Wednesday, December 27, 2006

The Turkey Ran away with the Spoon

In the news today toilet roll is necassary when you use the loo for a number 2, people are wondering if there is such thing as a 2.5 or possibly a 3 because they think they've done it and they are surprisingly discusted and wonderous at the same time.


I've been reading some childrens books, thanks to DAVEinstituteofbooksandthingsthatinvolvepaper.com, check it out.

The things in them are mind numbing, things like.
Spots found a ball
Spots going to play with it
What are you doing now Spot?
Oh! you've lost the ball now
It's not in the crocodiles mouth is it?
Oh, theres mummy
Safely home
Oh! you've lost the ball now Spot!

So I've decided to write my own little books:

Spot and the missing harmonica.

Spot, you've found a harmonica!
Who on giddy earth would have left a harmonica here???? They must be a right numb nut!
Whats that Spot? A knife?
Dont touch it, it might be dangerous.
Oh, naughty spot, you touched it, now you are bleeding!
Awww, you've lost the knife Spot, but at least the harmonicas still in your mouth, but dont choke.
Aww, Spot! You choked, at least that giant boulder landed on your back and hit it out of your mouth!
Spot?
Spot?
Harmonica, you've found a crocodile!

And now, to the serious things, childrens novels and TV shows, all kids shows today are made either by the British, the USAans or the Australians (Thats right, they are going up in the world) I dont see Africa helping along with entertaining the younglings?
Well, i'll hitch in for them, cause im a nice bloke.

The Fluffy Red Sparrow episode 1

"Forgive my archery your majesty, i did not realise the arrows point was aimed at your stomach."
"It is fine young sir, now you go diddle daddle down the old market place and grasp us some old choc chip biscuits and a tub of apple juice my good sir."
"I swear on the queens heart i will return with every resource of your need your majesty, but before i go? could i take one more try at getting the target?"
"Yes yes, my good sir."
"Oh, you've shot the arrow into the Queens stomach as well."
"Oh, i'm sorry Mrs. Queen, i do apologise."
"It is fine, young horse haired spoon nail! It will clean off in a day or two, where the sun grows larger every day, we live under a wave of enfluttment and chutterblatter taster shones!"
"Who are you? Luis Carroll?"
"No, i am the Queen."
"Oh, you've shot the Queen once again, another accident good sir?"
"No, she was getting on my nerves, and so are you."
"You've shot me again sir, what is wrong with you? Are you insane in the membrane or do you have some kind of sprout growing in the springs of your skull stone."
"Something like that yeah."
"You've shot me again."
"And me."
"Tell me something my good sir, and Queen, how come you will never die?"
"We've both starred as James Bond, we are now imortal."
"Dang."


- Nathan (munch) Viney
And now! i have a lot of DVD's to watch
Au revoir!

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