Completed my first full length Stage-play to end 2023

Hello readers.

I just wanted to throw together a quick update about my 2023. While things have been quite busy with family and jobs, I did manage to write a play. I did this by working one day a week (when it was possible) and on occasion, during early mornings (that was difficult).

I've never written a full length play before. In 2019 I adapted a short film I made for YouTube into a 15 minute stage-play. Though, a lot of my dialogue during the film making process was improvised, so a stage-play based on it was kind of dishonest (in a playwright kind of way). 

That story was not ideal for the stage, it only required 2 actors and was very short. It was considered at one point by a student theatre, but ultimately they changed their minds. Then, the pandemic hit and I think everyone got a bit distracted.

Just before the pandemic hit though, in December of 2019, I submitted an idea to the same theatre that I'd really just come up with on the spot. It was called 'My Art Room'. The theatre then asked for the script, which I didn't have. After a short struggle to write something and a pandemic, the idea fell to the curb. 

In 2021 I began to have these story points and character moments popping up in my head. I was busy working on a children's comic strip at the time, but at the back of my head, something more grown up was brewing. It started as a desire to tell the story of a young man who had just moved into his own place, what sort of characters would he meet? Would he find love? 

A newspaper even asked if I'd like to make a separate comic for them to print, and my go straight into this new project rose to the surface. In coming up with a main character's name, I thought about the whole essence of existing and being born into chaos (life!). A man dunked into the world came to mind. I came up with the name Duncan, a person trying to figure out life, just like all of us. That name stuck.

That comic idea was way too ambitious for a non paid newspaper strip, so it was also thrown to the curb.

The pandemic left me a different person. During the lock-downs, I experience creative highs that I'd not felt since university. This was all because I was given the time, with no work stresses. Later in 2021, Neighbourhood Press and the Perth Comic Arts Festival were putting together a West Coast Comics Anthology. WA Artists were asked to produce 2 pages for a cool Risograph print book. 

While dealing with an arm injury, I produced a comic about a man and his partner during a lock-down scenario. In that time, the man paints, makes music and gets his hair cut. His mental health improves dramatically. Like all lockdowns (hopefully), they end, and the man has to return to work, miserable and away from his creative endeavours. This comic was controversial for some people I knew. How on earth could a lockdown and a pandemic be seen as good in ANY WAY? No one said a pandemic was good, and a lockdown get's old pretty fast. The point I was trying to make, was more about how society is treating artists, holding them back from their happiness. While this seems like a very privileged way of thinking (and it certainly is), it comes back to mental health. And in a world that is waking up to mental health, maybe this is an important subject to look into?

In 2023, I began writing a full length play based on the original idea I submitted in 2019 and the artistic struggle presented in the Neighbourhood Press Comic.

The play is called 'Duncan's Art Room', it includes two songs produced with my friend Daniel Symons. It's not a musical, it's a drama romance. I came across this other possible genre name, an urban fantasy!? Sounds cool.

Anyway, I have submitted it to one Theatre. Who knows what the future holds. Perhaps nothing will come off it and I'll move on. Or maybe it will be performed.

*

In other news. I'm excited to do some more drawing and comic writing soon!

- Nathan 

Nostalgia hits home

 Here are some videos I watched recently. 

They both talk of similar cases. For me anyway.

I was a huge fan of the original Sims game, and the first Gorillaz album. As the momentum rolled on for both franchises, the effort and quality of parts 2 (Sims 2, Demon Days) and 3 (Sims 3 and Plastic Beach) changed my world. I have followed both since I was young, and both franchises still churn on today. I quit The Sims 4 pretty much as soon as I played it. I even made 2 animations making fun of how dodgy it all was. Anyway. It is bittersweet really, because not long ago these things felt so fresh.  I played almost every expansion of Sims 1 and 2, and I spent many years playing 3 (I even dabble nowadays. I am intrigued by this new bit of EA competition recently announced: Life by You.) 

Gorillaz work is hit and miss, hard to rate, but most can agree the artwork and music matched nicely during their first 3 albums. 

 Such is life. 

~ The Daily Crumb

Quick Update 12/11/22

To the reader,

How are you? Oh, you can't respond. 

What's been happening with me?  Well, I have to be quick as I have a sleeping baby that will very soon awaken from his slumber. Then the dishes need washing, I must also make sure the boy does not eat any small dangerous items left lying about the place. Then it will probably be stinky poo cleaning time and lunch (Not to be done at the same time.)

It's a new career. But very rewarding. Not in a monetary sense, no, it's the opposite of that really. But fulfilling none the less. My partner is very good, we work as a team and while there may be struggles, we are a loving household. This here is a very important point.

That aside, I noticed I have never mentioned probably the biggest project I have ever embarked on in this blog. That may be because I just don't use the blog much, I just get on with it.

But if you do keep up with me, you'll know I ran a comic strip called 'Walpole Kids' for local Australian newspapers, 'Walpole Weekly', 'Great Southern Weekender' and 'The Extra.' This began in 2020 and ended (somewhat) during 2022 due to baby stuff. While the comic was voluntary, it gave me some chances to produce some paid work featuring the characters. The pay was never anything additional to my regular pay so no amazing outcome there, but it was and has been creatively fulfilling. That and my comic addition to 2021's 'Neighbourhood Press' book really gave me that sense that what I do is not all for waste. 

The Walpole Community Resource Centre hired to me to help with grant writing, article writing (newspaper) customer support and a variety of other tasks.

Through them I have run two kids comic making workshops, made a Art Documentary with Regional Arts WA and most recently, a 4 page comic guidebook for Keep Australia Beautiful. The kid characters have certainly been around.

I also presented a talk at 2021's Perth Comic Arts Festival and have appeared in multiple newspapers in relation to my comic books and documentary. Incredible! Walpole Kids Comics is officially my most successful project, though the monetary outcome will continue to lack. You don't get anything from nothing. The truth is, volunteering helps a lot in my experience. In the arts, you have to work hard for free and in your own time. Because your passion is your passion. No ones going to appreciate it until you've worked your unpaid butt off. This is the truth. 

I still hope one day to have an animated series of Walpole Kids, or even (more likely maybe) a live action adaptation. Perhaps that will come. I'd like to produce a Walpole Kids graphic novel, without money or time? Hmm.

I want to write more, write films, plays, comic stories, no time. One day there may be time, I'm not dead yet. At the moment I am trying to cherish the beautiful little boy that is my son who changes and grows every day. Once day he'll be big, and off on his own journeys. He's only a baby once after all.

But time management and keeping dreams from rocking the system can be difficult. My whole life and the kitchen sink revolved around projects in the past. Whether it be a short animated film (parody or original) or amateur live action film, or a simple drawing or lonely old script or awkward song. Now things are a bit different. 

I am mostly going to work to pay for family stuff, but I don't earn enough to even do that. Constantly in a struggle I will never have the time to pursue a project 100%. The most I give a project these days is 2% if it's in my own time. 

Luckily, with the documentary and the Keep Australia Beautiful project, I was able to get paid for my time, but even then I worked over hours for my own creative fulfillment. Art can't be held back for a budget, well it can, but it shouldn't. 

Even saying that, much of my work for the last few years has been cut to budget and time, even the voluntary stuff.

The biggest project and one I am most proud of what the Doctor Who Goes Gangsta short parody film I made in 2015. I had no work at the time and no family. But I would not want to relive that, as I was not in the best of places. I am much happier now. But creatively it can be difficult. 

No one is going to give me a pot of gold and tell me to make an animated film or comic book. Grants have come to mind. But even the time to compile a project properly and write a grant takes time I don't really have.

Anyway.

I miss the George project, but I am proud of what I achieved.

Please find some of my projects you may have missed below.

Inspiration wise, I have been flicking through the works of local Perth/Australia cartoonists, Jamie Hewlett's Gorillaz and Art Book, Peanuts, Miyazaki and The Beano. 

I also made an album you can check out as well. It's called Narrowboat Dreams and it is on Spotify, Youtube etc.

Keep UP TO DATE on my Instagram and website 

~ The Daily Crumb

Damon Albarn, A Legacy. Top 10 Songs

I'm a Damon Albarn nerd, always have been.

On many occasions I have listed my favourite songs in my head but never written them down. His work spreads across a multitude of genres and band names. From Seymour to Blur to Mali Music to Gorillaz...

Today, I'll be choosing my top top favourite songs and TRYING to be a harsh critic. He has made many many songs across his career, so can I choose THE BEST ones? My favourites anyway. 

Now for the record, my favourite of his projects is Blur but I'm trying to even out the playing ground a bit with this list.

What will Damon mostly be remembered for by an emotionally attached fan?

Here we go (In no particular order):

1. Blur - Beetlebum

Emotional, epic and blur at their best. 

2. Gorillaz - To Binge

The most beachy song on the Plastic Beach album, and a duet? Brilliant. Intriguing lyrics from both artists as well. It's a great sister track to 'Empire Ants' which almost made the list!

3. Blur - Young and Lovely (Live at Hyde Park 2012)

Great B-Side performed once again to better effect with some awesome guitar from Graham Coxon. Bit of an ear-worm.

4. Gorillaz - Dare

As much as 'Demon Days' is an epic album of choir and hip hop, I do admire a great dance song. This is the best dance song Damon has written. I may also be a little bias because this is my favourite of the Gorillaz animated videos.

5. Dr Dee - Apple Carts

This whole album/ musical is beautiful but Apple Carts really starts it off well. Unlike much of Damon's music, the lyrics really bring to life a sense of place and time... with matching instrumentals. 

6. Gorillaz - Stylo

Like Apple Carts, it sets a tone for the Plastic Beach album. Electronic, maybe simplistic? Melodic with big surprises. With two big name guest vocals, Stylo says a lot and just sounds great. 

7. Blur - Out of Time

This is my favourite song of all time, so of course it would be on my list. Lyrically beautiful, instrumentally beautiful, vocally beautiful... it even has an apparent Doctor Who sound bite shoved in at the beginning (Info via Wikipedia.) The title speaks to me a lot as well. Here is where the bias comes in, this was the first new blur song to release after I had initially discovered the band. So of course I was excited. You can't deny it though, it's a gorgeous song.

8. Blur - Country Sad Ballad Man

Might as well get all of the Blur songs out of the way...   This song is experimental with guitar, gritty, angry, sad, confused and distant. I love all that about it. It's a popular one with Blur fans and so it should be.

9. Good the Bad and the Queen - Nineteen Seventeen

This one might be a bit of a wild card. I go back and fourth on it, it must be a slow burner. Out of all of the tracks on this very well produced storytelling album, 'Merrie Land,' this song has always stood out the most. Great storytelling lyrically and Tony Allen's drums are brilliant as usual.

10. Mali Music - Sunset Coming On

10 on the list is always tricky. But I chose a song that most would agree is a quiet gem. Everyone wants a piece of this track.

Honourable Mentions:

1. Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood

2. Blur - There are too many of us

3. Gorillaz - Desole

4. Damon Albarn - Lonely Press Play

5. Damon Albarn - Particles

Let me know your top 10 fave Damon songs!

- The Daily Crumb

George Bothers Finale

Hi everyone,

Welcome to this humble blog. Today I am going to be writing about the YouTube series, George Bothers, and how it ended.

(Above: George in Cartoon Form)

Playing GTA5 Roleplay was an incredible discovery for me. For a long time I had been on the search for a game that suited the play I liked to play. Creating characters and telling stories. I've played various versions of The Sims games since it's original release in 2000 but, at the end of the day there were plenty of limitations. It never felt as alive, and of course you could never run over anyone with a car! GTA5 Roleplay gave me the opportunity to create new characters (Using GTA skins and my own voice) and improvise my way through roleplay and genuinely funny situations.
For me, it was a GOLDMINE for straight man, funny man. Working with some of the players that dedicate themselves to authority roles turned out hilarious. Watching them either break character or try and work out how to deal with a silly old man in the most realistic way possible.

The first half of the video series was recorded on various servers on FIVEM (The modded GTA). Each server has it's own community of people, and players really just need to find the one that suits them.
I created George on a server I was continuously kicked out of, named COPS RP. I'm not sure if they are still running today. I was kicked out for silly reasons, once for trying to react a scene from Back to the Future 3 where a car is on a train track. Surely a guy can play out his Back to the Future III fantasy!
Soon enough, I created George. I was the only one around, as far as I could tell that used this Civilian Skin. George was an old chap with a pink jumper and everyone loved him!
Suddenly, all the same things I was doing before, were no longer getting me kicked out! Because a funny old man was doing it all!

A community began to build up and George became everyone's friend. But these servers all have leaders, some more mature than others. In their defense, they pay to keep these things running, and that must be a challenge in itself.
There were conflicts and the server fell apart. COPS RP closed down and George was left as a floater in the great FiveM toilet.

I believe I made 11 episodes in a variety of different servers, never knowing where George's next meal was coming from. It was so difficult to find good players or interesting servers day by day. Every video you watch in that middle section of the George Bothers history is pretty inconsistent when it comes to story and funnies.
Saying that, this was a time of reflection.
I really enjoyed producing this sketch comedy video style and a George Trailer produced for my by Lesmovids inspired me to edit HARDER. I was keen to edit in the way, that the young whipper snappers of Youtube would understand.

Hanging onto the strands of COPS RP, some online friends gave me the opportunity to produce two roleplay/ machinima mixes. In these, I tried to build short films of George backstory and music. In short, his back story involved his involvement in a plane crash and his father.

Eventually I decided, I want to give George one more shot. I was eagerly hoping for his popularity to catch on at any point but it was not to be. After a friend of mine '''Sweet Anita', on twitch hit massive fame I was still hopeful for the old chap.

I created an animated version of George to enhance the branding, and hunted for a new server.
First off, I tried to get into one of the biggest FiveM servers known, 'DOJ'. Or at least, it was once one of the biggest. I think their military and cult-like nature may have scared a few people away.
I was accepted, but immediately walked away. After being asked to memorize various amounts of paperwork and do certain things certain people told me too, I told myself it WAS NOT worth it.

Soon enough, I came across a server that was a little bit more friendly to get into. While it did have the strong structure of a well-functioning server (Similar to DOJ), it seemed more friendly and welcoming to new players. They were more interested in seeing what fun stories and characters I was going to bring to them. The server was called Áspirant Gaming' and ended up being George's core home for some of the best George Bothers episodes I produced (In my opinion). 12 episodes were filmed using the Aspirant Gaming server and I hope one day there will be more.

Aspirant Gaming was not ALL bunnies and bowties though. After a successful first video, 'Celebrity Shop Manager', I was excited to continue my George's father story-line, set up in my previous episode. But doing so, It was required to bring my friend James (Who played George's father) back into FIVEM. As he was not a part of Aspirant Gaming I thought the best option was to find a nice quiet server (Preferably empty) and record some machinima based media.
Suddenly a red flag as a bot (or a person, or both), notified me on the Aspirant Discord, that I had been seen in another server. A few frantic personal messages I'd missed and suddenly I was banned from the server.

I was passionate about continuing my George back-story with James, but had to make a decision.

Aspirant Gaming had reliable players that offered me an opportunity to record some consistent video content and they were giving me a chance to return.
At this point I was enjoying the comedy editing and found myself watching a bunch of other GTA video content online. I hoped I had a chance of getting an income from my quest. I was really upset with my real life job taking up so much of my creative time and needed some hope. That sounds silly now, but tell that to those video makers online who have made it.

I decided to scrap the story video and create more consistently comedy based George videos (The ones people actually enjoyed watching).
I am proud of the episodes I created, though at some points it did feel like a job. Each video needs people interaction, and on this server, I'd usually have to wake up and play between 3AM to 9AM in the morning for that interaction. It was worth it, but difficult. Time-zones are a killer!

I met some wonderful people on there, and always loved adding characters into George's friendship family.
Unfortunately, due to the way I recorded videos, George's friendships never lasted. Whether it be players leaving servers or just plain old timezone issues. I suppose we can put it down to his memory.

I'm going to treat George Bothers like it is a legitimate program now, mainly because I enjoy writing lists.
The list below only includes GTA5 episodes, with no other George related videos included.


George Bothers 
Season 1

Episode 1: 
George is in a Bank Robbery

Episode 2:
George writes to the Council
Description: 
This episode cemented what I wanted to do with George Bothers and ended up being one of the most popular episodes. This episode also reveals the possibility that someone in George's family was named Jennifer.

Episode 3: 
Georges sees a Sand Wagon
Description:
This episode reveals George's love for animals when he meets a little birdy!

Episode 4:
George moves house and is on TV!
Description:
George gets some help moving from his old house to his new house! His old house was rarely seen in any episodes but was used in RP for a long time previous. The old house appears briefly in 'George gets his house back'. The new house is revealed to have Flamingos outside.

Episode 5:
George shoots an old friend!
Description:
I will always remember this episode as the one I rush recorded after I did a way better version of it and it crashed!

Episode 6: 
George becomes a Security Guard
Description:
Love this concept and some of the video I still find quite funny. Though I wished I could have done some more of George as a guard.
As a side note, this was the first episode where another character in the George universe was revealed (But never mentioned again). George's security guard friend.

George Stories: PROLOGUE
Description:
A non George Bothers episode. It is revealed George taking his first flight as a young pilot. He had been drinking and going a bit heavy on the biscuits before the crash. The plane was flying from London and crashed in Sandy Shores, USA.

Episode 7:
George makes dreams come true!
Description:
This was the last episode recorded on the COPS RP server before it closed.

Episode 8:
George goes Christmas Shopping
Description:
Jumping from server to server, the episode is a bit of a mess but still fun. He meets a little catholic Irish lad.

George Stories: PART 1 (George meets Cliff)
Description: 
I was lucky enough to work with a friend from the last remaining shatters of COPS RP, who was running his own server. With a few pals we shot the whole story in one evening. John, whose server it was, also played George's OLDEST friend, John, in game.
The story reveals the co-pilot from the doomed plane was out for revenge on George. At the last minute, George's good friend John comes to save him.

Episode 9:
George's Delivery Donuts
Description:
This is still one of my favorite episodes with one of my favorite titles. This episode, no matter how silly it is, introduces us to one of George's main recurring friends, The Texan Man (Dick Donnelly?) played by my friend James who came into FiveM to encourage me to make more videos.

Episode 10:
OLD MAN BURNS DOWN FIRE STATION??
Description:
First attempt at a click-bait title. That title honestly does happen though so it's pretty funny. The Texan Man returns in this episode.

Episode 11:
OLD MAN BUYS $500 JAFFA CAKES
Description:
The first half of this video is very funny and ended up as a large portion in the best of collection.

Episode 12:
OLD MAN ROLEPLAY AS TOUR BUS DRIVER??
Description:
First episode that subtly reveals issues with George's father. Also PLENTY of Flamingo love.

George Stories: PART 2 (Daddy Issues)
Description: 
A controversial second part! For my friends anyway. But at the end of the day, this is the story I wanted to tell. I suppose my only regret, now that I know how difficult it is to actually make these, is that I didn't push the grumpy Neighbour Lady to the side for the Dad story (Which needed a bit of work). Still, I had fun and some of the drama is great in my opinion. This episode reveals that the Flamingos were George's mothers. John, Dave and Barry. Barry was destroyed by his father.

It also reveals that no one was responsible for the plane crash, and that George's father had influenced the US police and pushed the co-pilot, Watson to imprisonment.  (This is a plot point I very much hoped to open up in a future episode, but not sure I will now)

I still enjoy the neighbor and her son story-line. There was an unanswered question though. The Texan Man says the Neighbours son is dead so no need to worry, but his death was never seen on screen....

Episode 13:
OLD MAN TAXI DRIVER BREAKS THE LAW!
Description:
Some okay moments but overall, shows my struggle to record good content when jumping from server to server. Does show off George's love for drawing birds, both real and metal.

Episode 14:
OLD MAN SELLS ICE-CREAM HOTDOGS??

Episode 15:
Celebrity shop Manager!
Description:
First episode recorded on new Aspirant Gaming server! It was very well received. Subtly revealed George's memory loss in one scene. Also played out George's love of Hip Hip and performance.
This was also the first episode to be based in the city (Outside of Sandy Shores)

Episode 16:
SPEED DATING CHAOS!
Description:
While in the city George meets a new recurring friend, Bea Landers! It was certainly nice for George to meet some people closer to his age group in this episode. This episode also reveals George's love for his magical pink bicycle, Sally. Sally returns in a few other episodes but not with quite as much passion shown here.

Episode 17:
OLD MAN ANIMAL ESCAPE!
Description:
Regarded as the best episode to some who like animals escaping! George makes friends with a boar he names Barry (named after his mothers Flamingo? WHO KNOWS). He also meets a cat.

George Stories: PART 3 (George get's his house back)
Description: 
While I was not able to bring James into Aspirant Gaming to continue the story with me, I asked him to record a goodbye letter I could play over the video.
This episode shows George driving past his old house and reflecting on the lives loss from the plane crash, as well as Watson's wrongful imprisonment.
It is revealed subtly in this episode, that the Texan Man is having to leave as he had killed the Neighbours son from PART 2.

Episode 18:
OLD MAN VS SNAKE! (AND FLAMINGOS)
Description:
George meets up with Bea Landers again (For the last time)

Episode 19:
George's Funny Hostage Adventure
Description:

Episode 20:
Grandpa's Last Crimewave
Description:
Some of my favorite funny moments are in this episode.

Episode 21:
Old Man Starts Gang War
Description:
At this point most 'George Canon' is not really important. These episodes are all just fun, jokey trolling.

Episode 22:
Hairless in GTA! Secrets Revealed!
Description:
George visits the medical centre after a tragic accident at the hairdressers! (It's a bad hair cut) This episode reveals George used to be a popular pink jumper wearing model for the Fireman's Calenders.

Episode 23:
Grandpa Snow Dog Rescue!
Description:
Honestly one of my favorite episodes. Very sweet, quite funny. George befriending fluffy mutt in the snow.

Episode 24:
Grandpa's Big Butt Adventures
(Also known as, George Stories PART 4)
Description:
The final episode begins as a typical comedy sketch episode, trolling people in the usual George fashion. But soon turns into a more serious story. George has some issues with his placement and his memory, and is soon revealed to have Dementia.
While trying to deal with this, George returns to the Lighthouse clifftop seen in George Stories PART 1. Here he attempts to call his oldest friend John, who had once stood on that clifftop with him. Unfortunately John had passed away. George deals with this, and when trying to move on feels a sense of optimism, only John could have given him.
Then George accidentally drives off of the cliff and has been missing ever since.


If anyone is curious as to what my favorite episode is. It would be the BEST OF collection I made of all my favorite bits. (Not including final episode)

The End

George Shambles' Day at the Library

George Shambles' Day at the Library

Written by Michael Shambles & George Shambles

Before I begin, I'd like to thank a few people. I'd like to thank Bobby Hunt from the local library for not getting too upset when I returned the book, 'Top 10 Teas that start with T' three days too late.
I know we didn't talk much, but your understanding lead me to oggle your name tag and mention you in this story.
Usually that lady with the dark hair is quite rude to me when I return books late, “She says, HOW DARE YOU GEORGE!” She likes to exaggerate. So do I. She's never really said that, I'm so sorry Imogen Perkins, I meant no harm and I'll be sure to keep your identity secretive.

If I'm completely honest, Imogen gave me a bit of a grumpy glare and then moved on. But for the rest of that day I was sat slurping my tea noisily in upset.

This week, while I was in the garden watering the pumpkins and feeding the Flamingos, it suddenly dawned on me. 'Top 10 Teas that start with T' was still on my bedside table, chaps. Not only that, I'd left my little light on. So I ran upstairs (I walked), crashed through my bedroom door! (I opened it gently, didn't even creak.) And I went for a nap on my bed. It was very comfortable you see. The duvet was so cosy and warm.

It was raining outside and I was just ready to slip into dream land. There was absolutely no other option.

Three days later I picked up the book and caught the bus to the library, dreading I'd see that nasty nameless woman again! Luckily for me, the sun was shining that day and Bobby Hunt was stood at the desk waiting for an old man to stumble through those electronic doors.

Can we just talk about those electronic doors for one second please? So on most occasions, they know when I have arrived. It's very good of them, I always tip my hat to the robots if I'm wearing a hat that day.

But sometimes, perhaps I step too far or too soon... sometimes the doors do not open. First I wonder, “Gosh, is the Library closed? That's very inconsistent with their window sign." I even check my personal folded up calendar I keep in my trousers. It's quite a big calendar, folded seven times down to a pocket fitting size. But once it's unravelled, blimey, it'll cover a whole Town Hall pinup board. The calendar answered none of my queries.

My next thought, after continued ignorance from the door ghosts, was “Am I banned?”

The problem is chaps, after one or six late book returns, who knows what these Libraries are capable of? I thought, 'Right! That Imogen has locked the doors for good. No more books for George.'

Just a little bit of information about myself before we move on. Sometimes, I like to not take the books out, but instead stick a little bookmark in it and put it back on the shelf. Problem is, I then forget which books I've read. Who knows how many books are ravaged by my bookmarks by now? Scattered across the bookshelves like a load of old books in a library full off bookmarks.

I thought this could well be the reason for this despicable shut down of my rights.

It turns out, the doors just do that sometimes. I was let in and took my book to the front desk.

Bobby was there, hardly even out of school he was. His face looked like a handful of freshly cut grass blades had been distributed delicately over a slice of pizza. He said he liked my pink jumper, I told him he should get one. Highly fashionable In 2020. He said he would think about it and took the library book from my giving hands.

“Ah George Shambles. Great name. You know this book is three days late?”

I pondered for a moment, could I perhaps use the dementia card? Yes quite an idea, George!

I replied, “Sorry sir, I seem to have left my dementia card AT HOME.” I winked at Bobby for a minute or two and waited for a response.

He stood in front of me, confusion creasing up his face like a wet sponge. “Oh...”

“That's okay George, it will just be a very small fee and you'll be on your way to borrowing more books.”

Bobby was a wonderful chap. IS a wonderful chap, and I'll never forget that delightful gesture he gave to me.

'Top 10 Ts that start with a T' was successfully returned and I was ready to stick my bookmark in the next unsuspecting gardening publication.

By the way, the question on everyone's lips is ,"George, what did you think of the book?" I thought it was very interesting. I'm not sure I would have gone for Tiramisu Tea as number one myself, but at least Turkey Tea came above Tissue Tea in the final countdown. If I were to write the book, I'd have shot Torchlight Tea RIGHT to the top, due to it's glow in the dark characteristics.  

Thank you for reading my short story, “George Shambles' Day at the Library”. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed living it and then telling my grandson to write it all down.

• George Shambles