Thursday, January 15, 2009

Breakthrough Archaeologist

Today in the news birds angry at plane going into their personal space.

Diamonds found in Musuem. Doctor Jennings chipped away at the walls, eventually finding many historic monuments. You can buy the journal of his travels at or on Amazon.

Here is a segment of his writing
"I could not believe it myself, the mona lisa! No one guessed there may have been two. But here i am, standing in front of it. Beautiful, i have a collection of diggers with me, Pete and Breks. We call him Breks because he always breaks his cereal bowls.
Actually, to be honest, it is a bit ugly. Why does she not have eyebrows? I am sure the other one had eyebrows.

I have told my crew to start digging at the wall around the picture frame. We might be able to thrust it out of the stone wall.
A red glimmer has been reported in the distance, must be a light reflection from outside the stone walls. Sirens?

Day 4
In a jail cell. Surrounding me are tall stone walls, a bucket and cobweb bed. Apparently i broke into the Louvre. I am inquiring into the idea that the Government are trying to conceal the second copy of the Mona Lisa.

I meet up with Pete and Breks in the long dining room. Chairs scattered with theives and murderers. I dont really like to be near them myself as a respectable Archaeologist.
Porridge is served. Breks broke his bowl."

Any bookshop
Adventure story about an Archaeologist that thinks hes been wrongly accused. The story takes him from research, learning study techniques, getting arrested, digging a hole, escaping, digging a hole, escaping and then digging a hole and getting stuck in it.

"Day 2
I have been down the local library and flicked through the many historical books. Guided by a Doctor Jifna i was pointed towards a collection of books.
I found one in which was based on the amazing artwork held in the Louvre, France. This is of course, where the Mona Lisa is held well done.
Behind the book was another one, exactly the same. A duplicate copy of the other Louvre book.

Of course i raised an eyebrow and realised suddenly, no one had noticed this before. I was the first to come across a second Louvre. A possible Temple of Louvre.
Well, at first i was shocked at my excellence but soon i went on to discover it was also in France, and held such treasures as a Mona Lisa. Another copy. Extraodinary.
Of course i called the crew, my pals Pete and Breks. We call him Breks because he breaks his cereal bowls.

In one day i had discovered something no one else had ever seen. When my pals heard of the discovery they were flabbergasted and agreed to help me with the dig.
Dr Jennings signing out"


Have you ever fallen into a bucket of thoughts whilst trying to concentrate on something really boring?
Of course you have
Have you ever gone to do something but then forget what you were going to do?
Of course you have
Well now i know what you've got.
A disease.
It is called 'The Chattering Mind'


Hi Kids!
Hi Foggy!


Can i just have some chips please?
What do you mean some?
Just some chips
How many?
Just a few.
But what size?
Could i have a pepsi as well?
We only do coca cola.
Ok I'll have a cola.
A coca cola?
Yes, a cola.
Ok, there you go.
No, sorry i meant pepsi.
You said coke.
No, i said Cola.
We dont do Pepsi
Ok i'll just have an apple juice, do you do nuggets?
We do. Do you want nuggets as well?
That would be nice. Chicken?
Yes, chicken.
You what?
Yes, chicken.
I'm not a chicken.
No! It is made of chicken!
What is??
The chicken nuggets!!
Well i dont want them then.
Here are your chips, would you like salt on them?
Sea salt?
Table salt.
Has the table been cleaned?

- The Daily Crumb

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