Monday, June 29, 2009

My Childhood

Another world, a world i feel like i was not a part of.

Though suddenly i remember. I had a whole play room for myself until we moved house (We were fortunate in Australia). Big backyard with a load of sand. i was a bit weird, as you'd probably imagine. Only child.
First off i was influenced by almost everything. We used to go to christmas pageants where loads of floats drive through the streets until the final one was Santa. Anyway i used to create my own pageants with a final float/toy car (A super hero dog toy i had who had his own james bond car which he was actually much bigger than :D )
Anyway apart from pageants 'SuperDog' who was a dalmatian (and i still have him somewhere today) used to have his own tv show in my mind. Whilst making whooshing sounds my eyes would be the camera as the car drove, and he flew around saving other toys.
My eyes were always the camera. Even when i walked to school id pretend i was in a TV show so when i was at home id always fall over like i was a clumsy character. No one else knows this about me. I was constantly in tv shows and movies until one day i learnt to stop.
It was when i was getting older and siblings and young cousins were growing up. Suddenly my attitude to the world was not appreciated anymore. Nothing could be a fiction. So i ended up becoming an animator/writer/filmmaker haha

But i got sidetracked!
In my playroom i used to make dinosaur zoos. With cardboard buildings. I'd have characters that looked after the dinosaurs.
Also, back to me being weird
In the sand i used to build prisons. But it was mainly for death... there was a pit i remember, i would make it really dramatic the toys screaming for life until they sunk.
Or as memories are flowing back to me i would build a town / or maybe use the pageant and create a sort of volcano with blankets. The red blanket would slowly move towards the town as lava.
So as well as happy super heroes saving slow motion falling toys there was a lot of dramatic deaths!

I loved when it rained, the play room had a metal roof. Suddenly I was part of weather control, i'd be falling around as a tornado hit in my imagination.

Thinking back i wish i never grew up. Now i know how Michael Jackson felt haha

See i could easily do that now and be happy to, but what would distract me would be reality, the fact i have things to be doing, i cannot live without money or finishing college work. Though i would also be thinking, why can i not achieve this amazing camera angle in flash??

- The Daily Crumb

Sunday, June 28, 2009

The news at 10

Across the world the time ticks away. But over here, in the United Kindom the clock strikes 10. Until you have finished reading this article on the all important news your time will STOP.
No clock will tick around you.
The Daily Crumb sending news to you from around the world. We have journalists in Sydney, China, Africa, Wales, Wheels, Warrington Sales, France, Japan, Ireland, Lapland. From America to Arabia, from Ireland to Scotland.
Every news reporter is waiting for that phone call.

Two days ago we called our man in America. He was not avaliable so we left a messege. He eventually called back and told us what we were all dreading.
Michael Jackson died in Los Angeles! Our reporter was in Salt Lake city enjoying some heated up donuts!
So it has taken quite a while to get down there but we just got a fax through from our reporter, Linal Jykmax who only does this part time.
"Found the hospital. Lots of people around. Nice sunny day, loving the sun out. Twitter me."
But he did find Michael Jackson roaming the place. Which i personally find hard to believe.
"Michael, what do you have to say about your sudden death?"
"Well i have a cut in my tongue. I find it really irritating when i eat. I think i ate a mars bar too quickly, it cut through. Either that or i bit it accidently. Though i do not remember doing that. I know it sounds crazy."
Lily Allen was also at the scene crying her eyes out.
"Hi, i'm from the Daily Crumb what do you have to say about the death?"
"I think you're really mean. I think you're really mean."
A fat man was also eager to be interviewed.
"He should have gone a heroes death! Jumping out of a helicopter, rope tied to the helicopter and his leg. Suddenly the helicopter is being pulled towards him, on the side of a cliff! Bang helicopter rips open. He's just saved the lives of millions but died an epic death.
At the moment it is, "How did he die?" "I don't really know, the point is that he's dead waaaaa" I love death and this was a big chance for him. I hope this makes your British paper some juicy. "

"Linal Jykmax, Daily Crumb News, Jacksonville."

I know what you're thinking.
Not only did Linal go to the wrong place but Linal Jykmax also just wasted a minute or so of your time! WRONG
As mentioned at the beginning time stopped when you began reading this NEWS of the day/night. No time has been wasted. No worries.

Also in the news

James Roland from East Yorkshire has emailed us saying "The ice caps are melting."
Though mine is doing fine.

I love my ice cap. I used THE SECRET to get it.

Sammy the Monkey was not avaliable today but he promises an article for the next issue. I hope you have enjoyed the first installment of the new series.

Also in the news
How do you stop an elephant from charging?
By removing his batteries!

Yes this article took almost an hour to write. But will take no time at all when reading.

Now, i must give you your time back now. I do not want to become a power freak.

Your time belongs to you from

heh heh

ok yeah


- The Daily Crumb

---- To those in email. You are now subscribed to The Daily Crumb----

Saturday, June 27, 2009

The End of the Daily Crumb

Today in the news i do suppose every article needs a head-line, a big title. A title that pulls in the readers.
We got an email in today asking that we play Eminem's new single 'Something about my mumma in a cupboard'. When i replied that the Daily Crumb was no longer doing a radio show they cried in text form *Crying*
They asked us if we'd keep their name hidden as they were ashamed of what their family might say about contacting us.
Apparently across the planet parents are banning their children from reading The Daily Crumb.
A poll taken by a fine arts university in Wales said, "Pathetic online newspapers like The Daily Crumb are only read by those that are forced. Like you."

As Sammy the Monkey seems to be drinking more coffee than writing his novel we sent him over to Wales to find out more.

Sammy: "So does anyone stumble by and become attached to it's weekly mayhem?"
Professor Eastwood of Fine Arts and Poll Delivery Settlements spoke: "No. If anyone WERE to stumble past and like what they read they would be drunk and never return."
"And those that are forced?"
Professor Eastwood of Fine Arts spoke: "Well there is a hated system named BlogSend Address. The makers, YOU, like any spambot steal email addresses and stick them in this BlogSend box. Then, any article you release gets sent right to them.
Unsuspecting readers get a dose of The Daily Crumb, enough to make them cringe."

Before i go on here is a picture of Professor Eastwood

He was not smiling when our Sammy turned up in his kitchen.

Eastwood is quite a leader in education and has persuaded parents across the world to ban their children from the lies of our newspaper.
"Children's brains are the most important things in the world. They are always learning new important things. Common daily lies and things do not help the children of the world to learn things. It is like biting at a living creature, whether human or animal. When they die you've lost a mind to teach and the thing is dead."
Not sure what he was talking about then.

His face was more like this

Yes, he did turn black and white. It was quite amazing.

"Ongoing stupid pathetic lies about the world, abstract stupid pathetic ongoing crud filling the minds of our children and elders.
For this reason i want The Daily Crumb banned from every family home as well as from the internet."

Professor Eastwood recently sent a letter to the God of internet asking whether our website could be cut off.

Bad news folks. They agreed with the wonderful Professor David Eastwood and The Daily Crumb will go offline this monday.
It has been nice knowing you all. Well not knowing any of you, you're all victims of
'The Daily Crumb BlogSendVirus.'

Goodbye from us

- The Daily Crumb

I'm just joking

Friday, June 26, 2009

Obama kills a fly

The interview was moved to another date as they had enough to write about for one day.

Tragic news hits the world

Today in the news amazed visitors eat at edible traffic lights. Each colour a new amazing flavor.
Though drivers have fallen into a spiral of confusion as a result of this.

Also in the news Michael Jackson, the 'man-boy' as Paul Mccartney likes to say passed away yesterday.
Michael was born on August 29, 1958 and was an instant success from an early age. He moved on from his brothers with the Jackson five and took the world by storm as a musician and performer.
Unfortunately after a few brilliant hits Michael had a terrifying experience, he saw a ghost. His face was condemned for life.
He felt awkward with such a change of face and took the route to plastic surgery. This failed and all the surgeon did was accidently chip off his nose.
The media continued to annoy his personal life by claiming he had many operations. But as Michael said, he only had the two to help improve his ghost shocked face.

He never spoke of the ghost that shocked his eyes to the widened look of an anime character but some suspect it was the one handed captain hook of his nightmares.

But hopefully he died a happy man boy knowing millions wanted to see him live one last time before he possibly retired (The London Shows.)
Though The Times said: "He can stand the sight of a hundred zombies but not one supernatural ghost experience."

Yvette Fielding said: "I was quite lucky i suppose. In my most haunted experience i have only seen one ghost and all it did was change my hair colour and make me fat."

On a brighter note Blur are still alive.

- The Daily Crumb

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Ponyo on a Cliff and more news

Today in the news "I'm not really the stig."

Studio Ghibli's next film to be released in English is PONYO ON A CLIFF.
But renamed for english release as PONYO. Sounds about right.
Anyway, the great new trailer has come out.
With Liam Neeson doing the voice of the colourful magic guy.

I am looking forward to its release.
(It says theatres, does that mean only in America?)

Though they have made it out to be an epic adventure for Ponyo to save the planet? I am not sure how that works out with the original story.


Also in the news
The Chasers War on Everything has struck the BBC.
Broadcast on Tuesdays BBC4

After looking at some of the original episodes it looks like they have refilmed some of their chattering on the sofas and edited a load of their best bits together for a shorter 6 episode series. They may have also editted it for UK audiences. (With all of the Australian Political humour)

Talking of the Chaser in the UK
They came to the UK recently to film. I have not seen this episode yet but i found a long sketch from it broadcast today.
As you all know the STIG was revealed this week. This was filmed before this.
It is very funny

- The Daily Crumb

Thursday, June 18, 2009

New Animation

Today in the news milk bottle

We made an animation in a day...
and it is like nothing you have seen before.

This animation is another in the series of
LAZYMATIONS, things like PAPA FAT and so on. Lazymations for lazy people.
This is one of them.

Please enjoy

you can watch it here extra large and in Vector.

- The Daily Crumb

Wednesday, June 17, 2009


Today in the news phantom lunchbox aquires air mask. The paperwork says "Land at point 3 on map, coloured spot. Green arrow, green dots our men. Alert over mountains, Phantom Lunchbox in darkness. Body guard Simon the Hedgehog. Guns at the ready.
Red side, red dots. We turn these to red splatters. Parachutes: Organised by Toaster. Toaster remains to blame if all fails in the air department.
Officials signed paper work with red stamp and Biro Bill. Biro Bill has upgraded to charge of Phantoms. Though he must not interfere with their work. Only guide.

Also in the news
Sam Smith, the animator behind Plummet and director of the Zombie Train Station music video has released another short animation.
It is the first in hopefully a long run of cartoons starring the character, Nigel.

I am also the voice of the shop keeper.

Sammy is here once again with more of the weeks news

"Hey everyone. I'm just sat here listening to music. I have put my novel to rest for a little while. I'm eating gravy droppings on hot chips. There is no better meal in the winter time. The window is just a fog at the moment.
I have of course been keeping up to date with the important news of the world.
Through various news websites.

I basically searched
THE NEWS into google and got the all important, Portsmouth news.

Though Portsmouth news was full of death death drugs, gunshots, bodies in rivers. It was not a pretty site, or sight even.
That is the news today."
Sammy the Monkey, Daily Crumb Studios, Penny Lane."


Come on Sammy, is that ALL?
What am i paying you for??
"To take breaks in between my busy schedule to write some freaking sentance of news each week."
Yes. I also gave you that nice office, don't you forget that.
"The novel will be worth it."
How do you know that?
"I just do."
Next week give us some REAL news. ok?
"Right, whatever. Now stop talking to me on skype, i am busy."


Thankyou for reading.
It never occured to me that reading The Daily Crumb would be a chore. Now i realise it is and i apologise for this.
For that reason the Daily Crumb Team are taking 2 weeks off. (This was after some complaints we recieved from the ABC)
Once again the complaints were saying our writer, The Medium (Who is currently on holiday to recharge) was an offense to real mediums and spiritual people.
These spiritual communities need to learn that Nathaniel Tinga, Professional Medium is actually mentally insane.

- The Daily Crumb

Monday, June 15, 2009

The BIG News

Today in the news

Above is our new slogan. We feel it will bring in the big customers. This is rather than the small and thin ones that normally open our newspaper.

You may not notice it but The Daily Crumb has had a whole new face lift. Sure it's not exactly noticeable but it is all in the mind.
We bought a new car and even a new studio. Sammy the Monkey has decided to split from his NOVEL writing to write a little article for us every paper.
So all in all we are in a very happy place.

Recently i asked the medium whether he could contact the old Daily Crumb writer, Daniel (Vector) Kerr. He did eventually get through but ended up shouting curse words at me.
Thats Vector for ya.

The studio is not huge but big enough for me and Sammy to have our own offices. I am going in a partnership to publish his novel while he writes for the Crumb.

"My novel is coming along fine. I have reached a point where i am struggling with dialogue. The main character and the villain of the piece are speaking to each other. It is set in the centre hall of a rather large mansion.
The story i may reveal closer to the release date.
So onto the basic news of this week.

A custard factory is actually struggling to keep themselves floating in the buisness world. The factory is Clements Custard Factory of East Street, Foundhalls.
Mr. Clement the second said to me, "We are basically running out of cash. Our custard sales are being pushed aside by the releases of new Ipods."

Sammy the Monkey, Daily Crumb Studios, Penny Lane."


Was there no more on that one Sammy?
Nothing more exciting this week?
"Sorry. Must get back to writing this novel. Stop Skyping me."
Oh.. ok. Thankyou for that Sammy the Monkey.

In other news

Clements Custard Factory of East Street EXPLODES!

the end

- The Daily Crumb

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

John Lasseter reads the Daily Crumb

Today in the news Kevin Rudd reacts to a comment made by Gordon Ramsay. How does Kevin have the time?
Also in the news Gordon attempts to sue the team behind the soap, Neighbours for stealing his name for their title street, Ramsay.


John Lasseter, one of the many big minds and decision makers behind Pixar, and now Disney. Director of most of the original Pixar shorts and films including Toy Story 1 and 2 and Cars.

Suddenly become JEALOUS after reading an earlier Article of the Daily Crumb.

John noticed a certain British Animator named, Nick Park had visited Studio Ghibli to view a Wallace and Gromit display in the musuem.

He was not happy. He had this to say:
"I have been pals with Hayao and that producer guy for so many years. Since you know... that movie with the slugs. And i love PIXAR, i feel we've put a lot of thought into our stories. For the last few years me and the team have put a lot of effort into releasing these American Dubs of the Studio Ghibli films.
It was painful work, we even had to work with Christian Bale. But pushing that aside i thought our friendship was strong. My family even took him out to dinner when he came over for Howls Moving Castle.
Then this! A big exibit for Wallace and Gromit? I've met Nick, he's a nice guy, probably drunk though constantly. I thought we were buddies, i thought i was his only english speaking animator dude guy.
This is a bit of a triangle and i am not happy."

Soon afterwards John caught the first plane there to make sure his friendship was still strong.

I love that car.
By the look of it Nick and John's battle of the Genius Japanese Director is really interrupting his work. (Based on his clothing)

"It seems Nick was just a one day thing. It was not real like us. Me and him have gone back further than time itself.
I actually arrived right after Nick left which came as a happy surprise to Miyazaki. The only reason we have not worked together is because i dont understand what he's saying."

And a Studio Ghibli translator told us:
"John Lasseter keeps visiting and touching my shoulders. Could you ask Americans to keep him away?"

John was jealous of the artwork and signings other artists had done on the Ghibli Musuem Wall.
So he made his extra big to see.
As you can see Bob Peterson also did some artwork as well

Nathan Viney
The Daily Crumb Studios Tokyo.

Friday, June 05, 2009

Adam Phillips Super Hero and Nick Park visits Studio Ghibli


Today in the news irrational airport alliances are decidedly pleased to death by Social Soul Predictors of Utopian ages. They say "It brings grand pleasure and wellingship to us that relys only on which we have seen from various past experiences." It was noted by Airmanship Spokesman Steven Shill-shellington of Showsberry Station that "all was bright through rather glimmering lenses. Though bald was the bride to be precise to our pages."
Letter opener Harold Hanesley Hound Hansen who heard a hill top past the granary rice fields said, "Spokesman Steven Shill-shellington of Showsberry Station shouted in shameful chandeliers of guilt. No word of his welcomed our stage that afternoon."
Fred on the sidewalk asked, "What the hell is going on?"
"We're not sure ourselves Fred. We've just been trying to keep up with how fast these people speak. Did you see any of the events at hand?"
"What.. today?"
"Yeah, Dairy and Cain McRebble shifted into jar power of a glass in the face kind. Though pretty miss Lawson only missed the ceilings clash of what we share as wisdom and for shame. "


Miles away from that*out of this world* wedding stood Adam Phillips. A man of many talents, a man with giant hands. So giant, he used them to walk, like a gorilla.
His gorilla steps could be heard cities away in a ripple of energy. These earthquakes killed a lot of the elderly.
He had a cape tied around his neck. He stood tall and roared over the shaken mountains. Yes, you can tell i am in the holidays now.
Adam Phillips stepped down from the large pile of dead bodies. He landed with a splat of bloody bear feet.
"It took a while. But now everyone on earth is dead."

And what do you know, every mountain that surrounded him were actually large piles of bodies. He called upon Jeanette who was ready with a golden medal and a congratulations.
After her smile a sudden blink of light crashed their eyes and the simulation was complete.
"Wow! I did well that round."
Jeanette patted the super hero on the back. "Yes you did."
Adam walked over to his office and sat down in front of the computer. "I guess it's back to the freelance!"
Jeanette walked into the other room and placed the simulation goggles over her eyes.

Suddenly giant pieces of cardboard shot at her from all directions. She was caught by surprise and hit backwards onto a colourful jigsaw puzzle floor. As she rolled over the pieces, music sounded in a mellow key and they lit up.
She pulled herself up from the glowing floor and noticed a sword was in her hand, a shield in the other. She could suddenly move at amazing speeds. She shot across the jigsaw ground setting it a light. Fire burned behind her soaring legs as she ran across the simulated world.

And Adam and Jeanette never saw day light again.

What a story

But what i was actually going to talk about was this animation Adam made quite a while ago. He did, when he showed it to me give permission to post it on the Crumb. Though after reading the above he probably has changed his mind.

A super hero animation for a competition Adam entered for Flashkit.
This was MAY 21. enjoy


In other news the great Hayao Miyazaki met Nick Park recently. Hayao has actually been a huge fan of Aardman for a while now.

"Nick took a trip to the main building, situated around 40 minutes from Tokyo centre, where he was introduced to studio founder Hayao Miyazaki and his producer Toshio Suzuki."

Inside the Ghibli musuem of amazing artwork and models from the films they actually had a Wallace and Gromit exhibition.
"Business called in the afternoon as Nick was interviewed by Mr Suzuki for his weekly radio show. Nick then attended the press preview of A Matter of Loaf and Death and met the new Japanese voice cast. Needless to say the 60 seat cinema at Ghibli was packed to rafters with people standing to get a view of the film which received a great response from everyone there."

Nick signed the wall for the exhibition.

Info and Pictures from

- The Daily Crumb

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Unsettled, The story of Jonty Williams.

Today in the news

WARNING excessive violence


I waved to my house from beside the taxi. So much history was soaked into those walls, three generations of first steps. With all of the other grubby houses down that road ours was the one that stood out. It was it's polished wood walls and tall windows. At night we'd light lanterns and hang them on each side of the front door for all of the neighbourhood to glare at.

I stared off from the house to see a swing. A thick plank of wood tied by rope to a tall lemon tree. Though all of the lemons were rotten and the tree was not showing any sign of growing any more. This was the (very large) grassy garden. The property was guarded by a tall wooden fence. The garden didnt really have much else than the swing but the mini tree's that multiplied along the fence all the way around were enough enjoyment. We'd run and hide and play various games crawling through the bushes and branches like caves. We'd have to move as fast we could as the giant stomping creature would break through behind us and pull us out.

The wind suddenly blew sweeping past the bell that hung above the front door. My Grandad always wanted to own a shop, just a little corner shop. His favourite thing was to have garage sales... in the living room. He'd buy stuff just to sell it because of the thrill of being his own boss. He was quite strange like that. But I never minded playing shop with the plastic food and drinks as well as various toys around the house.

"Where are you heading?" The taxi driver said to my surprise. I had zoned out. The taxi driver didn't realise this was the last time i'd see the house i'd lived in all of my life. "Drive until i tell you to stop."
And that money metre kept on rising. The pounds even went up when the vehicle was stopped at traffic lights. The taxi pulled into a petrol station and parked by the pumps. "Won't be a minute."
He walked off into the shop, his figure became blurry through the window and soon disapeared behind shelves of chocolate bars. I stared up at the blinking metre, still rising even as i sat there. that couldn't be right.
I pushed open the door and stepped out feeling the cold breeze hit my face. It had been ever so warm in the car. As i closed the door behind me i could hear the gossiping radio turn to mumble. I had my backpack with me, all my possessions. I lifted it with my right hand and fitted my arms through. Then i stood up straight breathing in that cold petrol air.

Why was i leaving my house? The house we'd lived in for so many years? My grandparents, my parents and us? I was leaving because of the dark in the night. Because of the people under the bed. My name is not important, not in the scale of things. My age is as as young as an adult can be to cope with such things.
"Why are you out of car?" I heard the taxi driver behind me as i stepped closer towards some bush, packed bag on my back. "Hey! You!" His voice eventually faded. His money cares were now nothing to do with me. I had a schedule to keep and if that fat cabbie is going to stop for a bar of chocolate so be it. But i was not going to miss this deadline.

It was nature from then on, walking on my own. If i were thinking straight at the time i'd have noticed the birds, the sunlight through the trees. The unique colours and lights that shone across the ground at sunny day time. But in my view i only saw red.
As i walked the trees surrounding me got further away leaving me even more alone. This was until i came across the centre tree. This grew red glowing fruit from bottom to top. A man was leaning across the tree, smoking.
"Williams! Jonty Williams!" He shouted waving the cigarette with unsettled humour. My wondering face turned to a straight frown as i noticed him. I stopped in place, my mountain boots kicking up a storm of sand.
"You kept to the time, have you got the DVD?"
This is of course what happens when you make films all of your life, one of them will make someone angry.
My documentary had revealed an underground group of blood thirsty murderers. I interviewed a chain of people until they led me to the final place. After staring through a rabbit hole of cobwebs i found what looked to be a giant bomb shelter hidden under the soil of this very park. The reason for murder was not any of a religious nature, not revenge or political. They were cannibals. If it was not for my big mouth my family would not be dead. My camera by my side i captured the extra ordinary footage of the group at work.
The film was going to be released like any good feature length documentary. A whole bunch of research to fill up the beginning and middle and then a good fulfilling ending. I had studied into this for years until i finally found them and that was my fulfilling ending.

The one that i hoped would get the authorities attention and make me a well remembered film maker.
But after releasing information of my film to various commisioners and competitions the word got out and even made the news. The whole country was waiting for the release. This is exactly how sick the world is, they want to see this horrible sight (In it's edited form) on their big screen cinemas. Wide screen bone crunching Documentary action.
Based on how quickly information spreads due to the popularity of internet and television my Mother was killed on that afternoon.
It was dark, the crickets sung. She was hanging up the washing and breathing in that fresh air only the night gives. The less you can see, the more you notice based on the human senses.

Oddly enough it was a microwave to the head. The heavy metal box smashed into the back of her skull and pushed her to the ground. Blood droplets on the grass blades, glass in her skin. They left the bloody microwave lying in the long grass waiting for the mornings eyes. The body was dragged from her legs over the fence and crushed into a garbage bag. This left a shiny red splash along the polished wood. My younger sister was the first to see it. It is difficult to recall.

I had no idea this was to do with the film at that point. I was still in total shock and straining to understand what was going on. At the same time i tried to ignore everything lost and control myself to look after what i still had. I took care of my sister well, i bought her a small tent to put in my holiday room (I lived up in Cornwall but often came to visit my family a few times a year). She was always in that tent, reading comics and clicking the torch on and off. She was 5 and didn't really understand what was going on. Her shock was that her mother had gone to heaven, but she did not know how or why. Well, no one knew why.
My grandparents told her that some hooligans had thrown a microwave over the fence in a drunken state. Though i don't think she understood that either.
My father was away on a skiing trip with work. He was planning to come back this week but ended up breaking his leg. We never found time to tell him about my mother before he disapeared over seas.

It was another horribly gloomy and claustrophobic morning for me as i wondered down the stairs to answer the piercing phone. I picked it up, it was a woman. She had a calm voice but very quiet. It was like she was trying to avoid me even though she couldn't have been much further away. She was apparently at the skiing lodge asking whether my father contacted us.
We got no replies from his mobile for a week. We were organising a quiet funeral for my mother. It was generous of the group to leave the garbage bag in the neighbours backyard.

That was when i got the letter. It slid through the door and patted lightly on the *Welcome to the store* mat below.
I slowly leant down and picked it up noticing my sketchy name from a far distance.
"Jonty Williams, film maker.
I suppose you didn't get our messege. We've been watching you. We expected you to destroy it but you didn't.
I will meet you at the town centre tommorow at 2 o clock.
See you then.
- You can guess."

It had finally dawned on me that I was to blame for my mothers death. Though i stood with the letter shaking in my hand for a very long time. In a slight dramatic act i pressed the letter into my pocket and roamed off to sit down.
I sat for a very long time.
I was very scared, i was scared for myself and for my family. I had killed my mother through an act of creativity and popularity.
I sat down, sinking into the sofa staring at the letter. I subtly noticed the sun disapearing and then rising through the blinds beside me. Soon the letter was soaked with tears.

"Do you want to buy a pack of strawberries Jonty?" My sister was skipping around the living room in front of me. "We can go down to the local. They have the loveliest strawberries."
I nodded with a weak smile.

At the store i saw a whole new light. The world was colourful and bright, it had been so long sat in darkness. There were rings under my eyes as i stumbled after my skipping sister. She roamed the shop for chocolate and drinks, more than asked originally.
Because i was so tired and lost in thought i ended up buying almost everything she put on the counter.

The television was on when we got home. It had gotten dark by the time we'd entered the front hall. The light from the TV was blinking in a bright white over the walls.
"Come on, off to bed." I said finally cheering up a little, nudging my sister up the stairs. As usual she skipped up to the holiday room and leaped into her small triangular tent switching the torch on to read a comic.

I walked into the dim lit kitchen and poured myself some chocolate milk.
After feeling the cold milk slide down my throat i relaxed all of my muscles. In my head i was thinking, this, is the time to totally relax. Calm, and think of nothing but happiness.
This didn't last long when i noticed the time. It was 9 o clock the day after i got the letter.
"I will meet you at the town centre tommorow at 2 o clock."

A sudden chill shot through my body.
I pulled the blanket over me in bed and stared up at the ceiling. The room was pitch black apart from a torchlight dimmed through the tent. It moved from side to side every now and then when she turned a page.

Luckily my eyes slowly shut.
Then i heard the scream. It was the high pitched scream of a 5 year old girl in shock. I pulled myself up and turned to the side staring down. The torchlight was stuck on the shocked face of my sister staring. Her pupils had become larger in the darkness, though she did not move, not even a twitch.
"What is it?" I asked worried. At this point in time i had no memory of any incident with a letter, a murder or even having a career in film making. When awoken from sleep in such a shocking way you think of nothing and rarely pay attention to the thing that woke you up.
She had stopped screaming but her face was the same.
I slowly leant over following her point of view. This lead me to look under my bed. Two crumpled up bodies lay motionless, crushed together. Blood puddles expanded out from underneath and onto my sisters hands and knees.
She lifted her hands slowly in shock and placed them upon her face leaving a blood stain dripping from her cheeks.

I'd like to say i was a hero and helped my sister avoid eyes of such horror. I'd like to say i picked her up and ran for a rainbow. But i blacked out, an odd natural occurance. I blacked out, picked my sister up and crashed into the living room pushing her beside a chair. I threw my head into the back of the the sofa i'd sat earlier and then lost all will to move. I flopped down and closed my eyes. Tears began to flood.
My sister saw who it was, our grandparents. She hugged me. The house had more tears than blood that night.

It was inevitable that my sister would not be there in the morning.
All was a blur until my eyes focused on the day. I pulled myself up and noticed i was no longer on the sofa but on the floor.
I had a pain in my stomach. I looked down and noticed a piece of paper sat there, stapled into my skin. I went woozy, i'm sure if this were a cartoon my face would have been bright green. I quickly ripped the paper from my stomach. It bled a bit, but nothing to worry about, especially when i noticed my sister was gone.
I whaled loudly in distress.
I held the sheet to my eyes and read in a drunken form.
"Jonty Williams, Film Maker.
4 o clock. You know where. Don't tell anyone.
- Us."

And that's why i left the house.
"I waved to my house from beside the taxi. So much history was soaked into those walls"


"Yes i have the DVD." I said to the man stood by the tall, healthy tree.
This was one of the people id interviewed a few weeks earlier. Doctor Aran Lemins. Yes that is right, A Doctor. These people of authority i did not expect to be apart of the Cannibal Group. First i contacted a few people that had seen or experienced things relating to my research. These people had put me onto others they had spoken to, those onto others. Soon enough the mark stopped at a few, those in authority, Doctors, Policemen and it is not difficult to pick out The Mayor on the video recording. The video recording of a group of men and women eating at a human leg. The video recording of your local Doctor pouring the blood from a sliced head into a jar for later.

"I want my sister." I was lost in a dark cloud of anger, hatred and revenge. The man was just smiling, holding his cigarette out.
"If you don't hand me the DVD her head will be all we leave for you."
Wrong. I'd done my research. In all of history the underground Cannibal Group had never once eaten a child. As they move along remains are left leaving autopsies the only answer. Though from those a child had never been found. It was something they abided by based on their own children.
If a Doctor can hide that he is a cannibal from you. Then a mother or father could easily hide it from their families.
Though the Doctors and Police always blamed the deaths on wild animals. Now we know why.

"Well i can't stand here all day. I have patients to attent to Mr. Williams." He blew a puff of smoke into the air that faded away in the small wind. The kind of wind that pulls light leaves along the pavement with shifting sounds.
I felt a tear fall from my eye. I imagined my eyes be bloodshot red from both anger and crying. "Let me see her at least." There was desperation in my voice.

"Well if you're going to be like that..." Doctor Lemins turned and walked off. "You know where the entrance is."
I took from this, these words. "You know where we meet, come inside so we can put an end to that."
It was a death trap, as soon as i'd enter i'd be knifed in the back, cut up by surprise. They'd laugh as my sister watched and cried. This was the sort of people they were. But i needed to see her, i needed to save her.

If you've ever made a trap by digging a large hole and then covering the top with sticks, leaves and grass to camouflage it you'll know what the entrance looked like. It was basically that but with a stone door instead of sticks.
From above a person may wipe the leaves away but only find a stone floor, much like a lot of this area. But underneath meet the deadliest group in history.
Of course i'd been there before, i ruined mine and many other lives by doing it. All i am saying, is it is so very hard to forget.
When my exploration came to the stone i was, naturally disappointed. But soon i thought beyond the obvious and explored the soil to find the edges of the stone. This is when i put all my strength in and pushed it aside. Below lit a surprising light undergrowth. The ceiling of the large room below was covered in hanging roots which gave it a nice touch. Then i looked down to see various skulls and blood patches and i knew i'd found the place.
I came back that night and slid the stone ever so slightly away giving the camera it's peak hole. The sounds i heard were enough to make me feel ill let alone the footage.

They were waiting in the darkness below as i slipped down through the hole. My feet patted on the soil below me and i noticed the sudden darkness below. There were about six of them, standing quite far away from me hidden in the shadows. The only one visible was Dr. Alan Lemins. They continued to stare, i took this as a note to close the stone door above me, so i did. I silently shrieked with how heavy it was, one of my fingers getting slowly crushed. When it was done I pulled my self together and stared.
Dr. Lemins spoke: "I've asked them not to kill you. Just in case you've hidden it somewhere it can be found."
I nodded in agreement. In fact, i stupidly had brought the DVD in my back pack. Though they were not to know.
Dr. Lemins: "Did you like your presents?"
Suddenly a shock thriller clip show of images stormed past my eyes. The bloody microwave, the crushed up bodies under the bed and the horrible sound of a human being eaten alive among gossiping murderers.
Dr. Lemins: "Our society is spread over the whole world. There are at least two in every village, ten in every town, 50 in every city."
"The more you tell me, the more i'm likely to die." I said, shaking.
"WRONG! Whether you die or not it does not matter. In the end words can be presumed as insanity. You'd end up in an asylum anyway. But footage can not be ignored after a public view."
Suddenly the cannibals in the shadows started to mumble.
"WHERE IS MY SISTER?" i shouted angry now. I actually felt like i was bending strong metal with my muscles but i held nothing.
The next thing i knew i was knocked out.

When i awoke blurring into shape was a shelf, on the shelf stood jars of blood. This was another soil floor, root ceiling room. Except there was a difference, on one wall of soil and roots were cages. Cages of people. They were screaming, ear piercing screams. Moaning and scratching the metal poles with overgrown fingernails. Their hair was in rough knots and their teeth were missing.
Though one of them seemed to sidetrack me from the horror more than any other. In the centre of the room was my father, in a cage. He was laying with his back to the bars, blood dripping from his head. At the same time as i watched the red liquid drop from him a droplet dropped from my forehead.
I tried to wipe my bloody head with a stoke of an arm but my hand would not move. I turned to see both hands were tied up with thick roots to the walls of the room.
I screamed and shook frantically, my wrists turning red as i struggled. My Father's eyes opened and he stared at me. Both eyes were bloodshot and his arms seemed weak as he put his hand on a front bar.
I was the only one not in a cage in the room. "Father..." I said.
Another lightening bolt of memory as I remembered the happier times. My father, the giant stomping creature that broke through the hedge walls of our backyard and i crawled away laughing as a child.
"Jonty..." He said.
Dr. Lemins appeared suddenly from the darkness.
"Yes, we picked him up on a skiing holiday. Neat huh? I told you we have people all over the world. We thought it would be fun if you chose whos life you wanted to save. Your sisters, or your fathers. It's all apart of the game."
I shook once again in anger. "You make me choose! You'll never get the DVD!"
Dr. Lemins made a unique hand movement, i could tell he was saying. "Look around you." I dreaded to but eventually did anyway.
As i expected my bag was gone. they'd stolen it after thumping me to the ground. Now all i was, was a piece on a chess board to them. I didn't have anything they wanted, they just wanted to watch me squirm.

The Mayor stepped out from the shadows with the shiny DVD in his hand. Dr. Lemins just seemed to watch the Mayor walk agreeing with every notion.
There was a plastic crunch as my father bit on the DVD. "Eat it all," the Mayor spoke as a leader does. I watched as my father bit down and closed his eyes. The Dvd broke in his mouth. Pieces collapsed onto the soil next to his cage.
Lemin's picked a slice of disc from the dirt and stuffed it down my fathers throat. I could not watch so closed my eyes.
"Made a choice yet?" They both stared at me with daunting eyes.

This was the biggest choice i ever had to make. I talk and listen to peoples conversations on streets, in buses. They're always complaining about missing their soaps, having to eat something they don't particularly like. But have they ever had to choose between the lives of their father and their sister?
Well... in all honesty. I was going to choose my sister. The hardest part would be having to listen to my father die as a result.
I remembered my notes, my documentary suddenly. The fact that the Cannibal group don't kill children. They did not know that i knew that. But that did not mean my sister would get away, she may have to live here.

I realised i had been closing my eyes and thinking whilst the screaming continued. When i opened them the Mayor was offering me a bleeding toe, a knife sticking through the centre. "Care for a bite?"
My father was weeping in the cage now breathing heavily, trying to stay strong for his son.
He wimpered as he spoke, "The choice is easy. You know it."
I was crying, rapids of tears were flowing down my face, "But.."
He interrupted, "No..."

I'd made my choice.
They made me watch my Father die. Long sharp knifes sliced through his arms and legs. They ripped his head off laughing and holding the chunks that fell out. One cannibal was sliding his hands in the blood and rubbing his cheek against the red soil. I remember Lemins sticking the knife into the side of my Fathers forehead and cutting a triangle of flesh away stuck onto the end of the blade. He then placed it on his tounge and crunched down. Blood splat from their mouthes like orange juice from an orange. Splatter droplets wallpapered the room and the faces of the caged victims.
And they watched me cry. They watched me lose my mind. And they laughed.


I've given up film making now. And reviewing that horrible experience has once again brought me to a mentally unstable stage.
My sister was released and so was I.
She told me her story as well, it was a little bit different than mine.
"Well the Mayor visited that night. I recognised him off TV and down the town when mummy used to point him out. Anyways he said I needed to get out of the house because he said the house was unsafe. I asked why you was not coming and he said you already had! Anyways i went to the Mayors building and met his wife and children!
They had so many toys it was like toy heaven! I bet mum will be there now, toy heaven.
It was really cool. Did you go to the Mayors house as well?"
I found i agreed with her and went on with life. It seems they really were nicer with children.

So i bought a house by the lake for us with some spare money. But soon enough i did have that mental breakdown that is expected from something like that.
I am now in a Mental Asylum. Just like that Doctor said. Getting over it. But thing i will never be able to get over. Is the fact that those ****** are still out there... killing in the dark.

My sister sends letters. I am very old now, big grey beard and still that ounce of sanity to write my story down here.
She's married now, got a son. They all live in the house by the lake and hopefully i'll be able to move back soon and be apart of the family as much as mine were apart of mine.

- Jonty Williams Story