A write up

Today in the news words are only the diamond in the harbour.

In important news today:
"Excuse me, could you take over?"
"But you're the one getting paid to guard the door."
"Yes i know.. but... i need the toilet."
"Why?"
"Why? Well, because i drank alot earlier."
"Oh right, so that is an excuse now is it? Gosh, did the dog eat your homework?"
"No... please, i am busting."
"No, i am only paid to serve free drinks."
"Yes, it was your FREE DRINKS that caused this."
"So it is my fault is it? Well, you are not doing a very good job of winning me over."
"Just stand by the door untill i get back!"
"I said no. Do you know what that means?"
"Yes it means Yes"
"No."
"You really are a git."
"I try to be, drink?"
"no."
"Sure?"
"You realise if i move, certain government information may become avaliable to any old passer by wondering into the secure room?"
"No, i did not realise that. Still will not do it though."
"AARG!"
"Wait.. what kind of government information?"
"Well, where the treasure is hidden of course."
"You're joking?"
"Nope."
"Oh... well i suppose i could stand there for a lil while."
"No i dont trust you now."
"PLEASE!"
"Nope, you said no no no. you cannot just change your mind like that."
"Please! You can have another free drink!"
"What about free pie?
"Yes!!"
"Ok, you stand there while i go to the toilet."


(He returns)
"Have fun standing by the door?"
"Well i wondered in, they asked me who i was. i said a passer by. they asked where their guard was and i said i think i saw him nip to the toilet. So i think you are fired."
"Now you are joking."
"Of course i am! Now i know where the treasure is! WOOHOO!"
"No way! how?"
"I went in and served them all free drinks! Heard them speaking! Problem is, the key to the treasure is in one of the men's clipboards."
"Oh.. Well where is it?"
"I am git. I wont tell you."
"Oh come on, i didnt mean that."
"Oh alright, *whispers*"

(The important men leave the room)

"Where have they gone off to?"
"Toilet, too many of my free drinks!"
"You know what this means dont you..."
"What?"
"Key, now!"
"Go on then."
"Are you not coming? You were all excited about it a moment ago."
"Nah, you go. I trust you to get the key."
"Oh, ok."

"Oh.. hi there.. i did not realise there was still someone in here."
"What are you doing here? Are you trying to get the key?"
"What! No of course not, i was just checking if you were all ok."
"Even though the larger % of us just left the room?"
"Yep.."
"Entering this room while there is a meeting is forbidden. You are fired and you will be fined your lifes earnings."


"How did it go?"
"Grand."
"I forgot to mention one of them did not drink."
"Oh yeah thanks."
"It's ok, ere, want to go to Disneyland next week?"
"No."
"Ok.... you realise that is where the treasure is buried?"
"Yes, you whispered it to me earlier."
"Ok. Well ill be seeing you, lucky that man brought his clipboard to the loo with him i would never have gotten this key on his way out!"
"You mean to say you had the key when you sent me in?"
"I'm a git."
"Lovely. Disneyland it is."

- The Daily Crumb