Detectives: The Man Upstairs

Things turn nasty when Detective Encyclopaedia and Freud Lo-hurt investigate the house of a possible murderer. Turns out the murderer is not the person they thought he was.
Watch now below

BETTER QUALITY VERSION HERE

Posters:

WHAT is going on Daily Crumb?

So what is coming in the future for The Daily Crumb?
The cracks in time are cleaning out planets across the universe, faces in history.
There may not be any new productions from me for a while. This is due to the face that i'll be doing some more freelance work.
So no new animations for a while anyway. But there is a small, light of hope that we could film at least one episode of 'The Two Detectives' in this time.
If not it looks like it will be a summer shoot, which should be fine. And fun!
(anyone notice i said face instead of fact? :O )

Matthew Menhenick and I have written two episodes of 'The Two Detectives.' Yes, they are written now, no more improvised :( go cry in your corners.
Whether we'll be able to perform a full script is a mystery.
Until then i'll be working freelance, coursework and watching a lot of Jonathan Creek. (And Doctor Who) The two best shows in the world? I know a lot of good shows

So that is the news update.
Pupendai sent us another email mentioning the album.
"...and thats why i can't have a bath in a stable. Also, about the album. We are three songs short... four singers short. It is ok, i'm sure you can be patient. There will hopefully be 13 songs. So a lot is done. Just lacking those extra songs to fill in the gaps. I personally think the album NEEDS them. So you will have to wait for that. The General says, the longer they take, the more time he has to fix up the songs. Should we give them a track list? (General mumbling in the background) Yeah alright. I'll attach a track list."

Ghosts and Gold Track list

1. Electric Sky
2. Almost Paradise (guest)
3. Bulldozed (guest)
4. NurseryGlitch (guest)
5. Pirates (guest)
6. Gold Light (guest)
7. Bus stop
8. Virus Room (guest)
9. Chatter
10.
11.
12.
13. Moving to the Underground (guest)

Ekalopse and Blobs

First up in the news
Ekalopse have decided to release a few short clips of the songs on their new album.
They sent them into Daily Crumb Radio to play live.
this was recorded earlier today.
video below


Pupendai, the vocalist said this about the album.
"I wanted to step away from the microphone for this album, put all my ideas into the writing. As well as help The General with the tunes."
The General: "We started asking around. We wanted an epic loving sound to this album. One you can't get with a boring bland dead voice like Pups. No offense"
Pupendai: "None taken."

The General: "On the first album we got my friend Jayn Tapilin to come in and do a song. she was a fantastic singer so of course we were going to bring her back. You've heard her song Pirates already i believe. Waiting to meet up with her again for another recording session. Along with three other artists. The album will have 13 songs and there are only 3 left to record.
Pupendai: "We also got a musician known for his underground mining work, Sam Smith. He came in and destroyed you General! He so destroyed your music with his own. He ROCKS!"
The General: "Yeah ok.. dont rub it in. He was good. All together there are 8 guests."
Pupendai: "Nine including my niece, Pisketti."
The General: "Yes, she did Maniac when Mr. bindy was on keyboard and now Bus Stop."

----------------------------

Its a bit late news. But Blob Corp Studios released their latest amazing fantasy film. And guess what, its a blob story!
wahey! Everyones favourite eyeball jelly is back.

Blob goes on an emotional journey to find out his past.
yummy animated foods
video below

Devil Song. Final Major Complete

I've completed my latest animation. A music video for the song, 'Devil Song'. The tune is by Duncan Oakley, a UK comedian.
It took around 2.5 months to complete and grew up from a few ideas agreed with Duncan. Animation and design inspirations come from Spongebob Squarepants (Extreme facial expressions), Cloudy with a chance of meatballs (Laid back attitude to producing a professional piece). 'Tribute' by Tenacious D.
Designs of HELL itself were based on Gorillaz Plastic Beach. An island stuffed full of junk, bits and bobs.
Video Below

The Two Detectives: Sweet Murder

It came as quite a surprise when Detective Encyclopedia and Freud Lowhurt walked into the Daily Crumb office with their pitch.
They wanted us to film them doing what they do best, solving crimes. The two are well known for solving mysteries in the town of Tavistock.
We agreed.

Will they get so close to the murderer that it threatens their own lives?
Watch and see


This video is completely improvised by Nathan Viney and Matthew Menhenick. There was no script and pretty much no ideas before hand. Everything came as the day went as you will soon see.

Below: Cut to 10 minutes version



Below: Full 11 minute version better quality

You can also visit the episodes home page at nathanviney.com/sweetmurder.html

Ben Phelps, a fellow animator at Plymouth College of Art liked the video so much he drew some fan art!

Click on the image to go to his Deviant Art

________________________

DEVILSONG by Duncan Oakley

Animation is going fine.

I've left a lot of character animation to last *vomits*. Though i must put some socks on first as my feet are cold.

No one forget Doctor Who tonight!

Devils, Blobs and Damon's Shoes

Hello!
So. UK people will have seen the new Doctor Who, first episode. Though i cannot review it at this time. As any thought about the episode i suddenly go off searching on the internet for trailers and pics. As well as watching the episode for the 8th time since broadcast.
Right now i am working on a music video. Production is going well. But slow. I am up to the final guitar solo in the song so its all crazy abstract wonderous things going on now. Like a bopping monkey.

I'm hoping to have some of the video quite epic. with cracking floors and earth exploding stuff... Anyway you will see.

There are two locations in the music video. A shopping centre and HELL. .. and space. .maybe. We will see. alot of hell is inspired by the new plastic beach model (Gorillaz new Album)

which brings me onto my next topic.
i saw gorillaz live!
myself and 2 friends went up to Bristol (The closest they'll ever get to Plymouth) and went to a band rehearsal.

With Clash members Mick Jones (Guitar) and Paul Simonon (Bass. Who was in The Good the Bad and the Queen.)
And of course the music mastermind behind Gorillaz jumping around at the front of the stage just like when i saw him at Blur Hype Park, Damon Albarn!
But unlike Hyde Park Damon was not a tiny figure on a stage miles away. No, instead he was a few cm away from.
Long time music hero of mine! Next time i'll shake his hand.
i was against the stage where his feet were and he loomed over me :O

Amazing singysong with alot of juicy bass.

--
Anyway
Other news is BlobCorp are working on their next film 'Blob: Origins of the New'. Yep that is right, Blob is back!
Though production has just started on this next masterpiece so make a cup a tea and buy a newspaper.

Doctor Who every saturday.
Next episode BBC 1 6:15 (Even earlier? what the?)
THE BEAST BELOW
Another Steven Moffat and apparently quite scary this time (6:15?)

---

I do realise that this post is quite a mess, throwing from one topic to another.
So heres a screenshot from Duncan Oakley's Devilsong animation


By the way my website nathanviney.com has a refreshed logo and showreel

Showreel and new Ekalopse song release

Apparently the catchiest song ever made says Bernard Mantrem, head guy at EMI.
Ekalopse have not really officially released 'PIRATES' but it seems to have leaked its way onto The Daily Crumb's Animation Showreel!
So enjoy!
maybe i'll get some jobs with the song :D
Ekalopse had this to say.

Pupendai: "I was having a lazy day. The sky was falling and i wrote the lyrics. Pirates! Though i got some girl to sing them, the one that sung on that 'Old Realm' song. She is fantastic, and made this song her own. It was great fun to work on."
The General: "It is a speedy piece, fast moving, catchy. Nothing too indepth."
Pupendai: "Oh yeah it is about a couple who get attacked by pirates. b=But the couple soon show their true colours and fight back as REAL pirates."
video below



The General: "We've got the lyrics so you can sing along."

Pirates

oh
you need to know
its a long long way to go

pirates pirates

When we went to the sea
pirates took our money
when they walked away from me
treasure box of fury

Fun in all the roaring
fun in all the glory
as their guns shot fiercly
We began to show them how to be
pirates

pirates pi-rates

eye patch and gun they're dead
mug of rum and peg leg

its a long long way to go

what we love this is who we are

who we are
who we are
who we are

EKALOPSE: JULY

Ekalopse released their new album. You can download it here

After the success of FRUIT ENCYKLOPEDIA The General felt inspired to make more music. Though this time he wanted to produce his own album. The General started out as a basic drummer and brass player in Ekalopse. But he advanced in his talents and can now play every instrument given to him. (Though saying he can actually 'play' them has been argued amongst critics)

The General then attended a church ceremony at the Prison Pupendai (Original vocalist) was being held. Pupendai told him how sorry he was about murdering Mr. Bindy (Previous dead keyboardist and vocalist). The General noticed a kindness in Pupendai he remembered from when they were in school. Later on the General sent his old friend some musical clips he'd produced in his home studio. Pupendai sent back some recorded jailcell vocals.

They continued to do this until Pupendai was caught in a prison fight and his microphone was taken away from him.

The final song they made was Echo Ello, when the General brought his instruments and set them up in the jail cell. Since then the General has taken a break with his family and Pupendai remains in jail.

Track by Track info from the band:

Musical July

The General: "I wanted to open the album with an excited tune a bit different from past songs. Something to say, "This is not going to be popular but it might sound nice." This was all me overlapping some recordings and producing this short piece in my studio."

Pupendai: "The higher sounds remind me of July."

Tube

The General: "It sounds a bit scary, then it becomes a bit of a poppy tune. I think it sounded good without the vocals but Pupendai forced me. (In a non violent way) He is different now."

Pupendai: "I was relating the lyrics to a combo of the TUBE TRAINS, so small, that horrible feeling of being underground amongst depressed people. That i can now relate to being stuck in this damn jail cell."

Echo Ello

The General: "This was mostly all Pupendai. He got a tune stuck in his head all day, much like i did 'A General Place'."

Pupendai: "Yeah i just wanted to get this out of my head. Though my microphone was taken away from me so General had to come into my cell with the instruments. It was fun to jam again!"

Blimp

The General: "Actually the first tune we made, Pupendai did throw a lot musically into this one as well. We sort of started it before.. you know, the murder. Then finished it together. There is a bit of Mr. bindy keyboard i stuck in there. This makes me feel a bit sad so i never listen to it."

Pupendai: "Water and sky."

On the way to heaven

The General: "I did ask Pup what the hell these vocals were about. He never really explained. Trivia you can hear me doing backing vocals at the end."

Pupendai: "It is about how bad you hurt when i killed Mr. Bindy. You just wanted to throw away your trumpets and go to heaven."

The General: "Ah! ... yeah it is true."

Spaghetti Tails

Pupendai: "I love the light heartedness, shame my voice is so depressing."

The General: "Yeah we DID want to get someone else in for this one but no one wanted to join in after the murder. They did not like that i was still working with you. Can you tell them about the lyrics Pup?"

Pupendai: "They are actually talking about the native characters in AVATAR.and their spaghetti-like pony-tails."

Redial

The General: "This track is just me going crazy with music and bits and bobs, much like "Pu."

Pupendai: "I only wanted to go with the flow on this one, i say Pterodactyl and Redial. the rest is slurh."

A General Place

The General: "I had a tune stuck in my head, this was it. Though i realise now that i should have got Pupendai to do ALL of the vocals."

Pupendai: "The middle of the song i say 'Oh the General's son wants to play hear now.' This is because Tom General (The General's son) went to the studio to play some drums for this song."

Pupendai: "I do not like how depressing the song is."

Krinkett

The General: "I was hyper and wanted to tech it up. So i got all my stuff and made this sound."

Pu

Pupendai: "It was me that said we should make a beat out of a ticking clock right?"

The General: "Yeah i think so, though it did not work out as well as we'd hoped. It does have a nice little tune to finish the album."

Pupendai: "Will we make more?"

The General: "Who knows."

Lyrics:

Tube

Theres no space for where you wanna go

It hurts to try and fix it

He know you

He know us

Echo Ello

Echo caus soul dont dance

Ello dancing lava lamps

Echo when you feel no pain

Ello it starts to rain

Echo straight in a hook

Ello like any childrens book

Ello Echo

Ello Ekus

Blimp

Cloud Cloud Cloud Stolen

Cloud Cloud Cloud (In the sky)

We know you cannot fly

Your blimp in the sky

blimp blimp blimp blimp sky

On the way to heaven

Theres no troubles on the road to heaven

Theres no trumpets on the way to heaven

So The General, he wants to go there

(I mixed this for you)

Back and forth can coward sing there
Head to shore bells ringing not fair

Check the case
took it

waste remains
bin it

Further more
Mixed it
For yoou
For yoou

Spaghetti Tails

Blue it
Blue it
When they dance it seems a bit

(Spaghetti Tails!)

West tree see dance
Parting people pass the guards
as we see dead space
as we guard the drivers barge
we wait

we wait

pass me dark stone
heavy doors made of stone
crash down tall rails
we just shout spaghetti tails

tails

Redial

Pterodactyl ay

OhAa oh Redial

A General Place

I know this place

I've been here before

Oh the General's son wants to play here

Released single

The Daily Crumb Material-Swap

We've released two short animated pieces.
One being a complete stop-motion group project, FRIGHT. A little boy walks through a scary woods. He has to overcome his fear of the shadows.
The other is a MAYA 3d performance animation i did including lip sync. Model created by Chris Gorvin.

Maya


FRIGHT
Stop motion animation

Blob Corp Studios: Matt and Puddles

As proud crazy advertising freaks The Daily Crumb would like to advertise Matthew Menhenicks new film, Matt and Puddles.


This is the first official look at the world his characters are living in. A real eye opener intro to a big set of stories yet to come our way and electrocute us with entertaining lightning bolts of fantasy.
Matt and Puddles tells the story of two characters (In the title) leaving their terrible dirty horrible mechanical modern day Plymouth and finding a place of freedom, Old Realm.

To celebrate the release of the film 'The General' from EKALOPSE has sent in the lyrics to the song his band produced for the film itself (You can hear it when Matt and Pudds are flying, as well as the credits).

The General spoke about producing the song.
"Pupendai was going through a rough time, this was before the death of our keyboardist (Mr. Bindy). I'd seen some of Matts work earlier on and sort of knew what he was looking for. A fresh new world song, happy, light, and green. Bindy and I played around with some tunes. Then Pupendai came back from the pub and attempted to sing a tune (Lyrics written by myself.) He did ok but it really did not capture the sound i wanted for Old Realm. I called in an old friend of mine, vocalist Jayn Tapilin. She sung the lyrics and it gave the perfect feel for the moment. I can see now it works well with the opening idea of FREEDOM."
- The General email today.


You can watch the film here though i'd really recommend going to this link, due to the higher quality.


Ekalopse: Old Realm
song lyrics

Old Realm

Flowing from the sea
Left the city

Passing the sunlight
As we flee

Gathering along
Gloom seems wrong
Walk from the grey
Singing this song


Bowing down
fleeting off shore
To old Realm
Leaving mist as we soar
you can download Ekalopse album here. Bonus track includes original song

secrets and see saws

27th February
Secrets and See Saws

As you all well know. I was in jail recently, under evil bird, Figg Lomero.
Well it turns out that rich man, Marshall Hens was actually getting no work whilst The Daily Crumb was not running.
So he bailed us out just so he could get a slot in.

The Marshall Hens Words of Wisdom:
"Whilst working on my book i've felt a real connection with whats not and whats is. Based on the colour fabrics of what we believe is total communication amongst tutoring our students."

Marshall is a great guy but i've been away a while so i'll have to cut his words of wisdom short for todays news.

Solo space man tough work back to chair

Caterpillar on train track

and pin not able to penetrate normans foot.

*

So we've yet again found another daily crumb offices. But due to the amount of people that hate us we will not be revealing our position in the miserable town of Plymouth UK.

No news as to how the old office is doing under the authority and ownership of Figg Lomero.

*

While i was inside Ekalopse album was released called, Fruit Encyklopedia. With Pupendai still in jail it looks like Ekalopse may be over.
The General, trumpets and percussion for Ekalopse said this "I do not think i would go solo. Mr. Bindy was the best at keyboard and Pupendai was the best at throwing tunes and lyrics at me. Though right now i do not think i could look Pupendai in the eye. Murderering Mr. Bindy has hit me hard. I think i'll just be playing tunes in my basement from now on."
You can find their album here

*

Daily Crumb studios have also been sketching up a music video whilst in jail. With Rainbow put on hold evil is released.

Cover i designed based on a scene in the music video. Duncan Oakley excellent comedian musician.


The main character saying something.

The Figg Lomero Prison

You may have heard that i was arrested a few posts ago and have been in a cell for the last day.
Figg Lomero, a powerful bird bought The Daily Crumb Studios from us and sent me here.
Though this is no ordinary jail.

Today i was given a lunch break, i was able to go to the feeding area and of course get some fresh air. I also got to use a real toilet instead of a bucket.
But it seems i was mistaken, police did not take me, blind folded to a typical prison. This is Figg Lomero's Prison.
A bird mastermind and billionaire in this world. A bird that has recently made my old offices his new nest.

So here i got to see what a strange place this was, i got my own block cell. I only saw two other prisoners on my adventure out of the cell. I also thought it odd i was allowed to bring this laptop into my cell but not use a toilet.
As well as birds guarding every door and wall around the prison.
This is a sketch i did. If you know where i am.. please help me.


I realised that the reason no one could bail me out was because no one knows where i am. I tried to google earth it. It just came up as a blur, a completely hidden Prison. But the name directed me to the south of UK somewhere.

I guess it is up to me..

The Daily Crumb's in jail

So if you did not catch the news yesterday here is a summary read by the rapper, Turtle Ex.
Bird stole desk, then black bird confessed. Daddy dont like me, Hit crumb expiry. Monkeys did fail, Boss end up in jail. Dig it?
If you did not get that completely. Basically 'The Daily Crumb Offices' has been sold to Figg Lomero, a sneaky bird with a lot of cash.
Enough cash apparently to take the Crumb away from me and my own father, Lord Elk of the South Maze Falorium. Figg used his power of word to get me arrested.
I drew a sketch of my surroundings above. Yes the bucket on the right is where i go to the toilet.

I do suspect foul play of course. The bird said something that has been ringing in my mind. "Only Lord Elk holds the brain to withstand such spoken words"
What if Figg Lomero's words are so powerful they can easily change a persons mind? Is it THAT wise? Is it possible to be that wise?
I asked the only wise person i knew.
Marshall Hens.

Email Extract:
"Well of course it is possible. People manipulate the mind all the time. Look at Archie Mitchell on Eastenders. Have a look at my book, "Speaking the words of the mind's social stagery." There is a chapter in there about birdies and their mind games. I have not had experience personally but i do know birds like Figg are well educated and well spoken masterminds. So watch yourself, you do not want to get involved with characters like that. Words of Wisdom by Marshall Hens book release Feb. - Your bud Marshall"



Will anyone bail me out? Leave a message or send me an email as soon as possible saying you'll bail me out. I need to get out of this stupid cell and save The Daily Crumb from extinction.

Out of the job. Crumb Cancelled

A bird landed on a tree outside our office window earlier. It wanted to speak directly to Lord Elk of the South Maze Falorium.
"Sure.. i mean.. i've got him in my address book. What did you want him for?"
"I'm a wise old bird with information unsuited for such a mind. Only Lord Elk holds the brain to withstand such spoken words."

So i called Lord Elk and handed the telephone to the black bird that was now standing on my desk.
I waited as the bird held the phone up to his ear. Then it turned to me, "Sorry, did i not mention this being a private call. Could you please leave?"

Understanding the urgency i left my office and sat in the main hall where Sammy was putting up a post-it note 'Buy bread.'

Soon enough the bird opened the door and stared out at at me. "You can come in now boy."
Confused i went back into my office.
Everything was different. The walls were covered in stick built hammocks and the floor was worm-filled soil. There was a little shelf for the wine and my desk now had a typewriter and a bell.
"What do you think old boy? Top Notch update?"
"No.. No! What have you done to my office?"
"Sorry beach ball, this is my office now. Lord Elk sold it to me. Seems i offered quite a good price."
"What?"
"It was apparent you had nothing to pay him. No rent. Is this true?"
"Yes but..."
"What?"
"He's my dad," i answered.
"You and your monkeys are now trespassing on my land. You have fifteen minutes before i call the police. Pack up your stuff. I'm in charge."
The bird held a hand gun up to me. The bird was smiling, an evil grin.
I backed away slowly and closed the door behind me.
The bird screamed down the hall laughing, "Oh and by the way! The names Figg Lomero! And i'm officially cancelling The Daily Crumb. If you release ONE article after this, you'll be sent right to jail. I have that power."


Soon enough me and the monkeys ended up out in the sand.
So, without a job, or a home.....
This cell seems pretty good.

So now i'm writing articles from this jail cell. Sorry guys, it is quite difficult to get news while i am behind bars.
Well Nick let me borrow his laptop.


Here is a party we had at the Daily Crumb a few weeks ago...
oh and an old song released by Ekalopse music man, the General.


Youtube description of below:
Band member, 'the General' released this song today. It is an old unreleased song with vocals from every member of the band. Pupendai, Mr. Bindy and The General himself.

Murder Reflection song released online

Murder Reflection song released online

It was reported earlier in the week that musician, 'The General' walked out on his band, Ekalopse. This occured after a fight with fellow dog band member, Pupendai who apparently got violent after a drink.

Above is a picture of them producing song, 'Ekalopse can't make music', an earlier hit release. This song introduced Pupendai on vocals, Mr. Bindy (Green Helmet) on keyboard and backing vocals and the General (Rainbow ghost) doing everything else music-wise.

So the band was left with Pupendai and Mr. Bindy. A witness had this to say, "Pupendai's been going down hill ever since he took up the drinking. He's an alcoholic and that is the end of it. He is not safe to be on our streets and in our music industry."

Another quote edged it's way onto TWITTER by music man Tom Jones "Mr. Bindy invited me for dinner... but he never answered his door. odd! But oh well!"

"He was the nicest man i ever met." said his mother.

Then suddenly yesterday Ekalopse released online a new song. It is titled, "Blood Eyes Reflection."
It is basically Pupendai admitting and going through the mental unstableness of murdering a friend.
The song has been released with promo pics (Below) and apparently was enough evidence to lock him up for life.
Pupendai is now in jail.

Pupendai after arrest: "I don't know why i did it. I scream out that it was only a nightmare but god, there it is. Bindy is dead, remember when he released 'We Start Living' and 'Waltzing Matilda live'? Before the General left he was working on some great tracks so i thought i'd use them, make some of my own, adjust and sing.... I guess this is my last song. I hope not."





Song Lyrics:
No shoes no legs. its back to bed
no place for you here. we're living you're dead

Turn your phone off
You're not useing it anymore. no arms just a head

(I don't mind)
All the corpses moving. ghost trains are glooming
and all of them are coated red
(I don't mind)

Eyes
Blood Eyes
(Believing you're dead)
Lies
Mud Eyes
(Believing you're dead)


Eyes
Blood Eyes
(Believing you're dead)
Lies
Mud Eyes
(Believing you're dead)


We all stand at the top of a miserable day
Oh Lay for you
Oh lay
Today
We all stand in a miserable day today
Pupendai say
Bindy goodday

Now the angers axed and lights flash
And i'll be gone
I'll be gone

Cliff Hanger

Today in the news a dramatic cliff hanger.

Daily Crumb Books and Marshall Hens Wisdom part 2

Today in the news toilet no access

*

Just so everyone is aware. Our new book is now in your local bookshop.

Though do not forget to grab this book released late last year on your way out.


On the subject of Marshall Hens we could not let this week go without bringing him back for a session.
*

The Marshall Hens Words of Wisdom part 2: Advice
No i was not honoured when The Daily Crumb wanted to use my stories in their little book. It was extra money so i took it.
So Nathan and the monkeys asked me to come back and give them some more of my wise words. What the hell ay? It gave them some thirty million views before, it is not like i'm busy writing a book on Sokology (the japanese art of squeezing wet socks until they are pretty much dry) or anything.
So lets start with a metaphor. My agent says i am well known for them, bringing thought and meaning to those poor children out there.
Lets say this, if you've got the gun, start them running. If you have not got the gun, do not try and shoot anyone because you will look silly.
I do not need experience to know that i am Marshall Hens. Either do you. You know who you are! Why pretend to be anyone else?
Because acting is fun. And the animals need your help. So ACT now and save one life.

- The Marshall Hens


Soon to be knighted, Marshall Hens there. Book still out, Sokology III and Marshall's Wisdom Balloon' coming out in Feb only in France and the lost moon of Poosh.

Kenu and The Lady with the green hat

Todays issue is quite a long story. It began as just a short thing like that fish with canes thing in the last article but ended up as a full story.
It is a fantasy tale and i hope you will find the time to read and possibly enjoy.




Storytime
Kenu and The Lady with the green hat

A lady with a green hat and golden ribbon stood in the snow. Her long hair waved as the trees did and she watched. As she lifted her hand the storm got louder and the wind more powerful. It was no longer just snow zig-zagging at eye level. It was sticks, sand, leaves, rocks and dirt.
She glowed with green light, a field of energy. No one could touch her, or even step close. Though she was identified as the source and creator of the blizzard all that came near were blown away. Suffocating under the snow. Vehicles would slide to the side as the wind struck, then shoot into the sky rotating until lost in the forceful mist. The glass of their windows shattering into the snow and crashing of oncoming rock and ice.
The lady with the green hat and golden ribbon closed her eyes in concentration.

*

"She is not doing this out of hatred or revenge." Kenu Graves explained to the soliders in panic. "I know her. You've seen it. Everyone has been evacuated from her location. She cannot kill anyone else. She is a spirit of nature. She is cleaning the world in snow."
The Sergeant was red with anger, "She is KILLING nature!"
Kenu walked over to a tall vending machine in the office. Outside, snow was waving in the air, solid ice cracking the office window glass. "I'm surprised no one is having a nice hot chocolate," Said Kenu as steaming liquid chocolate poured into his plastic cup. "It is freezing."
The Sergeant scratched his beard and walked over to the window. One of his men tried to pull him back but he ignored. The Sergeant placed his nose against the frost cold glass. "This is the end of the world."
".. as we know it." Kenu butted in sipping his warm drink.
"Kenu! Grow up and tell me all you can, how can we destroy her?" The Sergeant stands away from the glass turning to his soldiers and Kenu.
Kenu placed the plastic cup on one of the desks. "Why would you want to destroy her? She is beautiful. She is nature and she is cleaning our earth so that it may restart. All we can do is protect our children so that they can live in the new world."
"That is nonsense! We have firearms." The Sergeant shook his fist.
"Any bullet will blow back. Her magic is too powerful."
"Magic. Utter nonsense Kenu!" The Sergeant grabbed his walky talky, a screech of white noise and then, "Fire at will."

*

Kenu casually leapt over the sofa and landed on the soft surface. The television in front of him was cracking up with reception but the voice still clear.
"Earlier today jets were sent in to shoot down the cause of the horrific weather. The worst weather we've had in history. Unfortunately all missiles blew away from the green spark of the creator and shot back into the sky rotating out of control. Two landed on empty streets in the south territories and one destroyed the Longcross bridge.
Call these numbers if you are worried about your homes or would like to contact someone in the area."
The Sergeant switched off the television suddenly. "Okay.. we save those who are still alive."
As he said this his ears twitched at the sound of a crack. A shrieking line drew up one of the walls and through the ceiling.
"THE STAIRS! NOW!" Kenu screamed throwing his drink at the wall and running for the heavy doors.
Suddenly two parts of the wall separated and bricks began to fall.
The powerful wind burst through and half of the room disappeared into the cold air of flying rubble and snow.
Two soldiers flew backwards out into the wind, shooting off into different directions. A third grabbed onto a desk, his legs dangling towards the sucking of the outside. As the storm pulled him outwards the desk skid across the tiled floor and dropped out of the building, taking the solider with it.
Kenu pulled the Sergeant into the stairway hall. One other soldier made it in, Jamie. Kenu closed the door behind him and they carefully made their way down the cold stairs making sure they did not slip.
"What do we do?" Jamie asked, keeping a confident stare.
"There is a four wheel drive at the bottom. If we get in fast we could drive with the wind." The Sergeant suggested.
"No that will have blown away already, i have a better idea." Kenu said reaching the bottom door of the building. "We fly."
"I'm sorry?" Jamie squeaked.
"Nonsense. We have no plane and the helicopters have frozen!" The Sergeant shouted.
"When people blow away in the wind all they think about are these two things, 'gotta grab onto something.' and 'i'm gunna die!'. Well forget all of that and enjoy the ride. We can direct our flight with our arms and how we turn in the wind." Kenu stared through the circular window in the door in front of him.
"You are insane boy. I will not risk mine, my soldiers or even your life doing that." The Sergeant was fuming, but at the same time, acting as a leader in the terrible conditions.
"Suit yourself." Kenu smirked, opened the door and leapt out.
The Sergeant and Jamie stood in shook, they both stared into the little window and watched Kenu leap into the air. His body was then shot off into the white and out of view.
"Blimey Sir." Jamie said. "Do you think he is dead?"
"No, he IS dead." The Sergeant walked away from the solider and sat down on a cold step. He held up the walky talky, "I'm stranded. I want you to save everyone left alive, especially the children. It is the end of the world as we know it. Shelter them underground in the warm with plenty of food. Over and out." *Screech*
"What now sir?" Jamie whimpered.
"Do what you like boy, i'm freezing," the Sergeant replied.
"I'll look after you sarge." Jamie said smiling.

*

"Hello my dear." Kenu landed on the outskirts of the green orb of energy that surrounded the lady with the green hat.
"I know you can hear me. Through all the noise of the wind. I've known you long enough to know that. I also know that this is something you would not do without instruction.
You've been asked by a corrupt god to clean the world of humans and their man-made things, their tall buildings, cars and pollution."
"They...........are..........not..........corrupt." The lady with the green hat and golden ribbon, with waving white hair and green dress spoke.
"The gods of Hunen are the ones that are angry. Not you. Do not do their dirty work."
"I hate this world as much as the gods of Hunen do." The lady replied in the gushing winds, icey energy storming from her hands. Kenu slid backwards.
"You don't! You hate parts of it. But i've seen you enjoy the beauty as well. The countryside, the icecream, the italian food. The farming and music of the world. You're getting rid of all of that."
The Lady stood silent, the storm still pelting from her glowing hands.
"Kenu?"
"Yes it is me Lady Arring"
"This is nothing to do with you. You can leave, as the sky spirit you are. The earth below is nothing to do with you. None of your bother, none of your CARES."
"But i do care Lady Arring. Because as spirits of earth we all have to work together. I have the same powers as you. Do you not see? Hunen has gone behind everyones back and asked you to do their dirty work. They are closed minded ruthless fools."
"LEAVE! BACK TO THE SKY!" The Lady Arring shouted, her eyes red with rage.
"I can't Lady Arring. Because i do not want to see earths people die."
"But.. the grass, trees.. and animals. The humans... they are killing them, day after day another is gone. That is the real beauty of Earth, and look what is happening to it."
"We have just got to try and keep them living in harmony."
"Impossible."
"It's hard work.. but it is our work."
"The rage of the gods, sat around the table of Hunen runs through me. You have the power to stop me, kill me, why don't you?"
"Because i love you."
"If i stop... the gods of Hunen will kill both of us."
"You know we can change that."
"I know... but all this power."
"You will miss it yes. But think of the joys of human life, what you miss. I promise you, we can bring harmony again. Just stop this... remember the nice humans. Don't you remember?"
"My mind is clouded by their rage, I can hardly see my own thoughts... but... I see..."
"Yes?"
"Humans... the peaceful ones. I see them..."
"YES! We both know some, look into me, see the friends I have made. The humans I've known. There are good people."
"I know.."

*

"I have to do something." Jamie remarked pacing the hall of the broken building.
"W-w-hy a-a-are-e... y-y-yoou.... not....... c-c-c-old? The Sergeant asked shivering on the stairs. His skin turning red in the cold. Pain running through his body.
"Um.. Sergeant. Do you want to be warm?" Jamie had worry in his expression.
"G-g-god y-y-yes." The Sergeant shrieked in pain.
"Before i do i must tell you this. This is much bigger than your little army." Jamie spoke. The Sergeant was too cold to speak, though he did look madly confused.
"This is a war between the spirits and the gods. Me, being a spirit... like Kenu, a friend of the humans. The gods have turned against us and have sent one of their most magical spirits to destroy and clean out the earth. We're not fighting the girl, she is innocent in all of this. We're fighting the gods."
The Sergeant sat shocked, "U-u-u-u-u-u-u-t-tter ..."
Jamie interrupted, "Nonsense, i know. Now i said i'd keep you warm, so here goes."
Jamie erupted into surging flames. A glowing firebody in a frosty hallway, now melting away. Heat flowed into the Sergeants direction and he was slowly warmed.
"W-why the heck didn't you d-do that SOONER?"

*

*screech* "The blizzard has stopped Sergeant! We're.. we're saved.. it has stopped! *screech*
The Sergeant's walky talky called out to him as he stretched his arms. "That is brilliant news. Here that you nut case?"
Jamie frowned, "It is not over yet. You protect your people. There is going to be fire on earth."
The Sergeant paused for a moment, it was so hard to believe earlier. The fact the squads had brought in this mysterious man with all the information. That man, Kenu, who knew who the lady with the green hat was. She was his wife.
And now a man burst into flame to warm him and cooled down again. This could only be explained as magic. "I'll do as you ask Jamie, and tell Kenu the same. Your world is bigger than ours."
"Good boy.. i mean... sir!" Jamie smiled and shot through the front door into the dying cold. The wind was almost non existent now.
His body heat burnt the snow below him and around. Everywhere he stepped he created a clear watery surface. The world was an outrage, cars were flipped and buildings were in pieces. But it was about to get worse.
Lightning struck above, a light flicker in the clouds and then the thunder. "Hunen are angry."
"What? the Sergeant said staggering out of the building door.
Jamie spoke, his breaths a cloud in the cold "They've noticed that Lady Arring has stopped wiping the earth. They are angry at her."
"Jamie, Jamie..if these Hunen guys are so mighty and leaderworthy then why didn't they just do it themselves?"
"They have their own leader, and if that leader had known what they were up to he'd rank them down or worse, destroy them. So they got someone else to do it, someone else to get the blame." Jamie replied staring along into the distance.
"Aint that typical eh?" The Sergeant said still working out how to walk again. He held up his walky talky, "Keep the people hidden... you know, for safety. We cannot be sure that this is over."

*

"Thank you for stopping." Kenu walked closer to Lady Arring, stomping through the snow. He jumped forward and gave her a hug.
"What do we do?" Lady Arring cried into Kenu's shoulder. "They are going to come and get me."
"You know what to do." Kenu said, looking deep into her eyes.
"But i don't want to!"
"This is your life! Don't let them take it from you." Kenu spoke with wise words and a cautious eye on the sky.
He held her face up, she looked at him. "I'll meet you again some day ok?"
"Promise?" She spoke.
"Our memories will come back to us at the age of 18. Then we will be able to meet again, use our powers again." Kenu held her tight.
A tear dropped from Lady Arrings eye.
Suddenly a blade of lightning struck the snow in front of them. With a flash of blinding light a man with a beard and pointed hat appeared. He walked closer to them, his long cape waving in the dying wind.
"Lady Arring! Why did you stop?"
The lady with a green hat and golden ribbon shouted in the wind, "What you're doing is wrong! Sure these people have caused devastation to wildlife and sky. But that is no reason to kill them all, what happened to reasoning?"
The bearded man giggled, "You're not one to argue my dear. You've already murdered plenty on this day."
Sadness struck the ladies body, "I know." She said looking down.
"We foresaw Kenu stopping you Lady Arring," The bearded man roared, electric sparking from his arms and legs. Even a blue light from under his eyes and through his own mouth. "So it is time to kill you."
The bearded man pulled a shiny sword from his side and held it out to her. "You'll die at the hands of lightning."
The end of the blade began to glow.
Kenu whispered into Lady Arring's ear, "Now."

With her eyes closed Lady Arring spoke, "Ereh De Alun puta Eken Su ma. Salen day."
The spell was performed and Lady Arring disappeared through a cloud of magic dust.
"Where did she go?" The bearded Hunen god screamed in rage.
"She used the spell. The forbidden spell. She has now been reborn as a human child... somewhere in the shelters of earth a human woman is now a mother to a spirit of the clouds." Kenu said. He felt miserable at the thought of not seeing his beloved again.
The god laughed, "HA! More reason to wipe out the human race then!"

"Not if we have anything to say about it."
Jamie stood, torched in fire from head to toe staring at the caped god in front of them. Behind Jamie stood thousands of spirits, armored with swords and capes. Some firing electricity from their hands, some shooting fire or snow, some shooting powerful winds. They all aimed their magical palms at the sky, where the gods of Hunen sit around a long table. Deciding the fate of everyone around them.

"Hey brother." Kenu pat Jamie on the back. "Thanks for looking after the Sergeant."
Jamie smiled, wiping some snow from his hair. "I told him to fire at the sky."
"Good." Kenu replied glaring at the god in front of him who now seemed quite frightened.
The bearded god's eye twitched. Before a second thought he held his sword up and pulled himself back into the sky with a shock of lightning.

"There are still spirits on Hunen's side Jamie. Both Hunen and their followers will shoot down at us." Kenu watched the sky above. It was quiet, most likely preparing something bigger.
"I know. But we'll shoot them down. We've more warriors, spirit and human alike... uh, wheres Lady Arring?" Jamie asked concerned.
Kenu was silent.
"The spell?"
Kenu nodded.
"Then you should go Kenu. You do not want your age lines to collapse. You've both got to grow up as humans to meet again."
"I know but what about the battle?"
"We'll win, trust me. You and Lady Arring will be protected by the Sergeant and the rest of the humans through the war time. Now go."

After a moments thought Kenu hugged his brother Jamie. Tears fell from Kenu's eyes, "I'll see you again my brother."
"Yeah when i'm all wrinkly and you are a teenager." They both laughed. Jamie continued, "You and Lady Arring have got a safe, long, new life ahead of you. Take it."
"Yeah... thanks Jamie. It's the end of the world as I know it anyway... heh... bye."
"Bye."


Kenu walked off by himself, standing knee deep in the snow he spoke the magic spell that would turn him into a human child. "Ereh De Alun puta..........."
With the spirit life memory locked up in his mind until the human age of 18.
A human mother gave birth to Kenu.

*

The gods shot down energy at the spirits from the sky. The spirits used their powers to shoot up above, at the table of Hunen. After times passing they got closer together. Fighting in the sky, soaring through the air, over the humans that watched the battle behind unbreakable windows.

The Hunen gods were wiped out and the earth was saved.
The spirits settled the earth and cleaned up the natural mess. The humans were safe. The leader of the Hunen Kingdom in the sky made Jamie the new God. To sit at the table and rule the spirit world. The spirits loved him as their ruler. He was friendly and understanding.
Though Jamie will wait until his brother, Kenu and friend Lady Arring, (reborn) remember their past life as a spirit and join them at the table of Hunen as the new gods of earth.

Or will they decide to stay as humans, with their now human mothers and human friends?

*

Eight years on eight year old Kenu watches television in his new country house with his wonderful new family.
"Welcome to the evening news. We've got an interview today with Ernest Wilcombe, the past Sergeant of the Southern Jest Army. Ernest was full controller of evacuation throughout the worst blizzard in history 8 years ago.
He is here today to tell us why he resigned."
"Well I did my job then, but for the 8 years after no one has believed me. They all think it is utter nonsense, gods and spirits. It is not you know! A man burst into flame in front of me and then went back to normal.. oh oh and someone else jumped into the wind and flew it like he was a bird. Spectacular. No one knew why we were shooting at the sky. I did know, i saw those bad guys falling into specks of dust above. I hope i did a good job.
We're not alone folks, we're protected! And we need to take better care of this world, because it is the only one we've got."

"Thankyou Mr. Wilcombe, so when was it that you were placed into the mental asylum? 3 years ago?"
"Oh.. yes yes, 3 years ago now."



The End