The Daily Crumb

Today in the news officers at a jail found many guns and knives when they emptied the shoes of a clown inmate.
The clown said, "I thought they'd leave my shoes alone with them being such icons for me as a clown."
The clown later escaped the jail when officers failed to search his big red nose.
Officer Blinglet said: "I thought it rude to pull off a part of his clown image. The shoes were enough, but his nose?? I am not that insanely thoughtless."

Officer Blinglet was given a 'Badge of Freedom' award and ceremony. It is believed the clown may have attended.
Rumour is he is no longer dressed as a clown so he will be much harder to track down. Officer Blinglet had this to say, "With a new face i think he should be given a chance on the streets until his new identity crosses the line."

JUST IN!
Oh there you are, sit down and shut up. Do you know how much effort i put into making these lunches Justin? Too much!

The clown was apparently gunned down.

*

"I dont like it, my arms stick to the tables. There is visible smoke at shoulder height."
"This is the place man. Everyone comes here."
"It is gloomy and everyone looks like they're going to hit you."
"These are THE people. The best people. Yo!"
"Dont, they'll get angry."
"No, look he just waved."
"And fell off his chair. Obviously drunk."
"Well, thats why we're here."
"To fall off our chairs?"
"No, to get drunk."
"Where is my gun?"
"Where did you last have it?"
"In that theatre where i shot Russel Brand in the head."
"You probably left it there then."
"Yeah probably. Lucky though, you were going to be next."
"I sure am."
"Ahhh."
"Awww."
"mhm"
"Ahh"