Wednesday, October 22, 2008

How to write a Resume

Today in the news Enid Blyton appeared for a second due to a shock in time.

How to write a Resume/CV with Mr. Mood.

Orright lets began.
First fing off is to start with the awesomeness that is my name.
Mr. Mood. Then give em sumthin to laugh at like a lil joke or sumthin near your address. My address is a bit secret so ill blink it out
blink blink blink, Walkhampton, Drive carefully would you? (That was the joke! See! It real captures the onlookers lookings it does. Dont worry, i aint got a chainsaw.)
If you like you can look up a cheesey off up on the interwebs but dont worry bout hat if you dont feel like having the time hey hey!
So we onto the um , the wumbers now. The wumbers are the code that is on your post box and you hav to liek swap it and put it on the paper. So go ahead and do that now and we'll get started.
So this is a resume i made earlier.

Dear Mrs. (Dont write Miss, or Mr if it is a married woman ok? Or an old woman who is not married or sumthin caus it dont matter. Hatch! Dont woz bout everything. But it is very important if you feel like it matters)
So i'm writing Dear Mrs. Menhenick (Caus this was bak when he was a woman see.)
Nah just kidding, but you can put that if you like it will make them laugh for the funny.
So anyway you can speaks about the weaver if you like.

"Oh the weaver is raining. Allthat jazz. Look, im gunna go and grab and stacks to eat and if you like yuo cvan eat with me on a lil coffee table or watever with chocolate cake and we can talk about paying me and how good would that be! com sit down!"

It is very important to impress your reader/reasdems.
So is the bells youi hear em.
Next part is experience and skiklll;s and all dat hazz got it?
okie dokey ! Lets bagan
My skills are! Real smart, nice hat, good with my villager folk.
I dont need to do a resume reals. caus like, i am like da main guy in Walkhampton like, i order everybutt round and just ya know, organise and jail. I is the village mayor, real estate agent and police popicer.
Is real good at doing m y job (You cans say dis)

And den you sign it off with a tick and you done.
The best way to sign it.. is in blood.... so... Matt, hand me a knife so i can cut my hand... for the signature...


- The Daily Crumb

No comments:

Post a Comment