Tuesday, November 24, 2015

TOP 10 REASONS BUZZFEED EXISTS

TOP 10 REASONS BUZZFEED EXISTS



1. The creator of the website fed a Buzzard too much Buzzard food.
(Buzzard is a type of bird)














2. Cracked.com was just too intelligent for us.
(Because that website has very long paragraphs)














3. Everyone wants to be a Disney Princess.
(Even the manliest of men that kill animals and build walls and eat Nutri Grain want to be a Disney Princess. Question is, which one?)














4. People like lists.
(I like lists, so this must be true)















5. Buzzfeed asks the question 'What kind of Old Person will you be?' But never asks the question, 'What kind of Young Person were you in World War 2?'
(They are actually ageist)













6. Adorable Giraffe Products.
(27 Adorable Giraffe Products You Need In Your Life can be found on Buzzfeed.com. Don't miss out on this amazing opportunity. Below shows someone wearing a Giraffe ring)














7. Stupid, terrible, physical magazines that gossip about celebrities have been replaced by Buzzfeed.
(The ghost of our dead hamster is giving my child the father-son relationship he really needs)




















8. If you click things, Buzzfeed probably gets money.
(This IS the top 10 reasons Buzzfeed exists..)












9. It talks to cool children who know how to speak the lingo.
(It's main website links are titled 'LOL', 'WIN', 'OMG', 'CUTE','FAIL and 'WTF)
(What on giddy earth are they talking about? Bless their little cotton socks)












10. You have interests, you have nostalgia, we have connected culture. And they feed on that. 
(It's your fault for being privileged)



Thanks for listening.