Crawling with compost (another Pre- Silver Screen)

Today in the news the weird couple in 'Walkhampton Stores' have been fined after leaving out too much rubbish.
This is what they had to say, "Well it aint our fault we got a lot of useless stock .We eat and eat until we can't get out."
Mr. Clapton walked passed with his clipboard and knocked on the door.
"Hello! Village survey!."
("Oh look! You've cut me arm off now!"
"Sorreeee")

Clapton turned and began back down the street past the pub and up to the red telephone box.

"Old beauty you are int ya?"

Telepone box: "Oh yes. I am older than anything else in the village."

"Would you like to do the village survey?"

Telepone box: "Oh sure."

"What did you think of the vegetable competition turn out?"

Telepone box: "Oh... i could not make it to that one."

"Ok. No worries. Next question, what do you think of the pub?"

Telepone box: "Well it looks good from the outside... but never been in."

"Oh.. no that is fine. Next, will you be attending the fair?"

Telepone box: "No."

"You say you're the oldest but you dont seem to have the village spirit."

Telepone box: "I am a phone box.. "

"Still. Last question, any family?"

Telepone box: "Yes actually"

"Oh really, and where are they?"

Telepone box: "Scattered across the United Kingdom."

"Oh dear me... right... well. No comments from me! Have a nice day sir."

Telepone box: "You too..."

*ring*

Matt: "Yes?"

"Hello! My name is Mr. Clapton. I see you are staying at the village hotel."

Matt: "It is basically a cave."

"Fine fine! So! Tell me about yourself, friends?"

Matt: "Well the medium murdered my boss in the city and i dont know anyone in the village."

"AGH! You're a bog then."

Matt: "A what?"

"It is what we like to call outsiders of the village. Have a nice day sir."

Matt: "Wait, dont you want to survey me?"

"Only villagers are surveyed. So long!"

Matt: "Oh, if you see the medium, DONT TELL HIM WHERE I AM!"

"Okeydoke."

- The Daily Crumb