Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The wipe of music

Today in the news the head of the planet George Barnable has called a meeting of the heads.
Prime Ministers, Presidents, Kings, Queens, heads of doctor who fan clubs and many others are attending.

The clock is ticking on the wall of the large meeting hall.

No news reporters are allowed within 300 metres of the building. But in this case i am being called as Head of Fiction, Penny Lane.
I sat in one of the expensive chairs.
George Barnable was sitting at the end of the table. "So, we're getting rid of music. Over the years it has gone down hill. So every musician will be shot. Got it?"
The people were shocked.
"But.."
"No bums, rappers, loudness. No musical radio, everything will be fantastic."
So that is the news today. He asked the heads to go back to their countries and organise an assasination of all musicians.


So i'm writing this late today and the world is so quiet. Jerome has not spoken, Penny Lane is silent. England is silent, the world... is silent.

And George Barnable is sitting in his armchair smiling. In peace.

"Mr. Barnable."
"Yes?"
"My names Nathan Viney. Am I the first to complain about this?"
"Yes... the others dont want to be shot."
"Oh ok."
George Barnables head exploded into blots of flesh and brain. His body collapsed backwards splashing a mesh of blood onto the wall.

I stood shocked in his office.

Behind me a soldier was holding a rifle. "I missed." He was staring at the dripping blood on the curtains of the large window.
"I killed George Barnable."
"What do you mean you missed?" I asked.
"I was aiming for you obviously... i was assigned to kill anyone who complains." He moves the gun slowly in my direction. "I might as well shoot you."
"NO! Look, whats your name?"
"Mocha Brakenfresh."
"O....k. Well, has music not influenced your life?"
"Well of course it has, i was the lead singer of The Red Hot Chili Peppers."
"Wow... um. well dont you see you've done the right thing?"
"What?"
"Killing George! You killed the ban. Now the next person in line is the ruler of the world."
"And.. thats me..."
"Huh?"
"I just shot my dad."
"Lovely.... now! You can make the world musical again. Go! Sit on that chair and be the rightful lord of Earth."
Mocha smiled and walked over to the desk. "Um.. dads bodies still on it..."
"Well... push it off."
Mocha pushed his fathers body off of the chair and sat down, smiling. "Wow."
"Feels good to be in control dosent it?"
"Yeah... anything i say will come true."
"Yep. Now just say you want music back."
"Nope... i'm going to say i want all bald people shot! I dont like them. I hate seeing my reflection."
"NO! What the... get off that chair."

3 soldiers came into the room after hearing the gunshot. "Whats happ...." They paused when they saw the blood above Mochas head.

Mocha was sent to life in prison. I was sent home to have a some hot chocolate.
The new leader of Earth position was given to the worthy Tony Blair.

- The Daily Crumb

1 comment:

  1. Ban of Music, assasination of all musicians! That's genius!
    Hey leave the baldies alone!

    ReplyDelete