A bird landed on a tree outside our office window earlier. It wanted to speak directly to Lord Elk of the South Maze Falorium.
"Sure.. i mean.. i've got him in my address book. What did you want him for?"
"I'm a wise old bird with information unsuited for such a mind. Only Lord Elk holds the brain to withstand such spoken words."
So i called Lord Elk and handed the telephone to the black bird that was now standing on my desk.
I waited as the bird held the phone up to his ear. Then it turned to me, "Sorry, did i not mention this being a private call. Could you please leave?"
Understanding the urgency i left my office and sat in the main hall where Sammy was putting up a post-it note 'Buy bread.'
Soon enough the bird opened the door and stared out at at me. "You can come in now boy."
Confused i went back into my office.
Everything was different. The walls were covered in stick built hammocks and the floor was worm-filled soil. There was a little shelf for the wine and my desk now had a typewriter and a bell.
"What do you think old boy? Top Notch update?"
"No.. No! What have you done to my office?"
"Sorry beach ball, this is my office now. Lord Elk sold it to me. Seems i offered quite a good price."
"It was apparent you had nothing to pay him. No rent. Is this true?"
"He's my dad," i answered.
"You and your monkeys are now trespassing on my land. You have fifteen minutes before i call the police. Pack up your stuff. I'm in charge."
The bird held a hand gun up to me. The bird was smiling, an evil grin.
I backed away slowly and closed the door behind me.
The bird screamed down the hall laughing, "Oh and by the way! The names Figg Lomero! And i'm officially cancelling The Daily Crumb. If you release ONE article after this, you'll be sent right to jail. I have that power."
Soon enough me and the monkeys ended up out in the sand.
So, without a job, or a home.....
This cell seems pretty good.
So now i'm writing articles from this jail cell. Sorry guys, it is quite difficult to get news while i am behind bars.
Well Nick let me borrow his laptop.
Here is a party we had at the Daily Crumb a few weeks ago...
oh and an old song released by Ekalopse music man, the General.
Youtube description of below:
Band member, 'the General' released this song today. It is an old unreleased song with vocals from every member of the band. Pupendai, Mr. Bindy and The General himself.