Saturday, September 13, 2008

Parents and Teachers

Today in the news the Pottery channel on FOX and SKY television has had a complaint:

"What are my children watching? These people are teaching our kids that little men live in their heads! Today my son was trying to put tables and chairs in his ear. They were dolls house ones of course. But his younger sister was not happy with the ear waxed coffee table she found in her living room.
My son was going to walk out of the house with a musical note tie on today! If he went out like that he'd be shot for sure! By the way, i'm in America!
These channels are not safe for learning kids. We do not want them to grow up extremely dumb do we?
Please reply soon Mr. or Mrs. Government.
- Margaret Remeson
This is a real letter. NO JOKE
It is a joke.

Also in the news as BreskFEST draws to a triangular hault one man HAS SOMETHING TO SAY.
"Good morning class my name is Mr. Jacobs. Could you repeat that?"
"Good morning class my name is Mr. Jacobs. Could you repeat that"
"no, just the Mr. Jacobs please."
"Mr. Jacobs please."
"Ok, typical... unoriginal... lousy. I've got you all in a bottle and i know what you will be like. Drunken losers pregnant with alien grandchildren on the streets of some build replica set of Hollywood."
"Are you going to do the names sir?"
"Yes i suppose. No point in learning any of your names though, you'll all be nobodies by the time you leave this school. Gosh, you're nobodies already, i dont know your names!"
"My name is Ben sir."
"No, did i ask for a name? ONE! If you were important i'd know your name already and TWO what the hell kind of stage name is Ben? Mr. Jacobs, now that is memorable. Here, have two dollars."
"It's Australian."
"Oh my god. Dont tell me, locked in your rooms playing game boys until you're pulled out of the house in your dressing gowns by a metal claw, milk down your front from messy cereal and then sat by your classroom desk?"
"No it is fine, you dont need to say anything you SKUM! What does your normal teacher TEACH you? I imagine she finds it hard to cope with your terrible behaviour."
"Crayon drawings."
"Smart boy are you ******?"
"What what? i am so sorry headmaster.. i was.... the language slipped out. They are fantastic children really. They have not made one little sound, and.... yes. Best class i've EVER HAD! Arent you class? I am serious.. honestly... no really.. wow! They are silent arent they?"
"Yes they are Mr. Jacobs... One of them has said you have been whipping the children."
"I.. uh .. what?"
"The police are waiting to have a little chat in the corridor"
"I.. NEVER! I HAVE NEVER!... in my days! done anything like that! WHO TOLD YOU THIS?"
"A very reliable source."
"A STUDENT? That is not a reliable source! THEY ARE SKUM!"
"I rest my case Mr. Jacobs. you are fired."
"But my mother left me alone in a cold room! The roof had a leak! LEAVE ME BE, ME NEED MONEY."
"And a Therapist."

- The Daily Crumb

- The Daily Crumb

- The Daily Crumb


1 comment:

  1. is it pink?
    is it purple?
    ........................well is it?