(+61) 06/01/(0)2010 Special Article

Article Contents:
page 1: Fish Parade

page 2: The News

page 3: Story with made up discriptive words

page 4: Crumb Journal

Fish Parade:
Fish with uniforms and magical canes walk across the open sea. Fact, not fiction.

The News:
Today in the news the magic man has a snow machine.
The UK has been covered in snow over the last two days. But not ALL of it. Like a crop circle the heavens have drawn upon this puney country some words in snow.
The words were Bye Dave
No one is sure of what this may mean. Whether this is a biblical term or a Tv reference.

*

The Short and Terrible Story of Terry and the battle of the Beasts:
Written and Starring Marshall Hens as lead role.

Terry could not believe his eyes. He'd come across the first and last Pekencilly Eagle Booster. It looked a bit like a cardboard box. But sure enough, it was there in front of him glowing, burning his eggy eyes.

Storm Bursters Blooped into the main hall shrouding those dancers in smoke. Terry leapt onto the kings throne and waved his Solomony Sword at the terrible beasts that tesco below.
Five soldiers and two elderly chaplings conkered into the hall, matts platting against the hillowy tiles of foolencloth.
Smelchless Terry departed ashore the cabinets, knocking carves from their cages. Flickery Swatch Masks collapsed from golden ick plant vases and sparkled the mist over the beasts.
Figgery Garnish leapt from the chan chan lights above and spidermaned onto the glimmershon tiles below.
"Colosh e'piano preechers! Mark my words boy! Enlitten blinds will behind you before winsed by the collapse of your brow!" Terry spoke with sharp butterfly fear.
The beasts welcomed his call and scattered in blingles across the hillowy tiles of foolencloth.
For where hole be beckoned in which Terry sink and twist to his Teldome death.
For le path of Figgery Garnish leads only to victory about the masterful beasts below. But swordmanship soldiers and eggchop band bringers only aggrivate such encyclopedias of doom. In this much sentance Figg and his eyes depart, but noise brings low beasts to their grave.

Long Live Figgery Garnish and Terry Futureboy


The End

*

Crumb Journal:


When i was in school the teacher gave us a surprise test.
He said this
"Before you start. Please read through the whole test."
Well, they say that all the time don't they? To prepare you, so you can get right into it when the whistle is blown. (There was no whistle)

So we all read through it. There were some maths questions and some other odd ones that made no sense, something about the neck of a giraffe? (As usual)
"Begin." He said

He let us sit for quite a while writing away before he told us to stop.
Then he asked us a very weird question..
"How many of you did the test?"
Confused i put my hand up along with a lot of the class. But some students did not, about three or four were not putting their hands up. Why was this?
My mind made up some absurd theories. One of which was that the three students had grouped up to fight against tests, so they refused to do it. The teacher must have found out about these children's plans!

No no, it was much more simple that.

At the bottom of the test paper it said
"Do not answer any of the questions above."

I never thought that was being serious. When i read it i did not see it as relevent to the test.