Train Station

"The train station is quiet today."
"Excuse me?"
"I said the train station is quiet today."
"No i heard what you said. I was just wondering why you were speaking to me."
"Oh.. well it's just... there's no one else here to speak with."
"Yes, but what makes you think i want to speak?"
"I just..."
"Think you're being friendly were you? Well?"
"Yes."
"Well shut up then."
"Look mister, I do not like you speaking this way in front of my children."
"Throw em on the track then."
"What?"
"Bits of flesh scattered across the line. Horrible sight, shut em up though."
"Look mate. Shut up."
"This train station is huge. Why don't you just walk to the other side and sit your fat backside down on a free wooden bench?"
"Because you've offended me."
"So what you gunna do? Punch me, or stand there shaking and staring at me with your wonky eyes?"
"How dare you!"
"I dare! I dare! Go away!"
"You have offended both me and my family!"
"Stating the obvious again. Do something about it!"
"You just wait."
"I have been."
"Come on children."
"Yeah. Shove off!"
"If you speak to me like that again i'll..."
"What? What ya gunna do?"
"Come on kids."
"There ya go. Nothing, ya gunna do nothing."

*

"Oh Sam you've spilt Ribena on your jacket! Riannon, what book did you buy?"
"HEY!"
"Ooo, that looks like it's a good one. Think you'll finish it?"
"HEY!"
"Thought you didn't want to talk!"
"No... i don't.
"Then shut up then. How many pages is it? Uh oh! Ha ha, think you'll be able to read all that?"
"Um."
"WHAT?"
"What book is it?"
"Why do you care?"
"I like reading."
"What book is it darling?.. ok.. It's The Three Wishes by Terry Swanfield!"
"I LOVE THAT ONE!"
"Then stop shouting and come over here."
"Ooo lovely!"
"Victim to a good story are we?"
"Yes yes!"
"What's your name?"
"Kenny Brown."
"I'm Pete Songcliff. Nice to meet you."
"Sorry about earlier. I sometimes lack social skills at awkward times."
"That's ok. Do you want some Ribena? We bought a whole pack."
"Yes please!"
"Sam, give the nice man a drink please."
"This is nice. When is the next train coming anyway?"
"Not too long i hope. We're all off north to see their mother."
"You kids must be excited!"
"They sure are! Their mums been sitting there waiting for us for months!"
"Oh, whats she doing up north?"
"It's where we buried her. Was her preferred place."
"Oh i'm so sorry."
"It's ok. HEY! I brought my camera. I'll take some pictures."
"Aaah family photos ay. I'm actually on a job trip. I'm missing my family already."
"Got any kids?"
"Just a new born baby and a beautiful wife. I've been a bit grumpy because i have to leave them so often for work!"
"Understandable. Smile Sam!"
"How long has your wife been dead? Sorry, i mean.. passed... away?"
"Haha, it's ok! A week."
"A week?"
"Yeah."
"Oh i'm sorry, i do not mean to sound disrespectful."
"Riannon! Give us a wave and say CHEESE! A few family shots for the album!"
"Do you have a job?"
"Yep, i own a book shop."
"Good pay?"
"It's ok, hey! Who says we get a picture of Kenny Brown? Hey hey!"
"Noooo, not me haha!"
"They say so! they must think you're great, like a long lost uncle."
"Well okay then! I feel appreciated. Sorry again for earlier."
"As i said! It's fine! Now stand back, gotta get a good photo."
"Have you ever done photography?"
"No."
"Oh. haha ok!"
"Back a bit further."
"Righto."
"Just a little bit more."
"Fine."
"And a little bit more."
"Ow!"
"Get out uncle Kenny! I hear the train!"
"I think i've broken my leg. Quick! I need help. Pull me up!"
"THIS IS ME! DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT! NEVER OFFEND ME OR MY FAMILY AGAIN!"

*SPLAT*

"Right! Your mother is expecting us."

- The Daily Crumb